[black-roses]

I have been very annoyed with my sister lately, I feel like I can't talk to her without her biting my head off or being like stop worrying and like that's a very stupid and negative thought when I just want to vent how I'm feeling. To be honest I think she's very bad for my self esteem I feel like she only wants me at her house when she wants me to take care of Alana, but then I'm like the mentally disabled person and she calls me such awful names. I honestly am angry at myself for putting up with it so long because most people would have just blocked her. Ever since she had her daughter Alana I've noticed that she is more selfish and self centred then ever. I can tell that when she talks to me that she is very angry inside and I know it's not my problem she feels that way but honestly if I'm the mentally disabled person she says I am then why am I only good when it serves her? I think I should honestly try as much as I can to dismantle this relationship because now it has become truly toxic. I should be able to speak and be understood but no when I talk I feel I'm being shut down... I do everything she says even when it's not right for me. I didn't want to enrol into Tafe after what happened it being so raw and having such bad mental health I felt it wasnt wise to enrol. She literally burdened me about it until I enrolled and I don't want to be in this course. I want to get better first. Nobody listens to me it's like my opinion doesn't matter to them and only they know what I should do. Well it's my brain and I know what I think in it! I'm not gonna stay in a course if I'm not ready and I won't let people run my life anymore

[Otheraccountt17]

I hope whatever you decide goes well!

[downandlonely]

Your sister sounds a lot like my brother. I have distanced myself from him (moved 1000 miles away) and honestly the less contact I have with him, the better I feel. I don't need his negative energy dragging me down. He is miserable and wants everyone else to be too.

[RoxanneToto]

I’m sorry you’re going through this, it sounds very difficult. I can understand why you might not want to cut her out, but at least decreasing your availability to her would likely help your self esteem. Take your power/life back from her control - start by doing what you want to about courses (including not doing any). Do what you think is best for you (and it’s ok to be wrong about those things or make mistakes, too).

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry for what you're going through! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about at least starting to distance yourself from her if she seems to bring you down constantly. You can still keep in touch with her for important Celebrations and other events but if you feel like she's having a negative impact on your Life then i feel like diminishing your contacts with her may be necessary unless she decides to change. i'd suggest to either do that or talk to your sister about how bad you're feeling around her i think. If she doesn't seem to change then i'm afraid there aren't a lot of other choices then. i Hope things will improve really soon for you and everyone. Love. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @black-roses, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[Que Sera Sera]

it almost sounds like shes jelious or envious or intimated or threatned or resentful or some other sort of "grudge" that she sees herself "less" than you in some sort of way.
having you around she thinks only mannages to draw attention to how inferior she icompares to other ppl.
and i mean no offence by this but it is probably even a worse deal when the person she is inferior to is mentally challenged in some way when she is the one who mind is normal .
maybe try not to let it get to you so much and just shrug it off as its her problem and oh well whatever .. blah blah blah .. talk to the hand cuz you aint gonna bum me out listening to you play pity party with yourself.
maybe if she sees not upseting you by doing it she will give it up and quit doing it.

[modestlychee6463]

It sounds like jealousy and competitiveness, and that she is toxic for you. I think you should distance yourself away from her as much you can, and not tell her anything as much as you want to. It's better to tell a counselor. It would be better if you weren't in the same room as she is in. It sounds like she is trying to help you have your own life without her, and she doesn't seem to want you as a sister all that much except when she can order you around because she thinks you're mentally handicapped and not capable of handling yourself. She's probably trying to change you as a person too. I'd go to a counselor or a social worker asap. It seems like maybe your mother paid more attention to you than she did her because of the extra help you needed. I wouldn't go to your sister for help again, and I'd tell your parents if you can. I'm sorry you have a sister like this. A person who nitpicks you all the time and with whom you can't be yourself around isn't the type of person you would want to spend time with anyway. I think you need to join a volunteer group or anything to get you out of the house so you can have a better chance of friendships and social life apart from her. You can join forums that specialize in any interest you have too.