[Jellyfish18]

There is a bad situation back home, bordering or there with abuse and neglect. Being violently ignored, shown no respect as a human being, learnt nothing about normal relationships and how they proceed.
The person is a young adult, left entirely by themselves. They went through school where people were put together daily and had no choice but to spend time together. Now they act friendly, they talk, etc., they don't have trouble with anxiety etc. but they cannot really build long-term meaningful relationships or feel close to people. They have trouble talking or keeping conversations going. Keeping to ask questions just does not lead anywhere. They can't hold conversations for more than a certain short time, for example, and feel very alone and alienated. Still they are left to fend for themselves since early age, despite actual relationship difficulties and being left alone. They feel like they have a lot to give but feel stunted. They feel lonely and like something is missing. Like if they were old, they would have no one to call. They spend their days in bed, sleeping and on internet but they are not depressed. They can feel worse if they work and see they cannot build meaningful relationships. Sometimes the more they work, more alienated they feel, strangely. Sometimes they would rather go home than vegetate like that and be on their own but that is harmful. They just don't know how to bring the other person closer or get to know them. Therapists are not really helpful, home they are left hanging by themselves (not answered to, cold unrelated responses, etc.). Psychiatrists mainly give pills. Social coaches do not see them as they go about their day so they could tell what they are doing wrong. They feel separated all the time. They cannot live this way anymore as it is not a life.
So, what would you do in this case? Where and who could help? What can be done so they can live a fulfilling life?
Thank you for any good advice.

[Crazy Hitch]

What is this person's diagnosis (if it's not you that you've written about). I ask as there are different therapies / treatments for different types of diagnosis and perhaps the right therapy approach hasn't been tried yet.

[Jellyfish18]

Well none yet officially ... different therapists have different opinions and they don't even have separate "approaches" for different issues. Just generic therapy. This can't be right?

[Sunflower123]

Has this person been evaluated by a psychiatrist? A psychiatrist would be the one to come up with a proper diagnosis. Without that, I would think targeted therapy would be difficult.

[Rose76]

You figured out your family of origin hasn't got much they can or will offer you. So no use looking for satisfaction there.

Who supports you? Or do you support yourself?

When you come from a bad home situation, the main thing to do is to get out of it. That means you got to get trained for some kind of job that will provide you an income to live off of. Solving the problems of getting educated/ trained and employed will indirectly enlighten you about relationships. That's what most of the people in the world are busy doing. If you're not concerned with those things then you're not going to have much in common with most people.

[Sassandclass]

Originally Posted by Jellyfish18

There is a bad situation back home, bordering or there with abuse and neglect. Being violently ignored, shown no respect as a human being, learnt nothing about normal relationships and how they proceed.
The person is a young adult, left entirely by themselves. They went through school where people were put together daily and had no choice but to spend time together. Now they act friendly, they talk, etc., they don't have trouble with anxiety etc. but they cannot really build long-term meaningful relationships or feel close to people. They have trouble talking or keeping conversations going. Keeping to ask questions just does not lead anywhere. They can't hold conversations for more than a certain short time, for example, and feel very alone and alienated. Still they are left to fend for themselves since early age, despite actual relationship difficulties and being left alone. They feel like they have a lot to give but feel stunted. They feel lonely and like something is missing. Like if they were old, they would have no one to call. They spend their days in bed, sleeping and on internet but they are not depressed. They can feel worse if they work and see they cannot build meaningful relationships. Sometimes the more they work, more alienated they feel, strangely. Sometimes they would rather go home than vegetate like that and be on their own but that is harmful. They just don't know how to bring the other person closer or get to know them. Therapists are not really helpful, home they are left hanging by themselves (not answered to, cold unrelated responses, etc.). Psychiatrists mainly give pills. Social coaches do not see them as they go about their day so they could tell what they are doing wrong. They feel separated all the time. They cannot live this way anymore as it is not a life.
So, what would you do in this case? Where and who could help? What can be done so they can live a fulfilling life?
Thank you for any good advice.

I agree with Jennifer. Talking to a trained professional would be the best path right now. They have the knowledge to give a proper diagnosis and also suggest methods of therapy.

Also, this person may look into group therapy. This is a way to be social and work on starting and maintaining conversations etc. while also being open and truly being who you are. It also helps to know the others in the group are going through something difficult, so that helps to connect with them in a way.

[Rose76]

Jelly, I think a fair answer to what I think is your main question is that what you are seeking, in terms of help, probably doesn't exist. This is why "therapy" has been so frustrating for you.

Becoming socialized to where a person is at ease in connecting with others is like learning a language. You picked up English as a child. You just soaked it in, without having to really think hard about it. If you were to try, as an adult, to learn a second language, you would have to put in an enormous amount of work to do that. Even then, unless you went and lived in a place where everyone spoke that language, learning it would be awfully hard. You could take high school and college courses, but that would be frustratingly slow. Same with learning socialization. To try and sit someone down and "teach" them how to socialize is about as hard as teaching someone a second language. You sure can't learn either by showing up at some professional's office to be given "tips."

You basically have to teach yourself. I admit that's hard.