I wasn't sure where exactly to post this. Lately I've been having what I consider intense paranoia. It started with my T. She allows me as well as all her clients to e-mail her. I didn't get e-mails back, so I thought she hates me. We've since went over how she can't always respond for a few reasons, all sensible.

Still, I worry, she hates me she hates me. I'm also having paranoia about ppl, I'm always thinking they are looking at me or talkling about me.....its really bad I'm always looking around...

Another is friendships I'm always thinking there is a conspiracy going on behind me, and they are leading me into it and going to hurt me.......

This as I said is intense for me......I've never been diagnosed with anything paranoia related before...but in the past month its gotten way bad.......any comments are appreciated...

luv
Dustin

[Perna]

If you "know" you're paranoid, just use your good logic (like you are) and "ignore" it. Your T does not hate you or she wouldn't see you/be your T, it's that simple. So, whenever you have the thought she hates you, tell yourself it isn't true.

The conspiracy thing is a little harder. I use to think people were talking about me at work :-) But think of that logically too; why would people be talking/conspiring about you? What makes you so "special" that people have nothing better to do than concentrate on you? And "conspiring" isn't very exact a word; exactly what are they planning, going to hurt you how? Call your imagination on using inexact words and ideas! Make it work hard and it will decide that's no fun and the bad thoughts/feelings will disappear or be manageable. Even if people were to be conspiring or talking about you, etc., what could you do about it? If people are talking about me behind my back, they're "allowed" to -- it doesn't have anything to do with "me" because I'm not involved. So, there's no point in thinking about it? It's like anxiety and being afraid something scary is going to happen. It hasn't yet so there's nothing to deal with yet so no "point" in worrying about it.

[nowheretorun]

i agree with perna, in all liklihood no one is out to get you moonkin, unless you've joined an underground spy ring or something, there's probably nothing to worry about...

the thing is though, for some it is natural to fear what others think of or about them and it's even normal to fear that groups of people, particularly when you're a teen, are plotting "something"... maybe as harmeless as keeping you in the dark about a private party or something... what a surprise it would be though if the party was planned in your honor and the "secret" was in your best interest...

but probably best not to unscrew yourself with the unklnowns... stick with the knowns, your special talents, abilities... in your case your insight, your retrospection, your analyzation abilities... try to focus on what will have a positive outcome for you... doing otherwise will net you exactly what you fear it will...

[DePressMe]

Hey, I have problems with thinking people are always looking at me or talking about me. Its hard to deal with sometimes. Although is does seem like a form of paranoia, it is more related to my social anxiety. I try to tell myself that people have better things to do than talk about me--I am not the center of attention.

When I think my T does not like me or have problems like yours with friends, it is from my insecurities. I feel insecure in the relationships--worried that I am going to be left--abandonment issues related to thoughts like--who would want to be my friend?--who would ever like me? This comes from problems with my self esteem and self image.

So, when I am having thoughts that seem paranoid, its not some type of mental illness or anything bad. Its me needing to work on issues such as self esteem and anxiety.

So, try, if you can, to keep this all in perspective...maybe it is not as bad as you think. Although I am not--in any way whatsoever, minimizing your feelings. Its just what I have been through and what I figured out about it.

HUG!

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nowheretorun said:
i agree with perna, in all liklihood no one is out to get you moonkin, unless you've joined an underground spy ring or something, there's probably nothing to worry about...

the thing is though, for some it is natural to fear what others think of or about them and it's even normal to fear that groups of people, particularly when you're a teen, are plotting "something"... maybe as harmeless as keeping you in the dark about a private party or something... what a surprise it would be though if the party was planned in your honor and the "secret" was in your best interest...

but probably best not to unscrew yourself with the unklnowns... stick with the knowns, your special talents, abilities... in your case your insight, your retrospection, your analyzation abilities... try to focus on what will have a positive outcome for you... doing otherwise will net you exactly what you fear it will...

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Thank you all for the repliess...

Yes I agree, I dont think anyone is out to get me. That kinda conerns me even more so, because that means these thoughts are truley made up, and I dont know how they got here. See what I mean? My paranoia is fiction...but scariy none the less...I'm so scared...for myself now...

ty again

[nowheretorun]

moonkin, your self honesty and ability to cognize your feelings are really going to be an asset for you... DePressMe makes some excellent points regarding self-esteem and anxiety.. and if i did in any way minimize your feelings, i'm sorry...

self-esteem and anxiety were severe issues for me also during my worse years and i do still work on them... depressme says these feelings of paranoia could be related and i think it is wise to see them as "flags" that there is some issue needing attention... it doesn't necessarily follow that there is a problem with your mind though...

do you experience difficulty in social settings? do you doubt yourself or feel that others doubt the value of your offerings, be they vocal or other? do you believe yourself? do you feel made fun of and mocked? if this is the case then what depressme is saying is that there are ways to build self-esteem and there is a forum especially for that here at pc.

in my response i attempted to downplay your fear that paranoia may be becoming a relevant factor in your day to day existence. like depression i think that we all drift toward the periphery from time to time but unless it really is a serious problem, we are able to see the illusions we are self creating and return to our normal levels of curosity about what others think of us...

some things to consider is all...

i've smoked too many cigs today and my brain feels like fried eggs right now... i have a special caring for you moonkin... in some ways i see myself in you at your age... don't fear feeling all things a little bit, but be careful what you let your mind linger on... some pandora's boxes should be left closed for good reason... and in contrast, explore this world, some paths are rose gardens...