My life is ruined and I see no way out.

Well it’s not 100% accurate. People of all ages get jobs.
But you won’t know unless you try.

There must be vocational agencies that help people finding jobs. Sure not every job would work for you . But again you won’t know unless you try. I know people with every disability imaginable due to the nature of my job and many find something suitable and appropriate. Of course maybe there’s nothing suitable. But again you won’t know unless you try

I am not saying you must work but if you feel your life is ruined and you aren’t happy about it, then you might want to try something

Life has, at times, felt completely unbearable for me, too, SarahSweden. I think most people here can really relate to where you're at. We've all been there at one time or another.

Just being alive is a challenging situation. We normally get through it fairly smoothly, unless we're in some kind of pain, because that can make EVERYTHING feel worse.

If medications have not helped you (I know nothing about the Swedish Health procedures or methods), perhaps it's time to look into alternative, cognitive therapies (CBT & DBT) to get you through this rough patch. They help re-train your brain to turn off negative patterns in our thinking. CBT, especially, has helped me a great deal. And there have to be progressive doctors who can help you through this; and when you feel braver, online groups to check out.

Exercise, a very healthy diet, and getting as much sunshine as you can manage, early in the day, can also go a long way to improving our mood and helping move on from emotional pain and distress. There is no immediate pressure to do these things---start out small, and increase it as you are able.

I also like what Pachyderm wrote. Mindfulness has been an enormous help for me. When negative thoughts arrive in numbers, I distract myself with physical work, or things I simply enjoy doing. This can be enough to jump-start good chemicals in our brains, for short periods of time. Soon, it can become a healthy habit.

Simple acts of self-care have gotten me through tough times, and reminded me that where there's life, there's hope.

You've found the right place to find acceptance and understanding. Some of the Boards might move slowly, but people here are really kind, sincere, and helpful.

Wishing you a path out of those woods, and a light at the end of the tunnel.

If you don't feel that you can work full time, maybe you could try volunteering part time. I get a lot more fulfillment out of my volunteer work than I do from my paying job. Also, there is a lot you can do from home if you don't feel safe being out with Covid. I facilitate a few support groups via Zoom.

I don't know about dating, but I wouldn't just assume no one will want to be your friend because you're on disability. I have friends on disability, and my brother is on it as well. It doesn't mean I can't talk to them or hang out with them.

Yes part time job or part time volunteering (in addition to a job or instead) is a great start.

I agree about dating. Ton of people on disability date. But I understand that might not be a priority right now