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Old 09-18-2021, 09:24 PM   #21
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Thanks again downandlonely. I appreciate your time and support.
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Old 09-19-2021, 01:20 PM   #22
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So, last night was pretty bad, but things are quite a bit better so far today. I did feel a fair amount of anger this morning but that's subsided and I'm making a few plans for this afternoon. It's so weird how chemistry has so much affect on your mood. And how quickly.
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Old 09-20-2021, 07:19 PM   #23
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Today has been crazy. I felt amazingly good for most of the day, but then late this afternoon my mood went south very quickly. I realized that I've been eating very poorly lately and decided to take the junk I had bought to the dumpster. I don't know that this was meaningful but I am proud to choose myself just this once. My mood hasn't improved much but is a little better than it was. My 1 on, 2 off schedule should have me skipping my dose this evening but I'm trying to decide if maybe I should take it anyway. We'll see.
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Old 09-29-2021, 12:15 AM   #24
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Yes, when is it going to finish? My moods fluctuate even when my medication remains stable. One day at a time is an oldie but a goodie. I bet your dogs appreciate the care and walks that you give them. 'Ooh yeah life goes one, long after the thrill of living has gone". John Mellencamp.
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Old 09-29-2021, 03:55 AM   #25
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Thank you @downandlonely.

I just think I'm done trying to keep going. Even with the meds it's just continuing to get worse. And my dogs aren't enough now. I'll give it a little while longer but I think this is it.

Edit: And now having a bad panic attack.

Iím a little late to the thread but do you have. A support system and family

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Old 09-29-2021, 04:16 AM   #26
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I decided to do a little experiment based on my recent experience. So, I'm going to take my 40mg of Prozac every other day rather than every day. I didn't take any last night and I feel a bit better today. I'll keep at that for a bit.

An interesting thought went through my head during our mid morning walk. Should I take the better feelings as a blessing and enjoy the day, or should I just assume they will go away and to not get too attached? Then the thought, should I just continue to assume I'm going to die at any moment, so that I will focus on living the day as best as I can, or will that just cause me to continue to be depressed and NOT live a good day? Feeling kinda philosophical today. I have no answers but these are good questions.

Iím not a doctor but I am very knowledgeable when it comes to medicine and medication and the way it works because Iím a giant nerd. It takes roughly 4 to 6 weeks for any and I depressant to work at its optimal level. This is why they tell people who start out to give it a couple weeks because in a few days you wonít make a difference. With that in mind I feel like taking your medicine every other day isnít doing anything other than placebo effect. Iím not trying to doubt how you feel Iím just saying it seems rather impossible so to speak to cut those to every other day and feel some kind of benefit. I am not you and I donít want to invalidate you.

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Old 09-29-2021, 08:44 AM   #27
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Thanks @sarahsweets! You're probably right. It just seemed like when I started with the 20mg things were pretty good and that when the dose went to 40mg, my anxiety cleared but my depression got worse. Now that I'm every other day or even every third day my anxiety is back a bit and that's what's causing me issues currently. I have been thinking lately about getting off of them altogether, but maybe I just need to give 40mg every day a try for a while. Thanks for your input and advice!

As to support system, I have a brother who was just here late last week and I have one real world friend that I meet for coffee every few weeks, though I cancelled our last meet for this weekend because my mood was so bad. And I'm here a lot but don't post much because it makes me feel needy.

I've got some things to think about. Thanks again!
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Old 09-29-2021, 08:47 AM   #28
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My moods fluctuate even when my medication remains stable.

Thanks @possum220! This is probably part of my problem. I'm not taking the meds consistently and that's messing with my mood. My brain probably doesn't know what to do. As I said to Sarah, I should probably just go all in and see what happens rather than experimenting.

Thanks again!
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