[ChargedInfluence]

For me, mostly no. I've had to suffer alone for the last 9 years of my life. The amount of people who were there for me is so few that I can count them all on one hand and they're all gone out of my life now. They would be my 7th grade art teacher, my 8th grade English teacher and a girl at the mental ward I was at in 2013. And also a handful of people I met online over the years. Only one of them I'm still in contact with. But other than that, I was the only support I had.

Can anyone relate?

[MsLady]

Absolutely!

[Skeezyks]

Over the years I've simply learned to keep it all to myself to the best of my ability.

[MsLady]

Originally Posted by MsLady

Absolutely!

Sorry, I wasn't clear. I can "absolutely" relate with you.

When I was a young child, the 2 family counseling sessions we ever had consisted of my mother and sister arguing throughout.. without resolution.

Growing up, we were expected to work through various scenarios (trauma) alone. My sisters and I didn't even speak amongst each other, as if nothing happened at all.

My school counselor never pulled me aside to "check in", even though my sister's counselors had and were aware of at least a couple of family incidences. I dealt with everything silently, for the most part.

I confided in a "friend" who ended up using it as gossip stories behind my back, which severed our trust and friendship. I opened up to an ex who used the information against me. I opened up to my current partner, who turns out, exhibits a lot of similar characteristics.

As an adult, I can't rely on extended family because they're all warped into the family dynamics, and because I chose to step away, I'm deemed to be the A-hole. My mother is most likely NDP (in my head) and therefore, "unavailable". My sisters and I are all estranged from each other.

I suspect my partner's family believes his campaign smearing (to an extent) and are guarded with me, despite his past, prior to me (blood is truly thicker than water).

So, I currently have ONE friend I can speak to ATM who has been supportive.. but because I don't want to burden her with my life stories, I keep a lot of it quiet. It's about give and take. She's not my counselor.

I went to a counselor who, instantly, wanted me to work through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.. day one. Once again, I felt my story.. my trauma.. my understanding.. was to be kept to myself.

Our couple's counselor was GREAT but fired us, as she felt individual counseling was best for us. I don't think she supported our relationship, due to the behaviours I had concerns with, in which he admitted to.

For the most part, I've learned that people don't want to know. They want to maintain superficial conversations about themselves, their weekend get-away, and hobbies..

There's clearly something wrong with me because I often find we live in a Facebook Bubble where authenticity doesn't exist.. a helping hand is paired with motive.. and status is top on the priority list.

Sorry for the long winded response. Yes, I can absolutely understand your pain.. which is what brings us here.

Hugs to you!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Over the years I've simply learned to keep it all to myself to the best of my ability.

Me, too.

[Aviza]

My mom has always been there with me.

[mote.of.soul]

I had a friend I met when I was 18 he was 21 (I'm 51 now) who was there for me right up to the age of 29. At 29 I started to drift away...

But, yes, I can say I have had someone there for me in hard times, lonely times.

[Goforward]

I developed a psychotic disorder later in life. I fell off a bicycle and struck my head.
A month later I had my first break. My oldest sister has been there for me so many times. I am blessed that if I had to have this I got it when I was older.

[bpforever1]

Only my mother has stuck by me through thick and thin. My father wanted to disown me the last time I became psychotic. I do feel grateful towards my mother although she is also very overprotective.

[nicoleflynn]

My best friend; my sister has always been there for me.

[splitimage]

I've been supremely lucky. I have about a half a dozen friends, and my brother, who have stuck through everything in the past 15 years with me.

But I've also had to work on maintaining those relationships.

splitimage.

So far there’s really only been one person who’s been there for me and hasn’t left yet. I don’t know how she puts up with me but we’ve been friends for 4 years now. We talk every day , pretty much all day right now with the lockdown in place. I love her very much and she’s the only person I can say has been a true friend. Everyone else has pretty much just left me when things get hard.

Possible trigger:

when I first attempted suicide,

it was a stranger who saved my life.
my mother/ rest of the family didn't want to know, and this woman (who I never really knew) got me help

since then, no one.

I obviously havon't seen her again (chances are I never will), I obviously don't have family who are interested, so no.... no one else

Possible trigger:

I have even had therapists encourage me to take my life which is always going to hard to live down, I mean who does that if you're working professionally?

[Fuzzybear]

That person (people) in the last trigger box... makes me wonder. Grrrrrr
and these people are supposed to help?
(((((((( hugs ))))))))

When I was young, someone literally saved my life. I did not know this person and I will never know who they are or who they have become since rescuing me. I will forever be grateful and do my best to pay forward the kindness and bravery that was shown to me.

I too have been encouraged to end my life, with both general comments from strangers and also with specific instruction. I've become a better person having learned how to battle this kind of negativity.

I'm sorry the experience with your ex-therapist was as terrible as it was. my idea of mental heath assistance is NOT the best but I know for sure that is something a professional should never even hint at. In fact, it is their sworn duty to prevent that type of situation.

RV- I hope you were able to move on without the help of this malicious person. It is possible they were trying to help, but it seems to me they were not the right person for your situation. Please don't give up. I'm glad you are here with us on PC.

Originally Posted by ann bog

When I was young, someone literally saved my life. I did not know this person and I will never know who they are or who they have become since rescuing me. I will forever be grateful and do my best to pay forward the kindness and bravery that was shown to me.

I too have been encouraged to end my life, with both general comments from strangers and also with specific instruction. I've become a better person having learned how to battle this kind of negativity.

I'm sorry the experience with your ex-therapist was as terrible as it was. my idea of mental heath assistance is NOT the best but I know for sure that is something a professional should never even hint at. In fact, it is their sworn duty to prevent that type of situation.

RV- I hope you were able to move on without the help of this malicious person. It is possible they were trying to help, but it seems to me they were not the right person for your situation. Please don't give up. I'm glad you are here with us on PC.

thank you.

I have since stopped seeing that person (in fact moved away from the area)

still looking for the right person, wondering if therapy is at all right for me actually. 9 therapists later and I'm still wondering that... sometimes I feel that i'm beyond help

Possible trigger:

since the insodent I have had more attempts on my life

so I am far from settled and happy,

but who knows. I may click my fingers and the right person will come along

doubt it, but we're living in a strange world..

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Over the years I've simply learned to keep it all to myself to the best of my ability.

This..

I can't believe that during the corona virus my brother didn't even facebook me to see if I was ok. Not a single word.

Useless.

[ArtleyWilkins]

I've been fortunate to come from a very close family (and one that is actually pretty functional). I also have a great husband and kids. My coworkers are troopers. My church can always be counted on. They all serve different purposes - I don't ask or expect they same things from all of them.

Professionally, I had some excellent therapists and pdocs.

[Patsfan]

Yes. A priest in my parish when I was a teen was always there for. We have been friends through the years and he helped celebrate our wedding. I am not sure if I would be here without his support.

Originally Posted by Patsfan

Yes. A priest in my parish when I was a teen was always there for. We have been friends through the years and he helped celebrate our wedding. I am not sure if I would be here without his support.

I have been blessed by a priest

sone years ago, I was in the hospital over christmas, because I

Possible trigger:

tried to take my life.

the nurse thought I wouldn't make it past christmas eve, and called a priest in to bless me.

I don't actually remember seeing the priest, because I was really out of it at the time, but I was told the next day that he had blessed me.

Possible trigger:

that was also the year that the woman died in my arms. I remember just standing their in shock as she breaved her last in my arms, and then fell in to me. hard to experience