[Bookworm257]

Hi. I know not all of you are professionals or anything but I thought if someone other than myself examined these things they would be able to help me name them or assess them.

I want to know if it sounds to you like abandonment issues is what I'm dealing with here, or if it could be other things.

- I get anxious when someone takes too long to reply to an email or text message
- I am incredibly afraid of starting conflicts or saying/doing anything that could harm a relationship, or cause disapproval from the other person.
- I easily get a feeling of jealousy when my friends are talking to other people I do not know, when I am there with them. If they are not talking to me or acknowledging me I get scared this will contintue and damage the realtionship. This is actually a toxic selfish habit that I am working on.
- When I make someone upset at me, I go crazy with the feelings of guilt, wrothlessness, and fear of the relationship being affected or damaged, even if it was something that realistically wouldn't do this (at least for very long).
- My mother was arrested for drug possession/use wen I was 5 and I have not seen her or communicated with her since, so this may be a cause.
- I get a sudden feeling of despair when my friends have to leave after hanging out, either when they have other plans to make, the class period ends, or any other reason.
- I take any and all criticism personally, thinking that the other person must absolutely hate me and think I'm stupid or worthless. I internalize it all and worry that the other person will hate me forever.

[Open Eyes]

((Bookworm)), I am sorry you are struggling with all these challenges. Yes, it could be due to your losing your mother at the tender age of 5 and never getting to see her again. That is a lot for a child to understand, they don't understand and even think it may be their fault somehow too.

It sounds like you are making an effort to be more self aware, always good IMHO. I think it would be helpful if you sat with a therapist that can help you learn ways to overcome these challenges. It sounds like that's something you really want to do, always a good sign.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Bookworm257

Hi. I know not all of you are professionals or anything but I thought if someone other than myself examined these things they would be able to help me name them or assess them.

I want to know if it sounds to you like abandonment issues is what I'm dealing with here, or if it could be other things.

- I get anxious when someone takes too long to reply to an email or text message
- I am incredibly afraid of starting conflicts or saying/doing anything that could harm a relationship, or cause disapproval from the other person.
- I easily get a feeling of jealousy when my friends are talking to other people I do not know, when I am there with them. If they are not talking to me or acknowledging me I get scared this will contintue and damage the realtionship. This is actually a toxic selfish habit that I am working on.
- When I make someone upset at me, I go crazy with the feelings of guilt, wrothlessness, and fear of the relationship being affected or damaged, even if it was something that realistically wouldn't do this (at least for very long).
- My mother was arrested for drug possession/use wen I was 5 and I have not seen her or communicated with her since, so this may be a cause.
- I get a sudden feeling of despair when my friends have to leave after hanging out, either when they have other plans to make, the class period ends, or any other reason.
- I take any and all criticism personally, thinking that the other person must absolutely hate me and think I'm stupid or worthless. I internalize it all and worry that the other person will hate me forever.

Yes it sound like abandonment. It also sound like codependency. I am going through this myself. Read the journey from abandonment to healing Susan Anderson. Great book. It also on YouTube.

[sarahsweets]

Very often when there are abandonment issues there is a childhood route. How was your childhood?

[divine1966]

I am sorry to hear about your mother situation. Were you raised by other members of your family? Dad?

It does sound like you have abandonment issues. Possibly caused my what happened with your mother

Have you tried therapy? You might find it helpful