Warning - Tough subject ahead.


I have to say there are scientific researches I greatly despise due to a moral problem. Here's an example:

"Your kid's a liar? Great! Lying is proof of intelligence in young children shows study"
Your kid's a liar? Great! Lying is proof of intelligence in young children shows study - NY Daily News

My problem with this article is that it praises lying. I know in the end it says to educate to tell the truth.
Lying is one way to create unfelt abuse towards other people, among other ways such as making fun of others to get the pleasure from laughing. Those are the kind of abuses which can lead to someone being left out negatively.

I'm on a venting rage, but I kept it as focused as I can.
It could be my problem, it could be reality's problem. But due to an angry dad during childhood, bullying at school and going to therapy and a psychiatrist over my lifetime, I'm just not willing to accept things as my problem anymore...

[AmandaBroken]

Thanks for sharing that I found it most interesting. We are all a product of our growing up.

We can either use that energy for the good of others or turn it into a rage, and accomplish nothing.

I had a different education to you. I was told to hold the truth up and over any lies.

In the end, my only disagreement with you is your last sentence. They are your problems and only you can change your future.

Amanda

Originally Posted by AmandaBroken

Thanks for sharing that I found it most interesting. We are all a product of our growing up.

We can either use that energy for the good of others or turn it into a rage, and accomplish nothing.

I had a different education to you. I was told to hold the truth up and over any lies.

In the end, my only disagreement with you is your last sentence. They are your problems and only you can change your future.

Amanda

I have so many problems... I'll write what I have to say. I've been feeling very unwell, but I am so tired of people blaming me for my problems, especially those who are supposed to be friendly.
During my coping with mild depression and relationship issues during my teen years, I've developed a tolerance to the anger of others which was not right for me. I'd never feel them well. It would take me time to "feel" anger of others, and react to them.
Those abuses are a problem, and to make them the problem of someone if he doesn't react to them is a double-attack - first the abuse, then saying it's your problem.
It's a personal problem I now have with therapy - speaking with kindness but writing your weaknesses behind-the-scenes.

I hated the fact that the whole treatment felt like a Life Support System, but of my entire life. Could never handle it on my own, people who supported me overtime transformed into people who are above me. My problem?
If I take everything negative happening to me as my problem, I could commit suicide from an overburden.

EDIT: Well, can't keep it on topic... I need help

[AmandaBroken]

May I offer you a gentle hug and a soft embrace...

Be Safe...

Ownership doesn't imply fault.

We all have problems. Sure they are OUR problems, but we didn't necessarily cause or facilitate them.

I, also am a little tired of the guilt I have to feel simply because I can't "fix" myself.

And a condescending attitude?....don't get me started....

VO, as far as the article goes....well. There probably is a study and a statistic for everything anyone wants to look for....

Originally Posted by sophiesmom

Ownership doesn't imply fault.

We all have problems. Sure they are OUR problems, but we didn't necessarily cause or facilitate them.

I, also am a little tired of the guilt I have to feel simply because I can't "fix" myself.

And a condescending attitude?....don't get me started....

VO, as far as the article goes....well. There probably is a study and a statistic for everything anyone wants to look for....

Yes, that is also true...

I once read an article about dying people who would hear hospital staff making fun of them in the distance, causing bitterness.
The article countered the negativity of making fun of them by explaining that it helps the staff cope with the hard work and that deep down they do care about their patients.

"Nurses make fun of their dying patients. That’s okay."
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opini...4c7_story.html

[*Laurie*]

I think the article is poorly written. I mean, if someone absolutely had to research the issue...

I think that what the article is trying to say is that a child that lies sometimes has sharper cognitive skills and might have an especially creative imagination. The problem is, it all depends on context. Why is the child lying? Is there a difference between 'lying' and 'making up stories'? I think there is a difference. If the child is making up stories because s/he is an imaginative child, that's one thing. But is the child lying to cover up problems in the environment? That's an entirely different thing.

All in all, seems like a silly article.

Honestly, people make lying out to be this big evil thing when in all reality, everybody lies. Think I'm wrong? Let me ask you this:

When is the last time you were having a bad day, yet when a random stranger asked you how you we're doing, you said I'm doing alright when you're not? That's just one example as to how humans are all liars to some extent.

Personally, I am a liar beyond what most are capable of and I'm not ashamed. It's a skill I had to learn at a young age to survive. I had to learn how to lie and manipulate my way out of extremely painful circumstances such as going hungry for several days,being locked up against my will by my mother, or getting beat beat up by bullies at school every day. As an adult, I seek to perfect this skill to an art form in order to get me ahead in life since after all, all of the most successful people in the world are liars and cons.

And yes, I have an IQ of roughly 130 last time I checked.

I don't lie to those I care about though and I am also honest when it benefits me.

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

Honestly, people make lying out to be this big evil thing when in all reality, everybody lies. Think I'm wrong? Let me ask you this:

When is the last time you were having a bad day, yet when a random stranger asked you how you we're doing, you said I'm doing alright when you're not? That's just one example as to how humans are all liars to some extent.

Personally, I am a liar beyond what most are capable of and I'm not ashamed. It's a skill I had to learn at a young age to survive. I had to learn how to lie and manipulate my way out of extremely painful circumstances such as going hungry for several days,being locked up against my will by my mother, or getting beat beat up by bullies at school every day. As an adult, I seek to perfect this skill to an art form in order to get me ahead in life since after all, all of the most successful people in the world are liars and cons.

