i understand if it is literally the same thing over and over, example:

can we get a pool?
can we get a pool?
can we get a pool?
can we get a pool?
can we get a pool?

but that is not what i'm talking about, i mean that people get mad when someone sticks to a general theme, such as list making or a certain topic that may contain repetitive themes, example:

i can say: i love cats. they are so much fun
other person1: yes cats are fun when they play with string
other person2:my cat loves his string
annoyed person:enough about cats already!!!!!!!!!

i'm just trying to understand why things like this can bother people so much and they feel the need for every conversation to go exactly the way they want it. the same thing happens when i say something "random" because i want to start a new topic (i wish real life could be like forums, where you can post a new thread anytime and not worry about interrupting).

is there guidelines in social interaction for when you can talk about something, how much you can, and how many times the topic has to be changed to prevent people from getting annoyed. someone seriously should write the rules down, or it is a free for all.

I think some people get bored especially if they didn't pick the topic. After awhile, perhaps they think the topic has been exhausted and it's time to move on?

[That What]

Originally Posted by Anna72914

i understand if it is literally the same thing over and over, example:

can we get a pool?
can we get a pool?
can we get a pool?
can we get a pool?
can we get a pool?

but that is not what i'm talking about, i mean that people get mad when someone sticks to a general theme, such as list making or a certain topic that may contain repetitive themes, example:

i can say: i love cats. they are so much fun
other person1: yes cats are fun when they play with string
other person2:my cat loves his string
annoyed person:enough about cats already!!!!!!!!!

i'm just trying to understand why things like this can bother people so much and they feel the need for every conversation to go exactly the way they want it. the same thing happens when i say something "random" because i want to start a new topic (i wish real life could be like forums, where you can post a new thread anytime and not worry about interrupting).

is there guidelines in social interaction for when you can talk about something, how much you can, and how many times the topic has to be changed to prevent people from getting annoyed. someone seriously should write the rules down, or it is a free for all.

apply physical "actions" to spoken words.

first....Eye love cats....they...they what...are so much fun.

second describes "eye observation" and "fun acts" ...playing with strings.

3rd joins first and second "closing" topic....MY cats love string playing.

Fourth.."feels"...shut out....shuts down cat topic.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

1. If the internet has proven anything to be true it's that ppl NEVER get bored with cat shenanigans!! (LOL )
2. It's all about finding ur target audience....what may be a flop with one group...might be a big hit with another.
3. Keep it broad.... if you open up a broad discussion (ex. All things cats...as opposed to calico cats) you are more likely for people to chime in with their thoughts and then the topic can take its own path and periodically you will get someone who posts something novel or random that might reignite when last path goes dead.
4. IDK, why exactly ppl find repetition annoying... we are all creatures of habit in someway and we all have our own repetitive daily rituals and quirks. So I don't think ppl find their own repetition to be annoying just are intolerant of others or the opposite may be true...that ppl are annoyed by their own repetition and therefore lash out at others. Jung stated that the majority of behaviours that ppl blame/shame others for are the things we hate most about ourselves but refuse to own (shadow selves)

I have no problem with such a converstion - unless person one has droned on about cats previously

[melmyers1107]

because poeple find that repetition is the greatest force of annoyance among one another.!!!

[Fuzzybear]

Shadow self .... People who have not analysed self and own darkness and imperfections..
(Who repetitively blame others instead of doing this important self work..)

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by That What

apply physical "actions" to spoken words.

first....Eye love cats....they...they what...are so much fun.

second describes "eye observation" and "fun acts" ...playing with strings.

3rd joins first and second "closing" topic....MY cats love string playing.

Fourth.."feels"...shut out....shuts down cat topic.

I think in real life two interlocutors usually pick up on when a conversation has run its course and they move on.

[Chocopiano27]

maybe simply because they're bored and think the conversation topic is dull

I have a few, what I will describe as, 'performance based' aquaintances. They are great story tellers who are very amusing. It is when I hear the same stories in every social gathering repeated over and over again that I get rather put off.

If the annoyed person doesn't enjoy the company they're keeping, it's up to them to find other people (with shared interests) to hang out with!

That way they don't resort to rude and abusive shut downs of topics of conversations that other people are enjoying!

Furthermore, they may find themselves no longer invited to join in future conversations with people they've offended with their abrupt behavior!

Eh, but what do I know? ... I'm just a Pfrog!

Ribbit!

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I have a few, what I will describe as, 'performance based' aquaintances. They are great story tellers who are very amusing. It is when I hear the same stories in every social gathering repeated over and over again that I get rather put off.

I think I know the type of person you are talking about... I have been told by family and the few friends I have that I have told them the same stories and information repeatedly...but, I don't do this purposely or to "perform"...I have a lot of memory issues, so I am always surprised when told this bc I literally unaware that I have told them sed story b4...and then I get upset w/ myself and self conscious It is rare that I go to social gatherings bc I have terrible anxiety esp in groups of ppl. When I do I try to engage in conversation, but generally find that ppl don't listen, speak over me, or sometimes walk away when I try to be part of a conversation... I don't think it's bc I am saying something I have b4, but I don't understand social interactions well, so IDK??
I do know that sometimes I speak in streams (hardie filtering and composing thoughts), but this is mostly in one on one conversations...my mind tends to view a subject from multiple angles and I have been told that I can say the same thing in many different ways..sometimes these ways are just slightly different wording structure, which I guess to many other ppl can appear repetitive, but to me are entirely different statements bc I view seemingly small nuances to have greatly different meanings.. most of the time...those who know me well..are not unkind about it, they will either change the subject or make polite excuses and get off the phone w/me...when I become aware that I am doing this I find it very distressing esp when I can't seem to stop..I started the thought out loud and if I don't finish it out loud it will continue to go round and round in my head.. I don't know why, but I get angry at myself for this.

Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods

I think I know the type of person you are talking about... I have been told by family and the few friends I have that I have told them the same stories and information repeatedly...but, I don't do this purposely or to "perform"...I have a lot of memory issues, so I am always surprised when told this bc I literally unaware that I have told them sed story b4...and then I get upset w/ myself and self conscious It is rare that I go to social gatherings bc I have terrible anxiety esp in groups of ppl. When I do I try to engage in conversation, but generally find that ppl don't listen, speak over me, or sometimes walk away when I try to be part of a conversation... I don't think it's bc I am saying something I have b4, but I don't understand social interactions well, so IDK??
I do know that sometimes I speak in streams (hardie filtering and composing thoughts), but this is mostly in one on one conversations...my mind tends to view a subject from multiple angles and I have been told that I can say the same thing in many different ways..sometimes these ways are just slightly different wording structure, which I guess to many other ppl can appear repetitive, but to me are entirely different statements bc I view seemingly small nuances to have greatly different meanings.. most of the time...those who know me well..are not unkind about it, they will either change the subject or make polite excuses and get off the phone w/me...when I become aware that I am doing this I find it very distressing esp when I can't seem to stop..I started the thought out loud and if I don't finish it out loud it will continue to go round and round in my head.. I don't know why, but I get angry at myself for this.

i tend to use the same phrases a lot when i talk to people, show affection or other lighthearted conversation...but to me its no different than someone saying "hi" everytime they see people.

[Moogieotter]

You can always talk to me about cats.

Originally Posted by Moogieotter

You can always talk to me about cats.

i miss you moogieotter