[Citrine]

It took alot for me to face my Dr. She was new and Id not been in forever. Tbh and Im not judging anyone but me...I was ashamed of myself for yet again succumbing to my malfunctioning mind. Its ok for everyone except me I am my biggest critic. I set standards for myself not a soul on earth can achieve

So 1st( less than a month ago) visit yep great. Straight on with the referral, meds option, sicknote tailored for me so I could still go to work but I chose less hours. 2nd yep again more advice more lowered hrs note and help and a wellbeing advisor allocated. 3rd visit (not preplanned but in a slot) and she was totally different. I had had a panic attack in work due to a work colleague taking a drink fuelled fit at me. I said I think I need to be out of there for a while. She told me that being signed off cant happen indefinitely that I must make plans I must be prepared for my work dismissing me. She admitted she had been harsh but said she had to do her job. OMG!

In an unsafe world where I trust no one at the moment and hate myself, my paranoia is 3/10 I dont need this ****. Omg I was deflated. The only person I thought was safe. Was not up to no good. It came to me (and heres the paranoia-get ready for it) that Id gone to work and one of my supervisors had handled my sicknote, Though his wife has retired from the medical reception world its not impossible she wont know my Dr. I remembered hed read the note and asked me the name as the signature was a squiggle.

So in Citrines world Dr has gone funny coz some snake guy that shes never really got on with has had a chat to his wife and her a chat to the Dr. is that possible? Yes Im para, yes Im overthinking, yes fragile. But it is not impossible?

What can I do to regain trust in her?/ I wont see her now for a while. I start with the 2 other avenues which I was soo looking forward to. Now Im cynical about them. At least I will double the glum. Glum as I am + glum about them- great way to start.

Typo=disappointed oops sorry

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you had that experience. I would either try to talk it out with your pdoc or switch to another pdoc who will work with you. Good luck and best wishes.