[Rive1976]

Im putting this here because I am curious and most other forums are dead. So I want to know if what happened to me when I was little was normal. When I was about 7 me and a little boy had oral sex. Also a littlebgirl put toilet paper up my butt but I dont remember why. At age 11 a female cousin who was ten (btw I am female) bribed me to play a game where we humped and touched each other. She basically said if I didnt do it she wouldnt play normal games with me so I gave in. I have heard this is all very normal and I have heard it isnt. Any thoughts?

[ShadowGX]

To me, and this is just me, that seems pretty abnormal. Kids do a lot of stupid things as they're learning themselves and the world around them, but still...

[miss_rainy]

To me that seems a little normal. Kids experiment with a lot things, especially if they see something their parents did. When I was kid, that stuff used to happen to me a lot too then eventually stops as you get older.
It's a little weird, I know.

[splitimage]

I think that it's probably more normal than most people think. Sexual experimentation between kids of a similar age, happens, especially if they've seen adults doing it, and want to imitate them.

When I was about 7 or 8, I don't remember exactly, another girl who lived at the same lake where we had our cottage, and I occassionally did a bit of touching and rubbing just to see what it felt like. Nothing came of it, we both found it a bit boring, and so just stopped after a few times;


If however, these memories are distressing to you, you might find it helpful to seek counselling.

splitimage

Seems abnormal to me. In fact this is quite cringe worthy and brings back some traumatic memories. Can you do me a favour and make use of the Trigger Warning before you post something like this again. I would really appreciate it.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Dnester

Im putting this here because I am curious and most other forums are dead. So I want to know if what happened to me when I was little was normal. When I was about 7 me and a little boy had oral sex. Also a littlebgirl put toilet paper up my butt but I dont remember why. At age 11 a female cousin who was ten (btw I am female) bribed me to play a game where we humped and touched each other. She basically said if I didnt do it she wouldnt play normal games with me so I gave in. I have heard this is all very normal and I have heard it isnt. Any thoughts?

the only people that can say whether what happened with you and the kids around you when you were all kids and teens is your own treatment providers.

what I can say in my culture and where I grew up and the laws that were where I was this is called normal child experimentation

again only your own treatment providers and own locations law enforcement can say whether this is normal or not for you, your culture, religion, laws and such.

my suggestion contact your treatment providers they will be able to help you to locate your medical records from your childhood, what the laws were during those ages and so on.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

Seems abnormal to me. In fact this is quite cringe worthy and brings back some traumatic memories. Can you do me a favour and make use of the Trigger Warning before you post something like this again. I would really appreciate it.

Im sorry. I did write tw in the title and use the trigger warning as well.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

the only people that can say whether what happened with you and the kids around you when you were all kids and teens is your own treatment providers.

what I can say in my culture and where I grew up and the laws that were where I was this is called normal child experimentation

again only your own treatment providers and own locations law enforcement can say whether this is normal or not for you, your culture, religion, laws and such.

my suggestion contact your treatment providers they will be able to help you to locate your medical records from your childhood, what the laws were during those ages and so on.

Yeah I tried that. They dont have them anymore.

I actually feel bad you have had to go through all of this (um... every one of your threads has a trigger warning in it) at an early age. That's all I can say. I am not a developmental psychologist to know whether or not this is normal, but sexual experimentation shouldn't come before you hit puberty (age of 11-12.) It can lead to further worsened judgement about sexual practices, I guess.

[Victoria'smom]

I wouldn't say it's normal. As a pre-teen probably but younger it sounds like some of the people you were around or you were abused.

[Rive1976]

Thanks guys. The lonely chemist I appreciate you noticing that I put tw symbol. I really try not to trigger anyone when I am searching for help.

[Rive1976]

The one i was most curious about is it normal for a 6 or 7 year old to put toilet paper in another childs bottom?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Dnester

The one i was most curious about is it normal for a 6 or 7 year old to put toilet paper in another childs bottom?

According to my childrens doctor yes it is normal children sometimes help each other in the bathroom clean up and hey wow theres a hole with gook in and around..... well you see where Im going. its normal for this to happen with my children more than once lol

my suggestion is if you are still having a problem with this talk with your treatment providers or a mental health treatment provider and your medical doctor they will explain to you whether this was normal directly related to your problems.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

According to my childrens doctor yes it is normal children sometimes help each other in the bathroom clean up and hey wow theres a hole with gook in and around..... well you see where Im going. its normal for this to happen with my children more than once lol

my suggestion is if you are still having a problem with this talk with your treatment providers or a mental health treatment provider and your medical doctor they will explain to you whether this was normal directly related to your problems.

Well i just want to know what a variety of people think. Im not talking about toileting. Im talking about a another seven year old bending a child over and stuffing little balls of tp up the other childs rectum. I dont remember what started it. I was only 7. Anyway kids do bizzare stuff. I just want to know if this is normal bizzare stuff kids do.

