I don't feel like I belong

Hi. I'm new here. Please bare with me as I know my thoughts will be scrambled. There's so much I want to say.
Currently sitting at my work desk wondering what it's like to be normal.
What my coworkers are feeling or thinking...
I don't know. I don't know what's going on with me lately or why..
Sometimes..well most of the time... I feel like this is not home. This is not where I belong. I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. I have friends but other than a few I keep this part of myself hidden.
Sometimes I find myself staring at my hands or anything wondering and questioning why I'm here.

My friends see me as this person who likes to relax and who has no worries who spends their day beside the lake smoking pot.

But honestly this is how I get away. How I stop thinking. Even if just for a moment. I know it's taking a toll on everything else. I avoid my responsibilities.
I'm just always so sad. I know I overthink but I can't help it.
I feel like I'm not doing anything right. My parents keep comparing me to others. I don't know.. sometimes I just feel like I can't handle it.

I know there's something wrong with me. I don't know what.

I feel like everything stems from not feeling "Normal" or like I belong.

I'm not really sure what I'm even trying to say or ask.
I just need help.
I don't want to be sad anymore.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. Have you tried seeing a doctor/therapist?

Hello GoodbyeDisaster: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

I'm sorry you feel like the odd man out. I felt this way very deeply as a young adult and I figured out my reasons which has helped a little. I still feel this way sometimes but it has gotten a bit more comfortable for me as I've aged, learned, grown and accepted myself for the unique snowflake I am. Everyone thinks they are unique and in our own ways we are of course....but some of us struggle with the social side of life a bit more and that can really make life difficult. We are social creatures and would die without the help of others. We are not meant to be a lone wolf in this world. Are you seeing a therapist so you can figure out why you feel this way? Doing some self exploration guided by a professional can be helpful to some. Perhaps this is something you wish to try? How is your self esteem? Do you like yourself as a person? Do you feel you are a good person? Your parents shouldn't compare you to others, that is cruel. (((Hugs)))

I'm sorry life is so hard for you at the moment. I hope you can find help and support in real life as well as from people on here
Hef