[Aleona]

12 year old child in my school. Very bright. Wonderful musician. Has what I think is severe Victim Mentality. Parents don't recognise it and may have it too. I am no expert. Everyone in school thinks the child is poison except me. I see a little girl in pain. Help me, dear experts - please.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Aleona: Well... we're not experts here. We're primarily people with our own mental health issues who come here to seek & offer support. Unfortunately, with the small amount of information you've provided here, it's difficult to know what to say.

I see you're in the U.K. And, since I'm in the U.S., I don't know how things of this nature work where you are. Where I live, unless there are signs of physical abuse, there's little or nothing anyone can do in the case of a 12 year old child without the parents' active consent. The only thing I can think of would be if there is a school counselor perhaps this person could see the child, during school hours, & assess what may be going on. But it may well be that little if anything further can be done unless the parents approve of it.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Aleona

12 year old child in my school. Very bright. Wonderful musician. Has what I think is severe Victim Mentality. Parents don't recognise it and may have it too. I am no expert. Everyone in school thinks the child is poison except me. I see a little girl in pain. Help me, dear experts - please.

I dont know about your location but here int he USA anyone who works in careers around children are considered mandated reporters. that means if they suspect a childs mental or physical health needs are not getting met (in legal terms this is called the crime of neglect) they make a report to child protective services. then child protective services talks with the child and the child's parents and formulates a plan to help the child if there is a problem, if the problem turns out to be just that the family needs help getting the child mental or physical health treatment they help with that, but if it turns out to be a situation of abuse the child and all other children in the home are removed and a more thorough investigation is done.

also teachers here in the USA have their own work related guidelines for this... suggestion contact those you work for to see if some sort of investigation or testing of the child can be done, at the very least it turns out the child is normal and you go on with life. at the most you have helped this child to get the services that they may need.

[StarBlue]

What can you do other than offer this child your positive regard?

Originally Posted by Aleona

12 year old child in my school. Very bright. Wonderful musician. Has what I think is severe Victim Mentality. Parents don't recognise it and may have it too. I am no expert. Everyone in school thinks the child is poison except me. I see a little girl in pain. Help me, dear experts - please.

Originally Posted by Aleona

12 year old child in my school. Very bright. Wonderful musician. Has what I think is severe Victim Mentality. Parents don't recognise it and may have it too. I am no expert. Everyone in school thinks the child is poison except me. I see a little girl in pain. Help me, dear experts - please.

This is really important to nip in the bud. I grew up with the victim mentality - and I have been the repeated vitim of trauma all my life. Some of my experiences in later life would never happened were I to have had confidence. Looking back on my first 25 years I felt I was the target of bullying - and far worse. I have likened it to walking around with a billboard on my head "abuse me." This all started with early traumatic incidents that were never addressed. In fact my mother's message to me I deserved them.

If you are in a position to do something to help, please do. Does this child display signs they have been victimized? Does it appear an authority figure in their life is a bully? Are they a target for teasing and bullying by other students?

The school system should have guidance counselors and psychologists. Get one involved.

I agree with what the other suggest above. If nothing else, you could talk to the school's counselor to get some advice from her or him. You should not have to address this alone.

Yes, if only one person stepped in to help me as a child - or even show concern - I am sure my life would have taken a positive course and avoided the additional turmoil.