I am starting to wonder whether or not I will ever have something positive to write on this site.I'm sorry guys, but ranting seems to help me.

Half of me just wants to give up on writing altogether, but the ranting helps a little bit.

Anyways, I don't have anything good to say. Still sick, was hoping by the 11th week I would start feeling better but no go so far.

Shawns getting really irritated with me not working, and I guess I dont really blame him. He's said he won't pay for me anymore to "sit on my a@@ at home while he works" Yes, this is EXACTLY what I do. While puking my guts up. Not to mention he hasn't exactly been the nicest lately, even going so far as to keep telling me I don't deserve a kid because I can't work right now and that I should have an A-word.Even though he KNOWS I don't agree with A-word at all(not for me, I beileve it is a personal choice but for me it just isin't right) He DID paid the rent for this month at least, but I have no idea what I am going to do for next month. I pray to god I don't have to move home to my mothers because I will DIE there. Absolutely NONE of my friends live down home anymore, so I would be just as isolated down there as I am currently not being able to be up and around. Not to mention my mother is one of my abusers from the past(physical) so she triggers me all over the place and I usually can't deal with her.

Stupid social assistance will NOT give me any money, because I still live with shawn. Even though we aren't together and he is not willing or able to support me financially, they still count his income against me. I don't know if there is a way to fight this or what. I wish i knew more, and I wish our system didn't suck nearly so much. I mean, I'm pretty much left without an option. Which sucks.

Haven't been able to make it to any of my doctors appointments due to being sick and not having a way there. Gotta get in soon thogh as I should be having my first ultrasound next week some time. Still have bloodwork to do, but right now any money I get is going to food. What little money that is, anyways.

Still trying to find a part time evening job, no sucesss as thus far. And if I want to pay rent next month, then I am going to have to have something within the next week. Don't see how that is going to happen, as I am still puking upwards of ten to fifteen times a day. I've actually lost weight in the process rather than gained it, even with the anti nauseant medication they have given me.

On any hand, things seem to just be one big disaster after another, and I just wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I mean, I know being a single mom is hard, but who would have thought it would be this hard before the baby even comes? Blah.

[Cheri]

Wow! Sorry things are so tough for you right now. You have every right to rant.

Are you taking prenatal vitamins? I know this isn't much help, but I found a site offering free samples of Promise prenatal vitamins that might help you out if you need it: freebies Maybe they have some other useful things, too.

I wish I could offer some genuine help, but I want you to know I read your story and wish you the best.

Cheri, your post is genuine help, beileve me. Just to be communicating with others who understand or at least have compassion is a major help and makes me feel not so alone and lost right now. Thank you!

EDit: Yes, my aunt bought my prenatals, the unfortunate thing is I am mostly throwing them up right now but keeping some down anyways.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( Rainbowzz ))))))))))))))

[Bethsway]

I am so sorry you are so sick...you should get back to the doctors if you can...maybe they can try another medication for nausea...((((((((((I am thinking of you))))))))))!