[leejosepho]

Here is the major portion of a letter I have sent to a medical doctor who had sent me a registered letter informing me another appointment would not be made for me after I had twice left her office before seeing her after having already waited at least an hour past each of those two appointment times:

Dr. F.:

Whether or not you might ever again see me as a patient, I am hoping you have the desire, willingness and time to review the following and to restore a bit of my dignity harmed by your December 6th letter containing some misinterpretation and misunderstanding of my actions and attitudes in your office on December 1st, 2016...

At the time of my earlier, first-ever appointment at your office on October 3rd, I had been told you do not see patients who arrive as few as two minutes late for an appointment...then I saw you there within just a few minutes of my scheduled appointment time. Overall, our interactions on that day left me confident of not later having to deal with sensory overload (crowded waiting areas) or other stressors such as unexpected or unanticipated schedule disruptions.

At your satellite location on November 16th, I made an honest effort to deal with its crowded-and-confusing (sensory overload) conditions until discovering my blood pressure was quite elevated and my brain was headed toward shutdown. It was at that point that I did my best to make it clear to your staff that I am on the autism spectrum and was not upset (as in any kind of angry) but that I did need to leave.

All seemed well when I first arrived at your office on December 1st, and it did not take long for me to begin realizing my experience on that day was not going to be the same as on October 3rd. I did manage to have some pleasant conversation with another patient waiting to see you, and I did also manage a bit of napping in hopes of getting through an unanticipated and stressful time of waiting.

note: The quoted excerpts that follow are from her letter to me...

I did not “got irritated on the wait time” on December 1st, and the frustration one of your staff saw at the time I left was related to myself as stemming from my not having been prepared for the lengthy wait I had unexpectedly encountered. Also, I did not “threw your appointment card to the office staff”. Wanting to not invade anyone’s space by doing something like reaching through the window to lay it on the desk, I simply “discarded” it to the desk (essentially the same as playing a card at the table) since I no longer had any need of it.

I do understand your need to formalize a refusal to see a patient, and I also understand your right to do that for any reason of your own choosing. However, it would be inexcusable to ever again attempt to justify such a refusal while relying upon a lack of knowledge and/or consideration of certain challenges faced by autistic or mental-health patients such as myself.

I will not be surprised or angry if I do not hear back from her, but at least now maybe she will be a bit more careful with one or more other mentally- or emotionally-challenged patients.

I am wondering what steps they took if any to inform you and other patients of the wait time. Also, I am wondering about the time of day your appointments are scheduled.

In most cases, the later an appointment falls the longer the wait. A doctor and office cannot control those appointments that end up taking longer than expected. This could occur for several reasons. A routine exam might lead to significant greater attention to the patient. Walk-in clinics are reknowned for this. Finally, a doctor may take patients ahead of others based on triage.

Please realize that running late is also difficult on the physician. I can imagine the stress of often working well past my own scheduled work day. I think it likely this is difficult on their partners and family too.

What should have happened in my opinion is that the staff, upon your check-in, informed you of the wait time and given you the option of leaving and returning later accordingly or the option to rebook.

I am in the habit of booking as early as possible so as to avoid the wait times that are likely to occur near the end of the day. Additionally, I phone ahead to determine the current waiting period.

My doctor's staff is aware of my mental health. If there is a wait they offer the use of a private room to do so.

In the meantime, you were not out of line. I am proud of you for being agressive and advocating for youself

[leejosepho]

I thank you, and yes there are various things that can affect all of that.

>> I am wondering what steps they took if any to inform you and other patients of the wait time.
>> Also, I am wondering about the time of day your appointments are scheduled.

I live near a large teaching hospital where it is not unusual for a morning appointment to ultimately take most of the day by the time you actually see a doctor, and many doctors even at other locations here were trained in that setting and seem to think nothing of doing the same.

>> In most cases, the later an appointment falls the longer the wait.
>> A doctor and office cannot control those appointments that end up taking longer than expected.

Understood, and I typically make AM appointments and show up early with hopes of being finished by noon. In one case last week, I showed up an hour early and ended up finished by time my scheduled appointment time actually came around!

>> Please realize that running late is also difficult on the physician...
>> I think it likely this is difficult on their partners and family too.

Certainly, and it is sad that even doctors are often forced to keep pace on the money-driven treadmill.

>> What should have happened in my opinion is that the staff, upon your check-in, informed you of the wait time and given you the option of leaving and returning later accordingly or the option to rebook.

I have occasionally thought about asking, but I suspect I would then be labeled as being impatient or whatever!

>> My doctor's staff is aware of my mental health. If there is a wait they offer the use of a private room to do so.

The next time I suspect a long wait, I will likely ask for a quiet place where I can also find a more comfortable position for my back.

[BLUEDOVE]

Bloody good for you,there are some healing strategies these people omit from their training E.G. Compassion,Kindness,
Understanding,Humanity,Love. Quote:"I may lose many things in
my life:money,people,things,position,property.But if I lose my
dignity,my self-respect,my honour----then I am lost."
Deepest Respect,
BLUEDOVE

[leejosepho]

Update: I just received a call from the doctor's office and we have made a new appointment! The person who called was patient with me while I was considering the options she had made available, and I ultimately chose the first-on-the-list appointment at the site closer to me so I would not have far to go while it is still dark in the morning even though that location is a bit more crowded. However, she had also said a quiet place for waiting could be made available, if necessary, so I told her that would be fine and I will be there on the 11th of next month. She might have been able to get me in sooner at the distant-for-me location, but that would have required some disruption of how things are normally done there and I saw no need for me to be disruptive.

[Shazerac]

I'm so glad you have a new appointment and that they are accommodating your needs. I would be really angry and hurt if I got "fired" by my doctor for ridiculous reasons. I fire my own doctors occasionally if they make a habit of running late. My time is valuable too...dammit!

[BipolarMama31]

Good for you!!!!

My father in law told me how he "fired" one of his Dr's and it changed my perspective.
Now, i ask the desk person if they are running behind. At any place I go.
If they say no, and I wait more than 15 mins past my time, I say something again to find out how much longer. If it goes more than 30 mins, I will wait to formally "fire" that dr.

They take my money and my insurance money, I pay for a service, and if it's not up to my satisfaction, then they are "fired".

Luckily, I live in an area where I have options of other Dr's and I have great insurance. I understand not everyone has this.
It's very unfortunate the way the system is set up for certain people.

But I'm super happy that you defended yourself! And you did it in a non confrontational way, that resulted in a positive outcome.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by BipolarMama31

... And you did it in a non confrontational way, that resulted in a positive outcome.

Being here in these forums is actually helping a bit there. I used to be "fight or flight" and I have done plenty of each while at times even starting battles just to have something to do, but now the awareness of just the mere potential for disturbance brought on by confrontation is enough to motivate me to look for something that can hopefully be palatable for all.

I thank you.