Please don't ask me why I'm short, quiet, or walk the way I do.

Yeah, those kinds of questions / comments are just rude.

[Travelinglady]

It depends on who asks and the tone they ask in, but they can sure be annoying!

[Sunflower123]

I agree with Travelinglady.

I usually just respond "because I can" in a stern voice. If they keep bugging me, I proceed to say "if you have a problem with it than leave me the hell alone".

Thankfully, most people get the hint after the first part because I apparently have quite the ability to become intimidating when I want to or need to be lol.

[TheDragon]

I love the title to this thread lol

Those questions are very rude. Rhetorical questions are fine, rude ones are not.

How do you deal with them? Do you have a prepared answer to shut down the conversation?

If someone asked why I was short (I am, but no one asks) I would probably say "I'm genetically meant to be this way". For the others "I am quiet because I only speak when I have something to say" and "I walk this way because it's my biomechanics". Perhaps these people are just not very clever and need things explaining simply to them.

Originally Posted by TheDragon

I love the title to this thread lol

Don't ask Mari why she's so cute. Just don't.

[Olanza-what?]

Pending my mood, questions in general can tick me off and it certainly depends on who's asking. A few of my doctors, my boss, husband and family really know how to rub me the wrong way. I forewarn them that they are not going to get a genie.

I find that they tend to ask the same questions over just minutes apart..."are you sure you're okay? and it really ticks me off. It seems that when people know you have mental illness they try to figure out where your head is and so they tip toe around you and ask stupid questions to either see what kind of mood you are in or if you are ready to totally flip out.

It would be so much easier for all involved if the questioner would just ask "are you in a good/bad mood", and accept your response and move on.

[yagr]

Originally Posted by iPhone

Please don't ask me why I'm short, quiet, or walk the way I do.

Why are you so short?
It makes it easier to hit you in the privates.

Why are you so quiet?
I'm setting an example for you.

Why do you walk the way you do?
Well...I'm a guy, if they asked me I'd probably tell them it's because my package is so big.

But then, I'm a smart-aleck.

Originally Posted by Olanza-what?

..."are you sure you're okay?

I probably get asked this multiple times per day...I'm a thinker so I'm usually deep in thought and maybe my facial expression looks like there's something wrong. The first time someone asks, I assume they're just being nice and tell them I'm fine. Then when they keep digging and digging it's like they WANT to push me over the edge. I was fine, but now I'm not.

The other thing is when people (it's usually men, just pointing out the statistics, no offense to men here) tell me to smile. Maybe there's nothing at that moment to smile about and I don't see why I should fake my emotions just to satisfy you. Just because I'm not smiling doesn't mean something is horribly wrong. I'm not thrilled, not depressed. I'm just OKAY. And that should be OKAY.

Finally, in relation to what I just said (I know those weren't really questions but still annoying remarks from people)... when I was getting my picture taken for my permit the lady told me to smile with my teeth instead of just my lips like I was doing. I had to explain to her that my teeth are messed up...which was embarrassing as hell.

[lowpoint]

You're right. Just experienced one first hand... it is indeed annoying, albeit I had to cover my face - I was about to burst out laughing.

[lowpoint]

Originally Posted by iPhone

I probably get asked this multiple times per day...I'm a thinker so I'm usually deep in thought and maybe my facial expression looks like there's something wrong. The first time someone asks, I assume they're just being nice and tell them I'm fine. Then when they keep digging and digging it's like they WANT to push me over the edge. I was fine, but now I'm not.

The other thing is when people (it's usually men, just pointing out the statistics, no offense to men here) tell me to smile. Maybe there's nothing at that moment to smile about and I don't see why I should fake my emotions just to satisfy you. Just because I'm not smiling doesn't mean something is horribly wrong. I'm not thrilled, not depressed. I'm just OKAY. And that should be OKAY.

Finally, in relation to what I just said (I know those weren't really questions but still annoying remarks from people)... when I was getting my picture taken for my permit the lady told me to smile with my teeth instead of just my lips like I was doing. I had to explain to her that my teeth are messed up...which was embarrassing as hell.

-Smile, sweetheart!
-Look how I smile.-Proceeds to kick him in the crotch.-That's my feet laughing.-She concludes.

