[cms39]

The people at work sometimes get me down. At least, a few I work with are talking about their appearance a lot. I don't think I am very attractive. I'm 39, but I'm graying and can't decide what to do about my hair. (Permanent or temporary color, salon or at-home). Also, I'm just not a fashion conscious person. Is that so bad? I'm also not very materialistic.

I'm resisting buying a cell phone. I don't own one and I don't want one. EVERYBODY has one around here. (Of course, I did buy a computer four years ago).

I'm really wanting to do some real good in this world, so I've signed up to volunteer with Head Start. I'm going to orientation next Wednesday. That should cheer me up. Doing something good for people always does.

I couldn't stand watching TV tonight because every show is about materialism or appearance. Anyone else feel this way?

[dexter]

I understand how you feel.

I think what Ozzie was saying was about taking care of yourself. When I was very depressed I stopped shaving and didn't but my hair or brush my teeth. When I felt better I shaved and went out to get a haircut. That was not only a result of my feeling better but also helped me feel better about myself. It was something very noticable and a sign of my recovery that I could see every time I passed a mirror or lifted my hand to scratch my face.

But the important thing about that is the idea of "looking good" as a sign of "taking care of yourself" and not to please others. It is OK to dress to please others on some occasions but it shouldn't be a life goal .

I can't speak about your coworkers, not knowing if that discussion was typical of their personalities or just a moment of fun... but I agree with you that that does not make for interesting or stimulating water cooler chat . Having a good soul is much more important... being the kind of person who isn't obsessed with fashion but rather makes an attempt to better herself by volunteering for a service organization to help other people.

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--http://www.idexter.com

[cms39]

Thank you donaquixote and dexter.

I apologize to Ozzie. I know what she meant. A few years ago, when I was seriously depressed, I let things go too, like you Dexter. I'm better now (clean and neatly dressed), but I'm still not going to get crazy for fashion or trying to look sexy and I still hate clothes shopping. I wish there were more intelligent things people wanted to talk about sometimes, that's all. It's all surface stuff.