In one fell swoop my mother's admonishing voice in my head disappeared. Let's hope it stays that way.

It was just discovered my mom's entire story about who she was and where she came from was a lie. In fact, she was not the daughter of a woman of rank, money, and privilege afterall. Mom had us believing her own mother had left Scotland for love leaving behind aristocracy. The truth? Nah, my grandmother's father was a fruit seller.

Well mom, you may not be here but you got your comeuppance.

(This sounds horrible of me but the story and reasons are far too long and numbered to relate.)

How does this relate to my mental health?

My entire life my mother was measuring me by own successes and her demands that I be 'better than ordinary'. What will people think of me was drilled into my head. And my whole life I've had her voice running a constant commentary that I'm not good enough and that people think I'm a stupid, ugly, idiot.

I found out the astonishing news days ago, and it occurs to me I haven't heard her angry voice since.

[eyesclosed]

I think what will people think of me was more about her. It's hard growing up feeling guilty, unworthy and even how you looked. I think she had some personality problems. It's good that voice is gone and I hope it stays that way and discover your really are gifted at something's and put it behind you

Thanks eyesclosed.

You are perfectly correct. I am guessing she was either BP or PBD. I recall being terrified of her changing moods. And yes, it was more about her. If I failed at something she took it as a personal humiliation. In fact, she blamed me for having done so on purpose in order to humiliate her. for example the bullying I endured. Firstly I must have done something to have deserved it but secondly what would people say about her having an unpopular daughter? How humiliating!

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm glad to hear this! I hope you can start focus on yourself now and build a better life.

[gayleggg]

I hope you can move forward now you know the truth.

[Unrigged64072835]

I'm glad it's gone. I hope you can become better for yourself, not for your mother.

[fishin fool]

I totally understand your situation and I hope you can realize that you
are a valuable person.

[TishaBuv]

Serious messed up thinking stems from money and status.

I love how all the truths are becoming transparent these days!

Your mother must have been deep down ashamed of herself and took it out on you.

My family got caught in the lies, too. They insisted, were adamant, they were rich enough to have not come to America in Steerage. My mom found their names on the ship's registry-- Steerage.

[Marteena]

hello.. now you are feel free..and i hope now you live happily... god bless you.

yes, I do feel a sense of freedom. Since I found out this truth I haven't been so loathing of my self-worth. I haven't felt the need - or had that inner voice - that I need to be perfect. It is as though a sense within me feels relaxed.

As someone who feels trapped from stressed, I am so happy to see you are free.
May our days be brighter.

[Rainstoppedplay]

Sometimes the truth brings great relief. Glad it has for you, to realise you are enough and were always enough is a light bulb moment and a release. My mother's voice eased when I did a online quiz and realised. Mother ticked the boxes for NPD. I wasn't faulty!! Never had been!!