I Am vs. I Have

Last night as I was falling asleep, a thought drifted through my mind. A long time ago someone, likely one of my therapists, told me that we are not our diagnoses. That while I might have bipolar disorder, that doesn't mean the disorder defines my identity or the type of person I am. It is something I have. A cancer patient does not identify themselves by saying "I am cancer." Why should I say, "I am bipolar"? Or any of my other disorders. They are an illness like any medical illness, they have some basis in physical chemistry. Just because they are psychiatric doesn't mean they are not physical...otherwise we wouldn't need to take medication. I personally, refuse to identify myself as one of my diagnoses. They aren't who I am.

For so long now, I have separated myself from the rest of the world. There's everyone else, then there's me with my mental health issues. And all I've thought about were my mental health issues. "Warning, I'm manic today." or "My anxiety is severe today I need to hide." or "I'm socially awkward because of being schizoid." What about...I am a talented artist. Or I'm an avid reader and extremely intellectual? My employer views me was one of the hardest most reliable workers they have. What about those things too? What about me being sweet, cute and empathic? There is more to me than a psychiatric list.

And I just want other people to know...there's more to them than a list of psychiatric diagnoses. We're multi-faceted people. We're more alike, then unlike, with the rest of society. I'm going to try extra hard from now on, to remind myself I'm human, just like everyone else. That I'm not extremely different, even if I function on a much higher level than most people. We all have our humanity tying us together. When people see me, I don't think they see me as crazy, unstable or anything....maybe we're all a little hard on ourselves.

So from now on, it's "I have bipoloar (or whatever)" not "I am..."

Thanks for sharing your insight, vintagexsoul!

I think this is a personal choice. But in some cases it is simply grammar that decides how I say things. I can say I am anxious or I have anxiety. That works. But I feel like I AM ADD. But I can't say I am ADD, I can only say I have ADD. The other one isn't grammatically correct. I say I am short and I have hazel eyes. That doesn't mean I identify more with how tall I am than I do with eye color.

This is a good question; one which led to a lively and heated debate at my supprt group. Personally I say I am Bipolar and as such have symptoms like depression and anxiety.

i always feel better saying "i have" because it feels weird to say, "i am schizophrenic" it almost sounds like i am insulting myself

I like to use AM... because I don't want to feel like I'm sick... schizoaffective and OCD are part of me. I don't HAVE me. I AM me.

Interesting responses. I guess whatever works for you, whatever makes you feel better is the best way to go.

I am aspergic.

I think there are some conditions that are an I AM & others where different symptoms can be actually controlled by meds ot through learning in therapy that I HAVE is more appropriate.

When a condition is situational, I HAVE is definitely more accurate

Love your signature!

I struggle with depression. It is a battle. It is not something I am. It is not something I have or has me.

I am depression.... makes me big black dark object?
I am anxiety.... makes me some scary monster?
I am DID...... makes me look like a jigsaw?

This sits oddly on my head.

I think that it's up to the preference of the individual as to how they deem themselves to be or to have.

Very interesting post, i don't know if i am or have but whatever works for me after i think about it i will decide.

I think the grammar is not as important as the HOW you view your issues. Quirks? Illness? Flaws? Part of who you are?

It's sort of not important. Someone can say they have something and feel they are that. And they can say they are something but feel they have it.

ADD is part of me and since it comes with both positives and negatives it is nothing I want to go away. Still I say I have ADD. I hope it does not signal to others I feel ADD is a terrible disease I want to get rid of.

I even came across people saying "I have fat" instead of "I am fat" because it should not define you.

People, you cannot break grammar to create some affirmation to yourself. Like I am not defined by being pale and I tend to tan in summer, but I don't say "I have pale". I don't say "I have tallness" or "I have 30something".

There are commonly used phrases and sometimes it is about grammar and what sounds right, instead of some silly meaning you add to it and nobody else is able to comprehend.