A point of view on compliments

"Whatever people do, feel, think or say, don't take it personally. If they tell you how wonderful you are, they are not saying that because of you. You know you are wonderful. It is not necessary to believe other people who tell you that you are wonderful"

What do you think of this quote?

Take care,
Fuzzy

I am going to start off by saying in my 28 years in life, I never took a compliment as what it was supposed to be.. Ever!!!!! ]=

Telling someone they are wonderfull could mean many differnt things, and when you say it, you could mean something differnt..
When I tell you Fuzzy, you are a wonderful person I mean that you are a very understanding person, and that you have been a wonderful freind to me, and yes we have had our ups and downs but we still understand each other

Meanings of words can mean a many differnt things for others but it is a wonderful Quote

It has taken a great deal of thearpy and a great deal of work from my boyfriend to get me to understand that I am beautiful, and a special person..
Someone being able to take them as they are is one thing, but then takeing them and understanding them is something totally differnt

I have had problems with this since I was 13 years old.. Which over the next few weeks I will let some of you in on what is going on.. Just not complety ready for the whole "open up" ok ..

<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

I've never taken it personally simply because I don't believe them - I fail to ever see how they could say such nice things to me.

Believing in yourself first will pave the way to believing what others say. That's my main issue I suppose.


<font color=blue>IThe key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance - and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning.
Oprah Winfrey (1954 - ), O Magazine, September 2002<font color=blue>

In a way, I'm sorry to hear that the rest of you don't believe the people that give you compliments and see strengths in you that you don't see. Someone told me once that if I sluff off a compliments, I might as well be calling that person a liar. When I heard that, of course I countered with "Well, you tell me that because you have to. I pay you to say that." YIKES! Did I encur the wrath of that person! When she came off her high horse, she explained that others see many strengths and virtues that we don't know we have or that as children, we were taught to believe that we were worthless... like me! She suggested very strongly that first of all, I need to say "thank you" when I'm given any kind of a positive statement about myself. The process to internalize the positive is a long and difficult one. Somehow, though, we have to find a way to let it sink in to our very core. I've often said that I wish I had a magic mirror that someone could stand me in front of and what I would see is the reflextion of what the other person sees in me. Alas! There is no such mirror.

Sometimes, I feel as if I am fishing for compliments when someone says something nice to or about me. I want to say "Realy???? Tell me more! Tell me over and over again until I can believe it!" Only thing is, one person will get tired of telling you, so instead, you have to be open to compliments from everybody you come in contact with. You'll soon learn to tell the difference between a true compliment and a fake one.

Somewhere on this board there are several postings of the article that I got handed when I told my T that she was paid to be nice. It's called "Beauty is in the 'I'. " Just like you can shut out a negative statement, you can invite the positive statements into your "boundary."

Hmmm... gotta go read that again.




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

PS Did I happen to mention that I think all of you are wonderful friends? And did I tell you I'm so lucky to have you all as "family"? Did I hear a "really"? The answer is "yes" and "yes"!!





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

((((((((((((((((Hugs to all))))))))))))))))

Love,
Fuzzy

I guess to be honest the compliments I often have trouble with are those from total or very near total strangers ... just like I have trouble with negative judgements from those types of people. Grrrrr ..... shut up Fuzzy
xoxoxoxox

LOL! No! Don't shut up! Get it out there, Hun!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Fuzzy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Well, the honest truth is that if someone says something negative about me, I completely believe them. If they compliment me, I figure it's B.S. Now, of course, I know that's irrational, and illogical, and even a wee bit pathetic, but it's truthful! I guess I gotta work on the self-image a bit more....ugh.

[getting out the image polish and soft cloth]

I looked and looked and could not find the article you referred to - could you post it again.

Funny how much alike we all are. I tend to look at compliments as if the person was preparing to manipulate me. I told my therapist the same thing basically but since she is also my daughter's therapist, I knew she liked me and thought well of me before I started seeing her for myself. In a way that made it harder cos I had something to lose. I amazed that she still seems to like me.

~D~

Hey Fuzzy!

Cool how you notice that when people compliment, they are not really refferring to you.

Its a step in the growing direction.

People are egocentric, and fixated on their own agendas, dont matter how wonderful you are, any positive comments your way are just by-products of their own journey.

Dont take it to heart, they dont mean to make you feel good, its just business.

Thats as real as I can be for this time of night eh? Cool..

Good Njiight.

Ooooh, no, no, no... I don't like that answer...

Maybe some people, the phoneys, are like that, but you can pick them out in a crowd.






<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Hey there! I agree that can be true for some people, but not for all, fortunately! My brain is mushy today, or I would write more, but thanks for sharing your opinion!

But as I said above, from people who really don't know me at all (not here) .... both compliments and insults are fairly meaningless I am working on putting all insults and negative comments from so called experts in the trash can anyway

Take care,
Fuzzy