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#1
Jul 17, 2018, 02:53 PM
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What I am going to write is a cumulus of crap that shouldn't be read, though my dysfunctional humanity is causing it to be published.
I don't want to be a human being, I shouldn't be alive, I should have born as an animal. I can pretend to be a normal human being, I can be a model human being, but inside I know who I am, I am conscious of my fraud towards the World. I never forget I am not what the World sees, I know what I truly am. ("I have no mouth and I must scream", and it cannot be heard, nothingness cannot be heard) I want to be coherent with my own narrative, I want to make a favour to myself and become nobody, because nobody has ever been a human, nothingness can't be a human. Nobody deserves nothing, nobody gets nothing, Why would you care about nobody? Nobody cannot be cared of, because nothingness cannot be appreciated, nothingness cannot be seen, nobody cannot be seen, even Nobody cannot care of its own nothingness... My pseudo existence begins to make sense as soon as I realize I am not a human being but Nobody.
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Crazy, inside and aside Meds: bye bye meds CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions "Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance." I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison- |
 adordan, Anonymous48850, happysobercrafter, Skeezyks
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#2
Jul 19, 2018, 06:15 PM
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I have made myself into about as much of a nothing as it's possible to be. And I'm content with it...
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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#3
Jul 19, 2018, 06:46 PM
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What's the benefit to being a nobody?
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True happiness comes not when we get rid of all our problems, but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice patience and learn.~Richard Carlson |
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#4
Jul 19, 2018, 08:41 PM
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You sound very angry with yourself. Is that right?
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 "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
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