[lowpoint]

What's that cartoon about, by the way? Looks neat.

[Artchic528]

Bob's Burgers...it's about a guy named Bob who owns a burger joint near a beachside boardwalk and lives with his quirky, sometimes psychotic, family above it in a small apartment. Hilarity ensues in each episode. I should also mention it's raited PG-13, and is one of those cartoons geared toward a more adult audience, though the term "adult" can be used at your discretion.

In all honesty, it's not a bad cartoon. I've seen a few episodes.

I know this isn't rhetorical, or a question, or my thread. But strangers have sometimes commented on my facial expression saying "You look scared." I really want to say back "That's rude." I don't know what to say though that would be appropriate. It happened at the grocery store once. The clerk said it, and it embarrassed me. She didn't seem particularly concerned. I was thinking of somethings at the time, and have a little anxiety socially sometimes. Is it ok to tell them they are being rude?

[TishaBuv]

It happens to me, too. I'm just minding my own business, and my h asks "What's wrong?" I must have RBF (resting bi*ch face!)

In my experience "Smile darling" and other such interjections from random men in the street is subtext for "Look at me I need attention"... It's usually a clumsy half baked chat up line (I have never experienced it from a woman), I'd say if it's from a stranger it's fine to ignore it - other reactions I've given have included a fake cheesy grin or a glare depending on my mood. It's darn right rude to talk to a stranger like that so it's a justified response IMO.

In my experience these things didn't happen to me once I got older, adding to my theory they are just half baked chat up lines.

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Bob's Burgers...it's about a guy named Bob who owns a burger joint near a beachside boardwalk and lives with his quirky, sometimes psychotic, family above it in a small apartment. Hilarity ensues in each episode. I should also mention it's raited PG-13, and is one of those cartoons geared toward a more adult audience, though the term "adult" can be used at your discretion.

In all honesty, it's not a bad cartoon. I've seen a few episodes.

Yep Bob is awesome, you should watch sometime !

Originally Posted by starrysky

I know this isn't rhetorical, or a question, or my thread. But strangers have sometimes commented on my facial expression saying "You look scared." I really want to say back "That's rude." I don't know what to say though that would be appropriate. It happened at the grocery store once. The clerk said it, and it embarrassed me. She didn't seem particularly concerned. I was thinking of somethings at the time, and have a little anxiety socially sometimes. Is it ok to tell them they are being rude?

I would. A guy on the bus said that to me once...I told him I wasn't scared of **** and that was the end of it. I don't even think I was having anxiety at that moment. I was just minding my own business, looking at the window.

THIS is why I bury myself in my phone.

[Artchic528]

I get told to smile more times than I can count. It always makes me wonder if I scowl without meaning to or something. I mean, if I had a dollar for every time I was told that...

[Apollite]

Originally Posted by prefabsprout

In my experience "Smile darling" and other such interjections from random men in the street is subtext for "Look at me I need attention"... It's usually a clumsy half baked chat up line (I have never experienced it from a woman), I'd say if it's from a stranger it's fine to ignore it - other reactions I've given have included a fake cheesy grin or a glare depending on my mood. It's darn right rude to talk to a stranger like that so it's a justified response IMO.

When I was in my teens and twenties that would often happen to me but I always thought the men were simply being rude as opposed to chatting me up. I've always been intimidated by men so I thought that if I avoided eye contact with them and didn't smile, they wouldn't have a reason to talk to me. I was wrong obviously, because my indifference towards them would only attract negative attention.

Even in these modern times women are encouraged to be receptive to men and to take care of their needs, whatever they may be, and women who aren't smiley, approachable or "fun loving" are treated with disdain.

I'm not so sure these are rhetorical questions. By definition a rhetorical question is one asked where the answer is obvious. For example, "Is the Pope catholic?" "Do fish swim?" Such questions move conversations along and I think we are confusing them with acts of obnoxiousness.

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I'm not so sure these are rhetorical questions. By definition a rhetorical question is one asked where the answer is obvious. For example, "Is the Pope catholic?" "Do fish swim?" Such questions move conversations along and I think we are confusing them with acts of obnoxiousness.

The answer is obvious to all of them: I just am. There's usually not a medical reason for someone being short, it's genetics.

What if I asked someone why they had brown hair ?