Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Mar 12, 2022, 08:27 PM
lezzah lezzah is offline
Newly Joined
 
Member Since: Mar 2022
Location: California
Posts: 1
This whole year my mental health was good and I did not go into a spiral-like I did last year where it was tough. I am trying every day for myself plus I got myself back into school which has been good so far. I am not at the same pace as everyone since I took a break from school for 3 years. My dad expects me to do everything I am not. Yesterday he compared and belittled me by talking about his ex-co-worker daughter, graduating from college, and how she works for the city. Talking about all the grants she received then proceeds to say only smart people get grants. He said if I was so smart then why am I in community college and have no scholarships. If I was making something of myself then why am I still in school. Made me feel completely stupid, but I truly feel as if I am a disappointment.

It sucks because I was doing so good with my mental health, but after yesterday I can't stop crying. I hate feeling this way and I know I shouldn't listen to my dad, but it's hard. I have talked to my dad about my mental health, but he still doesn't understand. I don't have anyone to confide in, so I hold all my feelings.

I never asked to be born yet people expect so much from me.

Anyway, thank you for listening.
Hugs from:
Anonymous32448, ArmorPlate108, Bill3, Burning Sage, Discombobulated, downandlonely, eskielover, FloatThruThis, Fuzzybear, mote.of.soul, Nammu, rechu, Truth22, WastingAsparagus, wordshaker

advertisement
  #2  
Old Mar 13, 2022, 10:33 AM
downandlonely's Avatar
downandlonely downandlonely is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
I am sorry your Dad said such cruel things. My parents also often compared me to my cousins and talked about how they worked harder than me and did better. It was very hurtful.

I also had to take a break from school due to mental health, and it took me longer to finish my MA than all my classmates. But I did it! It is not at all easy to go to school with mental health issues, and I think you should be proud of yourself.
Hugs from:
wordshaker
Thanks for this!
Bill3, Discombobulated, wordshaker
  #3  
Old Mar 13, 2022, 10:53 AM
Anonymous32448
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I agree with downandlonely, its not your fault that you have mental health problems and your dad shouldnt be saying such things
Thanks for this!
Bill3, Discombobulated, wordshaker
  #4  
Old Mar 14, 2022, 07:11 AM
Marie123 Marie123 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2011
Posts: 574
People who belittle others are usually extremely insecure and quite often what they are saying about you...is really how they feel about themselves.
Thanks for this!
Bill3, Discombobulated, Fuzzybear, wordshaker
  #5  
Old Mar 14, 2022, 06:20 PM
eskielover's Avatar
eskielover eskielover is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 25,078
Hmmmm, with a dad like that I can see why you struggle with depression like your profile says. Sometimes the cause of our depression is situational....just something to think about. For me, as soon as I left my bad marriage, my depression, anxiety & even the anorexia went away & I could heal
__________________


Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
Thanks for this!
Bill3, Discombobulated
  #6  
Old Mar 14, 2022, 08:04 PM
downandlonely's Avatar
downandlonely downandlonely is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
Leaving my parents helped a lot with my depression too. But I know it's not always possible if you depend on them financially.
Thanks for this!
Bill3, Discombobulated
  #7  
Old Mar 14, 2022, 08:58 PM
Bill3 Bill3 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,966
I'm sorry that your father says such things. Parents are supposed to be supportive, it must hurt so much when a parent is unsupportive and downright cruel.



You are in school and you are making something of yourself. Keep up with your schoolwork regardless of what he says!
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear
Thanks for this!
Discombobulated, eskielover, wordshaker
  #8  
Old Apr 04, 2022, 05:26 PM
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,637
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie123 View Post
People who belittle others are usually extremely insecure and quite often what they are saying about you...is really how they feel about themselves.
Good post. I completely agree. Your dad was being an A hole being so cruel. Try not to let his bs, cruel words get to you too much. Emotional abuse is a real phenomenon. If a parent is ''disappointed'' in their child, it points to a serious flaw or constellation of serious flaws in the parent, NOT the child. Yeah, nobody ''asked to be born''... I'm sorry your ''dad'' is so disrespectful. You are not alone...
__________________
Hugs from:
downandlonely, wordshaker
Thanks for this!
Discombobulated, wordshaker
  #9  
Old Apr 04, 2022, 09:36 PM
wordshaker's Avatar
wordshaker wordshaker is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Northeast
Posts: 320
Please don’t internalize his false narrative. You are beautiful and heroic and he doesn’t deserve to know you right now. He’s denying who you are. And the way you’re cultivating your life garden in community college is lovely. Don’t let others steal that from you. I’ve denied my whole life I have a mental illness, pretending I’m normal. My profile said I was here for self improvement until yesterday. I beat myself up for failing normal standards. For being a perpetual ef-up. So many years. It’s held me back, made me less, hurt me. I decided yesterday I’m a freaking miracle. I’m 55. It took that long. Don’t believe the lie. Just love who you are, be oblivious to the rest, and bring your gifts into the world in the ways that work for you. Tell your dad you like who you are, and he doesn’t have to. Freud said that what humans need is to work well and to love well. Only you get to decide what that means, not your dad, not anyone else. You are not his commodity. I’m so proud of what you are doing, and sharing this here means you know what’s right and right for you. Unless your dad shapes up don’t trust what he says at all. He’s not loving well.
__________________
“How do you give someone a piece of the sky?”
—The Book Thief
Hugs from:
Bill3, downandlonely, Fuzzybear
Thanks for this!
Bill3, Discombobulated, downandlonely, Fuzzybear
  #10  
Old Apr 07, 2022, 02:14 AM
SubhashBhat SubhashBhat is offline
Account Suspended
 
Member Since: Apr 2022
Location: chandigarh
Posts: 17
There are many people who do not understand what mental health is and why it is important. I’d suggest you to be positive about yourself and not allow anyone’s opinion to describe you.
Thanks for this!
Discombobulated, downandlonely, wordshaker
  #11  
Old May 02, 2022, 02:01 AM
Ayush Chakarvarti Ayush Chakarvarti is offline
Account Suspended
 
Member Since: Apr 2022
Location: chandigarh
Posts: 20
It’s important to know what is wrong with your mental health. If nothing feels good, you must consider getting in touch with a therapist who will recommend lifestyle changes that will bring positivity into your life.
  #12  
Old May 06, 2022, 12:19 AM
UpasanaGajraj UpasanaGajraj is offline
Account Suspended
 
Member Since: Apr 2022
Location: chandigarh
Posts: 7
Not everyone knows that there is an issue with their mental health until it gets worse. This is why you are told to speak out about how you feel before you start taking the burden of your emotions which results in anxiety and depression.
Reply
Views: 1358

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:57 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.