[never. happy]

So I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety about a yr ago, but then had to stop seeing the psychiatrist after the 2nd session because my dad didn't think i needed it( confident he could fix it). I diluted and stopped my medication over 3 months to reduce withdrawal. Im doing my final year in engineering in India and now i have to complete a project due in less than a week, and my semester exams plus my 11 supplementary xams start may 15th. I had a quarrel with of my team mates( team lead unfortunately) and it ended with him grabbing my throat. I didn't agree with him as he was saying that i was wrong and lying, which i strongly feel and know i wasn't. I spent a lot of energy keeping myself from crying. I also did a lot of walking. This happened yesterday. Yesterday, i slept like a baby and today, i feel restless and tired at same time. I had to go outside or do something or the other, otherwise i thought i would lose it and start crying or something. My body also hurts. Ive posted previously here if you want to know more about me to judge better. HELP. PLEASE. I'm at real crisis

[Skeezyks]

Hello never.happy: I did look back at a few of your previous posts. You know... I've been struggling with mental health issues for a very long time. (I'm 68 years old!) My school years were a real comedy of errors. It's a wonder I finally made it through to the end.

I was struck by your comment about your dad not thinking you need the medication you were on. I also recalled some of what you wrote previously about how you are treated versus your sister. The thing I want to tell you is that, it has been my experience you have to do what you have to do to take care of yourself... whatever that is... be it medication, counseling or therapy, or other changes in your life that will help you to feel you are living as close to the life you want to live as possible. You simply cannot allow others, including family, to decide what is & isn't right for you. That is a prescription for ongoing frustration & unhappiness.

One of the problems I've had throughout my life was that I always tried to live the life other people wanted me to live... to be the person who played whatever role in their lives they wanted me to play, if that makes any sense. And in the process, I screwed everything up royally. It was, to a large extent, my own fault. I was never a brave person.

From what you've written, it sounds as though some counseling or mental health therapy would be a good idea for you at the moment. If there is a student counseling center at the school you attend, perhaps that would be a place to start. I know you are in India. So I don't know how these sorts of things work there. And in conjunction with counseling or therapy, if you feel the med's you were on were helpful then perhaps get back on them.

I don't know how long you were on the med's you were on. I suppose it's possible one of the things that is contributing to how you feel is that you are still adjusting to being off of the med's you were taking... that plus all of the stress of the project you need to complete & the exams that are coming up soon. You clearly have a lot on your plate at the moment. You're simply going to have to be strong enough to stick up for yourself & do what needs to be done. There are no magic solutions here... just a firm commitment & determination on your part to do what you feel you have to do in order to heal. I wish you well...