[passionfruit3]

I did self harm today which made me realize I need to find somewhere else to live cause my mom is really stressed out taking care of me. Problem is she thinks she can handle it and doesn't want me to leave.but she gets really upset and stressed when ever I hurt myself.not to much long from now If I move as well my brother and I will be the last two kids to leave the house and my parents will probably divorce.i worry my mom will be lonely without any of her kids around.i also don't know anything about living alone and not sure how it would work cause my mom is my payee and I kind of would like it to stay that way rather that get a new one.i do the know how I'd get around either.i don't want to pay ten dollars daily to catch the disability bus how much does uber cost or what is the best and easiest way to get around were there aren't subway stations.
I'm a bit nervous moving out cause I am comfortable were i am but I know stress kills and I can not continue being a burden.

[Hobbit House]

Hello, I'd say it's time to have a serious discussion about moving with your mother. Also, are You seeing a psychiatrist or therapist? What do they think. I mean if you are still self harming you probably still need some kind of monitoring. Wishing you the best!

[MickeyCheeky]

I totally understand your worries. However, you have to do what's better for yourself (and it may be better for your mom, as well).. so please, talk with her and explain your reasoning.

The only advise I have, is to seriously consider your mood when making a decision to move away from your support system. When deeply depressed, I often think about moving away and see it as my only option to get what I want (which is usually to die without burdening anyone) I was once told not to make any major life decisions when depressed and I think that is one of the best pieces of advise I've ever received. I hope you figure out what works for you.

[reb569]

Originally Posted by passionfruit3

I did self harm today which made me realize I need to find somewhere else to live cause my mom is really stressed out taking care of me. Problem is she thinks she can handle it and doesn't want me to leave.but she gets really upset and stressed when ever I hurt myself.not to much long from now If I move as well my brother and I will be the last two kids to leave the house and my parents will probably divorce.i worry my mom will be lonely without any of her kids around.i also don't know anything about living alone and not sure how it would work cause my mom is my payee and I kind of would like it to stay that way rather that get a new one.i do the know how I'd get around either.i don't want to pay ten dollars daily to catch the disability bus how much does uber cost or what is the best and easiest way to get around were there aren't subway stations.
I'm a bit nervous moving out cause I am comfortable were i am but I know stress kills and I can not continue being a burden.

I'm writing from the view-point of a parent who's daughter is struggling with mental health, where her safety is a concern.

I don't know your Mom (obviously), but from my perspective, moving is not going to decrease her stress. She will still be worried about you. I worry constantly about my daughter, but have learned to mask it pretty well to the point I don't think she realizes how much I worry. If she moves, I will still worry. I think it makes sense to be stressed and upset when someone you love self-harms.

Anyway, I would highly recommend that you don't jump to a decision on this. Figure out what you would need to do to move. Look for places that will provide some type of mass transit or easy access to the places you go on a regular basis. Figure out how much it's going to cost you to live independently. Take your time making this decision. Work with your therapist on a plan, consider including your mother in your plan if that makes sense.

Good luck, and please, take your time with this decision.