[AliceKate]

I was wondering how your memory works, how much you remember from your past and, if there was a trauma, how much of what happened before the trauma? Do you trust your memory?

[Breaking Dawn]

I remember a lot, all the way back to early childhood. But hallucinations that seemed so real couldn't have been real. I saw a bear reading magazines & believed it was real until adult logic told me it probably wasn't.

I remember a lot of stuff about what happened to me in my past, and about trauma, and about abuse..
however: my memory can no longer retain any new information (I guess a mixture of meds and stress), and aything that needs to be done in the present time- get dressed, eat, any information I need to remember, it's all sticky notes everywhere.

caused issues at school too and dropped out early

[MickeyCheeky]

i don't have many memories of my childhood i think. i don't think there was any trauma in particular though so perhaps it is just that way. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to ALL of you, @AliceKate, your Families, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[downandlonely]

I have an excellent memory and have very clear memories of most of my childhood. But there was no trauma involved. People with traumatic childhoods seem to remember very little.

[Yzen]

I don't trust my long term memory -- never have. I had some trauma as a child and have trouble determining what was real or not. I feel like my memories of the past are distorted. It may come from anxiety. It seems to cause confusing memories.

[AliceKate]

Thanks a lot for your answers. More are always welcome.

To answer my own question, I only have a few memories of my childhood. Considering the years of youth and even my more recent past, I can recall it, but I am very insecure regarding my interpretations of it. It's like moving chess pieces in the fog. Sometimes the form and texture is that of a queen, other times of a pawn. I am not certain if my emotions cause the shift or the shift causes the emotions. It seems likely that both is true.

Sometimes I think ignoring my past is best, not moving past it, but pretending it doesn't exist, so it cannot pull me down.