[healingme4me]

I'm going to say that, yeah..I get that experimentation is supposed to be a natural phenomena with children. At the same time, I want to say that just looking back on my own life and childhood and having a boy in my inner circle of neighborhood and in home and in their own home friends he never touched me nor I him. By the age of 11, a cheap boob feel was the extent of another neighbourhood friend of which I smacked him. We were all playing tackle football to that age...I don't really know what to make of your experience

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Dnester

Im putting this here because I am curious and most other forums are dead. So I want to know if what happened to me when I was little was normal. When I was about 7 me and a little boy had oral sex. Also a littlebgirl put toilet paper up my butt but I dont remember why. At age 11 a female cousin who was ten (btw I am female) bribed me to play a game where we humped and touched each other. She basically said if I didnt do it she wouldnt play normal games with me so I gave in. I have heard this is all very normal and I have heard it isnt. Any thoughts?

Pretty normal, I'd say.

[Rive1976]

Ok I have had three therapists say the toilet paper thing wasnt normal. Kids do weird things though. I am also curious to why a child would go through normal sexual play then act it out on younger children and animals. If it is so normal?

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Dnester

Ok I have had three therapists say the toilet paper thing wasnt normal. Kids do weird things though. I am also curious to why a child would go through normal sexual play then act it out on younger children and animals. If it is so normal?

Why does it matter if it's normal or not? Seems like a split crowd here on whether all this is normal.

Young children may indeed touch themselves not comprehending. But to act it out on other small children, even animals?

If that behavior was going on around my geographic region, yeah...alarms bells would begin to go off.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Why does it matter if it's normal or not? Seems like a split crowd here or rather everyone around here at the moment is saying oral sex between 7 year olds is normal, but I'm questioning that one personally myself.

Young children may indeed touch themselves not comprehending. But to act it out on other small children, even animals?

If that behavior was going on around my geographic region, yeah...alarms bells would begin to go off.

It really matters to me because I acted out all of these things in some form at a young age. If it was normal and shouldnt have affected me I am just a bad seed.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Dnester

It really matters to me because I acted out all of these things in some form at a young age. If it was normal and shouldnt have affected me I am just a bad seed.

Not true. If you were experiencing abuses as a child and in turn acted abusive as a child then your childhood does not define the totality of who you are and who you've become. Doesn't sound like you had protection and security in your youth.

[healingme4me]

Have you undergone CSA specific therapy? Do you belong to a CSA support group?

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Why does it matter if it's normal or not? Seems like a split crowd here on whether all this is normal.

Young children may indeed touch themselves not comprehending. But to act it out on other small children, even animals?

If that behavior was going on around my geographic region, yeah...alarms bells would begin to go off.

I had fixed my post before quoted.
I was miffed at reading that at 7 this is considered normal.

[Rive1976]

I wasnt sexually abused. All that i speak of i let happen. Therapist only speculate i may have been molested. So i have no clear answers and since i dont know i have to go by what i do know. That i acted out based on my experiences with peers and gives me no right to have ended up a freak and acting out those things.

[notz]

Some things happen to some people and some things don't. It happened to you, maybe it's not a matter of "normal" but more a matter of this IS what happened to you at those ages. It's your experience, it doesn't have to be a "normal". I would call it out of the norm for most children. So that would put you in a smaller percentage group of people who had those experiences. But it's still your reality and it does feel weird.

I am one of those people in the smaller percentage group that had something sexual happen to them at a similar age as you that most kids probably don't experience. I was ashamed afterwards that I was involved but the truth is I was coerced by another child. A child, not an adult in this case. A child is not an adult even if they acted upon another child. They are just as incapable of making adult decisions as you were. Innocent? Perhaps not but probably not abnormal. It just was what happened.

For me, it took years to turn my thinking around on this. I thought I was the scum of the earth but that wasn't the truth. The truth was I was still a child and I wasn't always well supervised. Another child had a curiosity and used me during an opportune moment to explore. I've learned to keep it that simple because it was just that simple. Granted, it made a mess of me but it can be worked through. Be easy on your child self, they didn't know everything you now know. Have hope!

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Dnester

I wasnt sexually abused. All that i speak of i let happen. Therapist only speculate i may have been molested. So i have no clear answers and since i dont know i have to go by what i do know. That i acted out based on my experiences with peers and gives me no right to have ended up a freak and acting out those things.

There's this site called Safer Society Foundation. They have literature that delves into this discussion.

There's a PDF link on Do Children Sexually Abuse Other Children. It's worthwhile reading material. https://www.safersociety.org/uploads...DoChildren.pdf

I'd encourage you to read through it. You're not a freak because of your experience.