How do you all keep on keeping on?

Life goes on despite ourselves some times. The sun will come up each morning. I have been dealing with depression and other bits and pieces for over 40 years now. Never thought that this would be the case ever. The secret maybe it not to do anything that will cause great pain to others. Feels like an existence not a life.

Having a dissociative disorder. Most of the time lately I am not here. Honestly I don't think anyone is really much lately
... I used to have reasons to want to be...not anymore...but we can not die..it isn't allowed...tested tried and true many times over the yrs...I won't be alive if I didn't have this ridiculous Disorder...I do not live but body stays alive..because when I can't go on anymore my MI just pulls me in puts me to sleep where I don't know that we are still here and time keeps moving we do not...

We keep going on because we have a soul.
It is difficult to explain, but the conscious, everyday self is not the only part of existence. The biggest part of life goes on unseen and un perceived. We can only glimpse our subconscious and dominant self during a great crysis or near the end of life when the soul takes over.

I think that I keep going for so many reasons - and I hate that every one of them keeps me here..
I couldn't bear the thought of a failed attempt.
I couldn't leave my nieces, or my dog like that.
It would emotionally destroy my mother.
Who's to say whats on the other side is going to be any better?
That's about it for me..

Hope.

That's what keeps me here, among the living. Though it may be frail at times, it's very hard to kill.

I have a good relationship but it is long distance. We have out regular phonecalls at set times of the day. I keep going in a large part because of my commitment to making these calls so as to prove I am okay.

Hope for a better future, lifelong learning, family and close friends.

I have to be honest and tell you I have no idea. I have been away from my (expletive) job because of a hip replacement, and I have never been happier. I will no doubt be released on the 3rd. I am dreading it because I don't want to go back. I have been so happy here at home doing "home" things. It is not that I am lazy, I have seen years where I worked three jobs. it is the place with it's unfair policies and the people who work there. I HATE their vapid gossip.

Family and loved ones.

There was a time I never gave them a thought. But since I was hospitalized I have grown closer and realise they are wanting to support and help.

Still, I have my very tough moments. Ultimately, I don't do anything because I don't want to put whomever would find me through hell (I was put in that position). That is what keepps me hanging on.

I never give up ~HOPE~

When I'm at my lowest as I am now, I pray to God, and after awhile I start to feel better. It's a miracle. I still don't feel great but I'm not suicidal. I wouldn't want to hurt my sons or my parents and friends. I hold out hope that I'm going to get better. I'm in the worse depression of my life.