I was asleep earlier and I woke up because I heard my room mate crying. When I went out there and asked her what was wrong she had pills poured out on the table and she said that she had seen a movie that reminded her of how alone she was and she was feeling like she was going to kill herself. I called 911 and the housing director (we live in a halfway house of sorts) and sat with her until the ambulance came and took her to the hospital.

I'm shaken up because, what if she had done something and I had slept through it ? What if I couldn't have helped her? I'm thankful that wasn't the case but my nerves are still running wild

[childofchaos831]

I am so sorry you had to handle something like that. It does sound like you maintained your composure and calm for her when she needed you, and that is wonderful. The what-ifs will drive you crazy if you let them... it happened the way it did, you woke up in time. Even if you hadn't woken up, that would not have been your fault. I don't want to sound harsh, but she could've called someone, woken you up, or taken them. Those were her choices. And whatever choice she would've made, would've been her choice.

I know, when I attempted su, I could have called people, but didn't, because I didn't want them to stop me. I didn't want to put that on them. I also know, all of my friends would do everything they could to get me to tell them where I am and call 911, rather than try to talk me out of it themselves. They know they can't.

If someone is seriously su, and is going to do it, the only way to really stop them is to call 911, and try to stall until help gets there.

I have had friends due, by su, by accidental od and other ways, and the what-ifs will always come... I learned, over time, to accept what happens as it is, and tonight, you were there for her.

[reb569]

I've been through this twice with my daughter this past year. It's a devastating experience, and for me, as the Mom I feel very responsible, even though deep down I know I didn't cause her depression and Bipolar. The struggle continues.

Just be happy that you woke up, realized something was wrong, and took the right steps to get you're roommate help.

[Rose76]

It sounds like your roommate actually woke you up by crying loudly enough and long enough to do so. This was really a cry for help on her part. You did the right thing.

Your roommate felt alone, as she stated, and wanted an intervention. People who feel extremely despondent often believe that only the threat of imminent suicide will convey the depth of their despair to others and elicit a meaningful response. It's too bad that you can't get admitted to a psych hospital without threatening to harm yourself, but that's about what it takes.

The rationale is out there that, if you are not an imminent danger to yourself (or others,) then you can get all the help you need on an outpatient basis. Often that boils down to seeing a counselor once a week - if you're lucky. For persons in dire emotional pain, that is just not adequate support. Too bad there isn't another good option.

I think the best any of us can do is to assure very depressed individuals that they don't have to be suicidal to deserve to have their pain taken seriously. Mental health experts tell us that what starts out as a suicide "gesture" can end up accidentally succeeding.