[squiddinkk]

to start off, I don’t have Daddy issues. I come from a good home with a dad that’s treated me and my sisters well yet somethings always been off with me. I’m not entirely interested in guys my age. I’ve dated only guys my age, but I haven’t really been into them. I’m young and i’m not talking about guys younger then me, but guys older than me. Men. I hate whatever is going on with me, and it’s been this way forever. It could be a self esteem issue because i’ve caught myself thinking ‘you don’t look good until someone hits on you’. But I actively try to get attention from older guys, one time even a teacher. And by older I should probably clarify that I mean like 20’s to early 30’s. Is there something wrong with me? Why can’t I like guys my age? Why must I chase ones I can’t get to?

[Shazerac]

Welcome to psych central

I don’t know that there is anything wrong with you. Maybe guys your age seem immature? Does it bother you personally? Or has someone else told you that there was something wrong with you?

[Skeezyks]

Hello squiddinkk: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! May I suggest you introduce yourself to the general membership over on our New Members Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

I don't know what to tell you with regard to your concern. It is true, I believe, that boys mature more slowly than girls do. (I think that's generally accepted as being the case.) And perhaps young men in their 20's & early 30's seem to you to be more mature than boys your own age? (Whether they actually are or not is another question of course.) Maybe, since from what you wrote it sounds like you have a good relationship with your father, perhaps young men in their 20's & early 30's remind you more of your father. If that is the case, it's possible this concern is something you'll grow out of as you yourself reach your 20's & early 30's.

Beyond that, I think this may be something you'd need to delve into at some point with the help of a counselor or mental health therapist, if you felt like you really wanted to really try to get to the "root" of the concern. However, assuming this is not something that is of major concern to you, it may make sense to simply wait a while & see if your preference for "older men" doesn't simply fade away over time. From my perspective, some of these sorts of things simply don't have any real answer to them. They're just sort of an enigmatic combination of genetics & reactions to life experiences... much of it stored in areas of our brains to which we have no conscious access. There's really nothing you can put your finger on, so to speak.

The other thing here, though, is I don't know how old you are. I'm presuming you are perhaps in your teens? While at this point, the age difference between you & young men in their 20's & early 30's seems dramatic (& is to some extent) as you yourself get into your 20's & 30's & beyond, a difference of 5, 10 or 15 years or even more won't necessarily be of that great consequence. At least these are my thoughts with regard to your post.

I hope you find the time you spend here on PC to be of benefit. My best wishes to you...

[Wild Coyote]

Hi squiddinkk,

Welcome to PC.

I was always attracted to older men when I was "young." In time, I'd ended up marrying a man 3 years younger than me. Lol! you never know!

I hope you find the information and the support you may be seeking.
Please make yourself at home. Jump in wherever you feel led to do so.

Your first 5 posts are approved by a moderator before they appear. After 5 approved posts, you will also have access to chatrooms and to the Private Messaging (PM) system.

I hope to see you around the forums.


WC