And yes, I have an IQ of roughly 130 last time I checked.

I don't lie to those I care about though and I am also honest when it benefits me.

Lying to keep you safe is one thing.
Though it gets me thinking about my past best friends I had.
At times they would lecture me on subjects, mostly relationships. When I'd confront them and tell explain how I don't like it when they put me down, they would say "You're right", or "You're right, you have great experience in this". But beyond the confrontations, during regular communication, at times they would talk to me like I'm worthless and I suffered allot from it. The only reason I stayed was for the good parts. But I've been too tolerable.

When I left the last one, he'd talk with the group of friends (which I also left) saying that he doesn't understand why I left him. But I've told him enough times about his bad behavior and I gave him a summarizing reason to why I left him. He's a person who likes to put masks out of pride and ego (he literally said that in an argument), and to see others following his lies like sheep disappoints me - I tried to create independent relationship with one member of the group and he'd just take him away from me with all his ranting and the kind of "how dare you hang out with him?". He'd make said person feel that he's right and I'm wrong.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

When is the last time you were having a bad day, yet when a random stranger asked you how you we're doing, you said I'm doing alright when you're not?

I have always had trouble with things like this -- and I sometimes do say that I am not doing alright (when that is true), say 'good morning', or say nothing at all.

Originally Posted by pachyderm

I have always had trouble with things like this -- and I sometimes do say that I am not doing alright (when that is true), say 'good morning', or say nothing at all.

Same here. I also am personally annoyed by small talk and I find it draining especially since most people who randomly ask you "how are you" without knowing you really couldn't care less about your problems and are merely trying to fit in and do what's considered "socially acceptable".

To clarify about something regarding the previous post, I only seek to improve my skill at lying and manipulation in order to get ahead in business life and I don't seek to do it to people that I care about nor those like me who are simply trying to survive like I am. However, I have no moral objections to lying and cheating businesses especially these big corporations that want to horde billions of dollars while there are people out there struggling to get their next meal or to get proper medical care; the wealthy elite deserve to get screwed over anyway possible and I will do so without mercy in order to ensure that I not only survive but thrive as much as possible.

Those of us who cannot be strong must be cunning to survive since only those with some type of strength to give them an advantage over others survive in the world; not just with humans but all animals. It's a beat or be beat world and I will be the victor no matter the cost.

I'm rather (or very, if measured by IQ) intelligent and I can't lie to save my life.

[Perna]

I think the article is talking about toddlers, really young children who literally have not learned anything about what is socially correct or incorrect, just like they haven't learned correct grammar and sentence structure. If you have a child that is transparent, and tells the "truth" they are probably less aware of people around them and the subtleties of social interactions (where you can tell the difference when someone asks you, "How are you?" if it is just a greeting, where "Fine" works no matter, or if it is a genuine question of caring/interest in your life and situation and where you realize that person cares so can tell them "the truth"). It could be that they have a really great parent all the time, too, who has never reprimanded them when they should have been teaching, so they have not yet learned there can be negative social consequences for lying.

For me, it is all about learning; which isn't right or wrong or a fault. I know lots about some things and am ignorant about others that other people know lots about. Other people may judge but that's not my problem, my problem is figuring out how to learn what I want/feel I need to learn. Some truth telling abilities are genetic, part of aptitude; there's degrees of all sorts of things (like depression) the inclination or interest in being partly genetic. I was born "shy" for example, my shyness being inherited from my parents. It doesn't have to be a "problem" though as I have learned to work with it rather than let it limit me. Some people had to "stand back" during the prehistoric hunts and wars, etc. in case the bolder, more adventurous who ran out with glee got killed! It's how the species protects itself. I'm left handed. 10% of people are and have been all down through time! Why was "I" chosen? Who knows. We're a mixed bag of all sorts of stuff and we're just supposed to check out what's in the bag and how to use it to our advantage, or, if we're of a mind, to limit its expression if we decide it's a negative for us. Liars lie thinking to get or protect something for themselves. I don't like being lied to or witness what I know to be a lie so if you lie to/around me, there will probably be negative consequences for our relationship. But "How are you?"/"Fine" is not a lie to me, even if you are suicidal. If I don't know you well, we're not good friends, or I'm not on a board like this, I don't want you to tell me you're suicidal, I want you to tell someone in your life that does know you, cares, and can help you. Telling me, personally, one-on-one when I ask, "How are you?" would probably upset me since I cannot help you and I would find that an unkindness on your part?

[Onward2wards]

Just my two cents' worth - scientific research can give us extremely valuable data, but it doesn't always explain how that data can or ought to be interpreted or used. That's the difference between knowledge and wisdom.

[avlady]

i tell and have told White Lies. I'm sure all of you know about them. lucky for me if you don't. i use it as a way that makes me get out of situations i don't want to do or be a part of, good and bad. I am a liar

[Fuzzybear]

"Deceit within relationships"

This bear was the "product" of a "King of Liars"

But I was not his "little Princess" - they did not understand nor respect bears

Originally Posted by Onward2wards

Just my two cents' worth - scientific research can give us extremely valuable data, but it doesn't always explain how that data can or ought to be interpreted or used. That's the difference between knowledge and wisdom.

Every knowledge and intelligence is merely a tool.
I assume the executions are more dependent on our natures