Was it wrong to notify another of a pedophile?

beauflow · 12:24 AM

Possible trigger:

I found out from a denial of signing up to next door (web site ) that there is a sex offender in the complex and they provided details.
I can get an account because I'm not residing with them... but I was perplexed with what to do with the information...
A part of me wanted to do print outs* and post them, another part- 'perhaps they're trying to get help'.

After some thought-
I sent the information to the leasing office, they replied theyll investigate it, because "there absolutely can not be a sex offender living at the complex"

Wtf is wrong with me while I write this, but- I feel "bad"- guilty for possibly getting someone evicted, without knowing their situation.. but yet I had worried about the kids in the area .... I had asked if at least parents to be aware of the information in my note.

Can pedophiles- which was this case- be helped?
Idk and deep down a part of me believes not.

I realize that help can't be provided if One doesn't want to accept it. Some wi9 never understand or see what they do "wrong " or why it's hurtful.

But idk if this person realize what they did was wrong and is trying.

I am unsure if my own trauma, ptsd and anxiety - and my struggle with one brother and understanding his frustration with felony (NOT CSA RELATED- but violence)...... Its all probably helping with thoughts that I'm trying to avoid going down a "rabbit hole" to an abyss ...
I "should just let it go" but I need to process this and probably call t but ... she can be a little loud sometimes for me and -- some people are broken to her and I don't like that, because i feel broken a lot.. anyway

Was I wrong to bring this up with the leasing office?
I shamefully feel like I had power over another with the information-- but I worried about the kids and what ifs.

I know a part of me says- "you did nothing wrong" but I'm conflicted. Even though i know, i would had felt awful if something happened and I didn't share the information

unaluna · Jul 02, 2020, 12:46 AM

There are laws to protect you (like directories) and there are laws to protect him (like you cant harass him?). Its a difficult situation to be in. But i think if you look at the directories, very few neighborhoods dont have them now. Or maybe thats just my towns!

mote.of.soul · Jul 02, 2020, 01:34 AM

Yeah, that would be a tricky decision to make, @beauflow. This awful world puts us in all sorts of unwanted situations.

At the end of the day, you did what you needed to do, and it's good because the welfare of children came first, regardless. And if the guy in your building has a conscience about his sex offending, then he should understand why anyone would feel concerned. As you say, if anything happened, well, that would be a terrible weight to carry around for you.

I don't think what you did was wrong, no. And the conflict you feel is natural, too. It's understandable.

divine1966 · Jul 02, 2020, 07:12 AM

Wrong post.

beauflow · Jul 02, 2020, 07:26 AM

I understand no harassment- that's why the part of me that wanted post print outs knew it wasn't ok, and I dont want people to mob over to the guy... but I worried. I also was frustrated that I was under the belief that the community is notified of such things but we weren't and reading it's not required every where, If anywhere.

I'm also aware that each resident signs an agreement of crime free with the landlor for the property- no recent convictions and no convictions during residency, or it's result in eviction.

While it focuses on drugs it does have mentioned if assault or any crime/ criminal activity.
Luring a child fits that

There has been past neighbors evicted due to - one was a fist fight at a gym! They got evicted because assault charges got brought up, and the parent of the guy that had the police shoot out got evicted because he was letting his son stay with him..
I'm not saying I fully agree and is on part my worries with family that didn't lure a child being punished for another's crime and not following thr rules or being honest with the leasing office.

Now I'm getting angry that I stuck my nose into this that I wanted to sign up for next door and was given this information.

I don't understand why THIS CSA SEEMS TO NEVER STOP.

But thanks Unaluna and Mote of Souls

TishaBuv · Jul 02, 2020, 07:28 AM

I think you absolutely did the right thing. The office will handle the matter lawfully. These laws are to protect the public.

Once, another resident where I lived sent around a flyer to the whole community that this man who was a registered sex offender was living there. I think that’s an example where someone went too far and violated the rights of the man. I just disregarded the flyer.

TishaBuv · Jul 02, 2020, 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

There are laws to protect you (like directories) and there are laws to protect him (like you cant harass him?). Its a difficult situation to be in. But i think if you look at the directories, very few neighborhoods dont have them now. Or maybe thats just my towns!

There is no online sex offender registry where you live?

Jul 02, 2020, 09:39 AM

I think you did the right thing. It sounds like you know this too, but need to process it. That's ok. Good to know that too.

Travelinglady · Jul 02, 2020, 10:25 AM

I don't think being a sex offender is a private matter, and records can be looked up, so I think it was a good idea.

unaluna · Jul 02, 2020, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

There is no online sex offender registry where you live?

There is, thats what im saying. I used the word directories instead of online registeries.

i dont know my current neighborhood that well, but i checked my hometown. Theres an offender every few blocks.

Open Eyes · Jul 02, 2020, 09:13 PM

I think it was ok that you notified the landlord beauflow.

TishaBuv · Jul 03, 2020, 05:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

There is, thats what im saying. I used the word directories instead of online registeries.

i dont know my current neighborhood that well, but i checked my hometown. Theres an offender every few blocks.

I know the laws are that they can’t live a certain distance from a school and such. Sure, there are offenders on the registry living all over. Also, some of them may have only been say, like a 19 year old who was put on the registry for consensual sex with a 17 year old and it follows them for life, if I am correct.

I hear there’s talk of removing those kinds of offenders, and i agree. Anyone can look on the registry if they want to know who are and where the offenders live.

Beau- If your development said he can’t live there, it must be due to a law regarding distance to a school or similar.

beauflow · Jul 03, 2020, 07:48 AM

We sign a "crime free" agreement with the leasing office.
I think that's why the leasing Lady mentioned what she did. But could be something else

MuseumGhost · Aug 03, 2020, 06:23 PM

I think you did the right thing. Try and think of it this way---What if something unthinkable happened to a neighbour's child, and you HADN'T done anything about it when you could have?

That answers it for me, right there.

CaptainChaos · 12:27 AM

Okay so here is the flip side of that coin...what IF you had not said anything and that person had hurt a child in the complex or in the neighborhood? Then how do you think you would be feeling? Can they be cured? I can't give you a definitive answer about that. What I can tell you is that statistics say that sex offenders have and 85% (or more) recidivism rate. Higher than any other crime. Of the 15% that don't reoffend, I personally wonder if its because they just aren't getting caught or were never true sex criminals to begin with. Don't beat yourself up. You would feel worse if you had kept your mouth shut and

Quote:

he had raped a woman or a child.

sarahsweets · Aug 04, 2020, 02:43 AM

You do not list your location but I am a pretty good looker upper if you want to share and have me check out some info.

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Was it wrong to notify another of a pedophile?

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