[OliverB]

I am trying to push myself out of my isolation existence, I want to make friends, true friends....

and I wonder... what when I have to tell them about my MI health issues?

I don't intent to tell the first person I meet the first time... but when there is a friendship building.......

What is your experience with this? Any advice?

[Skeezyks]

Hello OliverB: I'm sorry I don't really have any advice to offer with regard to this. I live a pretty-much solitary lifestyle & I don't tell anyone about my MI issues. Kudos to you for wanting to push yourself out of your isolation though.

About the only thing I can say, with regard to telling friends about MI issues, is that it's always a toss-up. They may be supportive, they may seem supportive at first but then become distant, or they may not understand at all. And I doubt it really makes much difference when you tell them or how. It's just one of those things that you have to do if-&-when you feel comfortable doing so... & then see what happens.

Of course, as I presume you're aware, you're under no obligation to tell them anything. Only disclose as much, or as little, as you feel comfortable doing, when you feel comfortable doing it. At least these are my thoughts with regard to your post. I wish you all the best with your efforts.

[Rose76]

Some of the people you meet will have had their own experiences with mental health problems. You might find it a two way conversation.

Generally, I don't think many people want to hear very much, unless you've gotten really close with them. I've found that even close family don't want to hear much. Ask yourself how much you'ld expect people to want to hear about your gallbladder surgery. I find it's not much different with psych matters.

[amandalouise]

here in america we have privacy laws, that means no one .....has .....to tell anyone that they have mental disorders. how this relates to me and my friends... i do not tell them I have any mental illnesses. its none of their business. it doesnt matter if I have known them a short time or a life time or just meeting them... I think of my personal information like this as being the equivalent of I would not discuss my sexual preferences with my friends why would I discuss my mental illnesses with my friends. friendship doesnt depend upon whether someone is mentally ill or not, it depends on what each other likes to do together, common grounds, liking or caring about that person, its not about whether my friends have depression or anxiety or bipolar or schizophrenia and so on and so forth. what matters is with this friend we enjoy talking about our favorite movies, going to movies.... with that friend we enjoy going shopping together and talking about our children, having play dates with our children....

also in my location the police and other enforcement type agencies teach in schools and community agencies not to share that kind of information or any other information that may lead one open to hate crimes, cyber crimes and other crimes. theres nothing wrong with sharing that information just that friendships come and go and you dont know how the other person is going to use that kind of personal information if they get angry with you. you would be surprised at how childish and vindictive adults can be when friendships fall apart (just read facebook and you see lots of garbage/ drama of friendships gone wrong after short and long term where one or the other uses what they know about that persons personal information against them job wise, friendship wise, cyber wise and.... well you get the picture.)

here in america physical and mental health issues fall under ones privacy\ personal information. its even illegal for ones employer to ask whether those working for them or looking for a job have any kind of physical or mental health problems.

[eskielover]

I honestly have found that unless atopic comes up in conversation brought up by the other person, I NEVER brought it up.

That being said, I am surprised at how many of my experiences including suicide have been the topic of discussion just in passing along with PTSD & trauma experiences.

I had moved to a place where no one knew me or what all I had gone through...so as they got to know me, I was in reality getting to know my real self at the same time away from all the situations that had been the causes of my MI in the first place.

[BeaFlower]

Hi. I understand your concerns, because till now I didn't tell anyone (except my t and people here) about my problems, not even my parents or my closest friends, because I'm too embarrassed I know in theory I shouldn't be, but I am...
But sometimes I'd like that they knew about it, because they would know and understand me better. At the moment I'm not ready to tell anyone though.
Sometimes I think of it when I think about finding a possible boyfriend...I never really had one now, but if I happen to find someone I feel well with, should I tell him about my problems, and when and how?
I don't know yet...
I know that I'm adding questions instead of giving you answers However, I think that in general it would be a good idea to wait till you feel really comfortable with a person and you trust him/her before telling something so important.
If you want to have people in real life you can surely share this with, what about attending also a real life support group?
Good luck, hope you find good friends

[eskielover]

It is important to let someone you are very close with in on the information especially if marriage is in the picture. Thru have a right to know what they will be promising their life to support.

I know that Aspergers(ASD) wasn't even diagnosed before I got married but I know. That my husbands having it created serious issues in our marriage before we ever got married. Knowing what you are dealing with is a lot better that trying to figure out what is causing the issues & they have a right to know in case they honestly feel unable to commit to the issues that some MI's create in a relationship. Better to get it known up front than end up in divorce or a miserable marriage because of it. Sometimes even with love the other person knows their own limitations.

[JustJace2u]

I've been fairly open about what's been going on with me this last year or so, but it's only been recently that it's been this way. Having been in the hospital for severe SIs made me realize that I don't have to be ashamed for how I feel or why I may act the way I act at times. At this stage of my life if someone feels the need to unfriend me, then so be it.

[possum220]

Mostly I say nothing. Not many people really want to know and nor do they know how to deal with it. That's why I find here is a good place to share things.

I do talk to my pdoc. Have to say that talking to people in my real world, who do not understand mental health issues, can bring on a minefield of judgements. Although in the real world I have physical tells like stuttering or spasms that are kinda hard to hide the mental stuff that is happening in my head. Then again what they don't know wont hurt me.

I am pretty open about mine. But not with everyone. You might be surprised how accepting people can be. The right people and friends for you will be ok with it I think!

[JustJace2u]

Originally Posted by starrysky

I am pretty open about mine. But not with everyone. You might be surprised how accepting people can be. The right people and friends for you will be ok with it I think!

Agreed. I haven't told a lot of folks, but I have told those who I feel would be supportive in some way and non-judgmental.

[Unrigged64072835]

I've hardly told anyone. If the need arises I will, but I haven't had that.

[mugwort2]

I only discuss my MI issues with others with MI. That's how I do it. I only tell my family and friends. IOW People I'm comfortable with. To each their own. I'd never consider telling others of my MI.

I'm pretty open about my mental health. I've mentioned before I tend to wear it on my shirt sleeve so to speak. Some might say I am an advocate for mental health.

I tend to tell people early on; when things are still in an acquaintanceship mode. When an opportunity arises to do so I take it. For instance when people ask me more personal questions like what do I do for a living I come right out with the truth. And, I make no excuses for my bipolar or try to downplay it's effects on my life.

Generally my experiences are positive. Certainly I have made people uncomfortable but never has anyone turned their back or walked away. In fact, once the subject is on the table, many people then use the opportunity to ask questions. Often they 'have a friend' they worry about.

I do not tolerate mental illness being put down or treated as a joke; even when it is a complete stranger doing so. I have no problem advocating and trouncing upon them and setting the record straight. I am normally such a wimp a fear/avoid confrontation; however, when it comes to the subject of MI I go on the warpath.