I'm a prophet!

In my mid-teens I wrote a story, which was fantastical, but the main character was very much based on myself, except a lot older. I gave the story to my aunt to read. My aunt either was a psychology student or had somewhat recently graduated. She criticized the writing of the main character as unrealistic, because it's unlikely that a person could remain so helpless, submissive, etc. I guess maybe she saw that I was writing myself and wanted to encourage me... But, here I am, more than a decade later. And in many respects I've turned out exactly the way I predicted. Aside from supernatural powers... You could say it's self-fulfilling prophecy, but I sure didn't want to be this way, nor have I really thought about this story more than as a piece of fiction. I mean, it still is just that, but I think it's remarkable how right I was, compared to my aunt (at least according to her words)... I guess, though, I'm supposed to know myself better than an aunt that I'd see once in a couple of years.

Ah, but can you see in to the future??

I hope not... Otherwise the future is very bleak. Although I don't see any reason why my predictive ability with respect to myself should have declined. I'm still the top expert in this field... In this case, I probably should drop absolutely everything I'm doing and walk barefoot to Tibet, or something, to absolutely make sure that the doom that awaits me is thwarted.

You have a sense of humor, that's good! You don't know what the future holds. Self- sabotage is one thing, depression is tough, I know. Things can and do change! Your Aunt might be proved correct, the story continues...

I mean, she's already proved wrong. I do think I'm about the age the character was supposed to be, and he actually had more going on than I do, putting aside supernatural powers... Although, I guess all that was due to often unlucky accidents, such as bumping into a person, which is obviously not something I can prevent.

...I've got no intention to bump into people on purpose all the time, I say!

...Although I guess I always do, except on the Internet, where it generally doesn't mean anything.

I agree that self-fulfilling prophecy may be a big part of it.

As far as I can think, that's the only story I've ever written that approaches auto-biographical. And at best one of only few in the first person. It kind of raises the question if I must write a new, affirming story to "break the spell". But it's not that simple. That story was an honest perception of me at that moment (and of my future). Whereas a more positive one would be a lie. That is to say, it won't reflect me close at all, and in that sense won't be as... immersive, or "enchanting" if you like.

And there's also the aspect of escapism, working on an imaginary life instead of the real one. Just as I get an urge from time to time to turn the Sims on to create a clone of myself in whose life everything turns out okay (hopefully). Whereas I could be working on actual skills (while anticipating the doom and gloom of my current predictions of my future).

Sounds like the butterfly effect..