[My Paper Heart]

For some reason, my mind will think one way but my body will react in a totally different way. I can logic whatever, be dead-set in my belief that everything was fine, and try to use the skills from CBT and DBT but my body will still act as though I have no coping skills whatsoever.

EXAMPLE 1 (anxiety): When I was a teacher, there was one day when I was running about 10 minutes late to work. I'm OCPD so my natural reaction to being late is to panic. My conscious mind logicked and truly believed it was no big deal -- I had teacher planning 1st period so no one would be waiting for me, there wouldn't be any repercussions for running late (for the 1st time in years), and nothing bad would happen. My body, however, decided to act like I was having an anxiety/panic attack -- my heart, and to a lesser extent my thoughts, were racing, and my body was on autopilot for rushing (i.e., the intense urge to run instead of walk, speeding while driving, etc). Even though I knew and believed I was fine and there was no reason to panic, my body reacted that way regardless.

EXAMPLE 2 (sadness/depression): I sought help from Vocational Rehabilitation to find a new job after leaving teaching but before they could really help me I had to decide on a new career. I got the results of the vocational evaluation VR set up and most of my choices matched the test results. However, VR said no to every one of my choices -- either I was too educated so they weren't going to help me get the certification required or their system (but not indeed.com) said there were no job openings within 25 miles. We finally settled for something I am entirely over-qualified for. I got incredibly depressed and spent hours crying and feeling useless. But that reaction made no sense -- I knew the job wasn't my only option, that I could go off on my own and apply for jobs in other careers, that this one woman wasn't able to determine my entire future, that I wasn't doomed, and I could always use whatever job I ended up with a stepping stone to help pay for whatever certification needed for whatever career I ultimately wanted. I believed wholeheartedly that I wasn't useless. Yet no matter what I thought and believed, the word useless was permanently glued in my mind and I couldn't stop crying. I knew better but I couldn't change my reaction.

What in the world can I do to make my conscious and unconscious agree to think and act the same way?

Every single time I react to something in the wrong way (such as shutting down when a super stressful situation arises), my conscious mind knows the solution to the problem, it recognizes that my unconscious is reacting inappropriately, it knows how it should act, and uses logic to calm me down... but my physical reaction doesn't change. I can't get my physical reactions to align with my mind. It's like I can't convince my body to listen to my mind.

I've been working on this for a year and I'm stuck. It keeps happening and it's insanely frustrating.

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you are struggling with this. I do have some sense of what you're talking about here. I'm an old man now. Plus I haven't been gainfully employed for... oh... it must be going on 15 years or so (memory fails me.) However throughout my life, both while in school & during my working years, anxieties of various kinds were things I struggled with. And now, even though I'm officially retired & living a pretty-much comfortable life, my body still reacts to any potentially stressful situation the way it did all those years ago when I was in school or working. I think after so many years, it simply doesn't know how to function any other way. Perhaps what you are experiencing is similar?

Unfortunately, I don't know as I have any particularly creative solutions to offer you. In my case, I've become a pretty solitary person. And I strive to control my immediate environment to the extent possible. I listen to soft, quiet music. I avoid violent TV programs or movies. I don't play video games. (I'm also not on Facebook or other kinds of social media.) I do drink black tea. So I get some caffeine that way. But otherwise I avoid caffeine as well. I think there are a lot of things we can do to manage our day-to-day environments. And then, beyond that, there are such things as journaling and meditation along with some types of hobbies (I'm a home bread baker) that can help. Here are links to 7 articles, from PsychCentral's archives that discuss the use of journaling & meditation to manage anxiety plus one that discusses the practice of yoga to relieve anxiety:

The Health Benefits of Journaling

4 Journaling Exercises to Help You Manage Your Emotions

Journaling to Help Reduce Stress and Anxiety | Happily Imperfect

How Meditation Helps Anxiety

3 Practices to Calm An Anxious Mind

https://psychcentral.com/blog/using-...o-reclaim-joy/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...y-for-anxiety/

My best wishes to you...

[*Laurie*]

Conscious and unconscious disagreement is an enormous problem and seems to be especially challenging for those with mental illness.
For example, I absolutely love the autumn...the cool weather, the colors, the softness. However, the moment summer turns to autumn - BANG - I feel extremely anxious and have an awful sensation of doom. Have to increase my meds. Count the hours until my next therapy appointment. Use every coping tool I've learned over the years. That's just one example. The conscious and unconscious mind...I guess that's what Freud was working on when he invented psychotherapy.