I'm done trying to be a decent person when there are easier ways to get by.

I echo this. There ARE some people and some members here who are nice and who are nice in that way.

I have not had enough useful and kind feedback in my life either ... and I don't expect this post to be acknowledged - I don't have much to add here

Regards

DIMF, you mention being a full time college student. How about seeing if your school offers free counseling? Many do.

I've seen the student therapist there a few times and it isn't enough. She won't start me on an actual treatment plan. I just go there to vent and it helps a little but I can't get any long term help from there.

Even if I could get actual treatment from her, I am a difficult person to work with and I will need somebody with a specific personality and way of doing things or else I won't listen to them and do things my own way like always. That's just how I am personality wise.

Not that it matters anyways.

I'm sorry your life is shitti right now, mine is too. Maybe that's why I haven't been as good a friend as I could be. My world is crumbling to dust and I'm desperately trying to hold it together. Sorry I can't be a better friend.

I hear ya Artchic. I don't feel I've been a good friend to him either. Both bc of just immense stress going on n bc I am so busy all the time lately.

I'm sorry too Darkness. I know I keep saying that, but I honestly just can't figure out when things will relax a bit. I do check the forums when I come online for your postings though.

*hugs*

If anybody has been a bad friend, it's me.

Until making this thread, I honestly had no idea people cared about me that much here. I thought that maybe people here pretended to care to try to make me feel better or to get me to shut up or something. I figured that if I left, people would just go on like nothing happened.

It's clear that I'm wrong. I honestly had no idea what I had here. I'm sorry that I'm such a bad friend.

You aren't a bad friend or bad person. We all get "down in the dumps" sometimes n when we do it seems like nobody else cares either.

Glad you know differently now though.
*hugs*

I care for you too "DarknessismyFriend" That sucks your therapist refuses to put you on a treatment plan. I get the impression you can't go to a different one. OTOH Hope I'm wrong here. Not everyone can learn to drive. I did get my license but its been over ten years since I drove. I feel quite anxious about driving. I still keep my license for ID. You're not a bad friend. I can see and I think I understand your frustration. Been there.

Thanks.

Until I get a license and a car, seeing another therapist is out of reach for me due to transportation issues. I am dependent on public transportation right now. Because of how long the buses take to get me anywhere, I have to factor in an extra 3-4 hours a day just to get to and from school and work. It would be impossible for me to get to a therapist every week until I start driving.

I'm going to learn how to drive and get my license no matter what. I have no choice because I can't keep dealing with these buses. I am stuck living somewhere with terrible public transportation because it isn't financially feasible for me to move somewhere with better public transportation due to how low the cost of living is here.

I will suck it up and keep trying until I either succeed or die trying. Nothing else is good enough.

Hi, Dark.

I just wanted to let you know I DO care about you and I always read your posts. I hope you keep posting and about whatever you want, however many times, if it matters to you then it matters! *hugs*

I've been wearing black since I was 14 years old. I feel best in black and say sod the masses! XD

Here for you and want you to know that. I'm introverted so I'm sorry for reading mainly and not replying. But do know I care. You are part of this community and I am GLAD you're here. xo