This is the oddest thing! Its hurts so bad! For a long time now any mention or alcohol, or drugs, and sometimes sex gets me upset in a way that is horrible. For example I've been in chat rooms ( not PC chats ) and ppl start talking about beer they enjoy, or about getting drink or high, or about what parts of sex they like. WHen this happens my heart beats really fast and I get teary eyed. Usually I start crying like I am now. I've told my T, she doesnt really know waht to say to it mostly beacuse its not exactly somethin ppl go through. It hurts so bad, and sometimes i've told these ppl who are friends I cant stay, and I feel akward.

I have no thing against ppl who do these things, nor have I been around family who abused these things so I have no idea why they upset me....

Yet...in the back of my mind, I wish I did those things, I'm 17, I've never been rebellious to underage drink, to have premarrel sex, or to get a buzz, I've had no escape, with the exception of PC.......other then that my room is where i stay alone....

[mel4]

hey dustin,

i know exactly what you're talking about. I used to be the same way, i would get depressed at the mention of alcohol/drugs.....i believe it was because i felt stupid and "left out" for not drinking/doing drugs....yup, when i look back, i realize how terrible it sounds, but thats how i felt. one is perfectly "cool" if they dont take part in that stuff....in fact, its even cooler to not do that stuff, particularly if its for the wrong reason. dont feel ashamed for not doing stuff like that, my emotions led me into a great deal of trouble as i felt obligated to try these things......they left me in a ****** place, and its just not worth it.

take care dusty,
melissa

dustin.....we all want to fit in somewhere.....in late high school and early college i went the drug route myself but found out very quickly that tha route is not good.....and those folks i wanted to fit in with?.......now they are mostly down and out, addicts or dead.......there are good ways to fit in.....fitness clubs, church etc.......and of course you have us at pc who love you.....love julia