[Fuzzybear]

A skill that might de-escalate conflict.. any conflict. I'm sure many know about it, although in some situations it can be hard to put into practice. I did not learn this from any professional. In fact if I'm honest more than one therapist intentionally triggered me (to make me angry and hurt...or more hurt that is nuts in my book )

Anyway, it's not rocket science but here it is.

HALT

Are you Hungry?

Angry?

Lonely?

Tired?

At least some of those are temporary feelings (hopefully, or can be worked on)

Just flinging it out there in case it helps anyone, even anyone reading logged out. I notice many ''guests'' reading on msf, (not only now, it's always been the case) I'm guessing some have never posted.

I hope this makes sense. It can probably be looked up easily in case my explanation doesn't make much sense.

Respect to all

[Yaowen]

Thank you for sharing that, Fuzzybear.

[Breaking Dawn]

So I could ask those questions to myself about myself or the other person. Maybe one of us or both of us are tired, or hungry, etc. Not you. I mean this hypothetical other person.

[Fuzzybear]

Beginners mind - ''in the beginner's mind there are infinite possibilities because we come to it afresh''

This has tremendous transformative qualities associated with it...

It helps them, and it also helps us.

Non judgmental mind (we have ideas and opinions about almost everything)

Not to judge the judging

Cultivating discernment, clarity, wisdom...

(someone just posted a link, my brief post ''sucks'', I just don't have time to write it properly right now..)

[lizardlady]

Fuzzy, I learned about HALT awhile back. If I remember correctly it comes from a recovery program.

Any case, the point is that when we are distressed we can ask ourselves are we Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired? If so what can we do to address the problem. I find it helps me to be able to have something tangible to do that helps.

Thanks for posting this. It is a good tool to add to our toolbox.

[mote.of.soul]

Yes Fuzzy I hear you.🙏

I do know about, and know of, people who use the "HALT = hungry, angry, lonely, tired" technique, yes. Right at the start of my journey into self-change, the HALT concept was (and likely still is) emphasised quite a bit in the alcohol/drug recovery sphere - as a self awareness to help regulate the person's responses to, in particular, triggering stimuli. It's asking the person who might be struggling within themselves, to look at those 4 fundamental areas and to address them in the moment or just in general, as a way towards a more stabilised inner self. And I really do think there's positive value in that Fuzzy. It's not saying those 4 areas are the only things to change or be aware of, but the psych world does identify them as key areas. And I'd agree to that extent.

It's interesting because even just last night after someone on the internet said something horrible about animals which triggered in me quite an extreme (I thought) emotional response of inner rage, hate; I said to myself 'look at the HALT symptoms'. And I was in fact hungry and tired, and of course lonely, so I just decided to try and let go of the feelings and make an early dinner, which I did. After that, I just let everything wash over me then went and had a lie down. That was it. And that's a far more healthy approach than what I would've done before I became aware of any self-change techniques like HALT.

Thank you Fuzzy.🙏

[*Beth*]

Thank you so much, Fuzzy! A very many years ago I worked at a social service agency for at-risk teens. I loved that job and part of the reason I did was because my supervisor was an incredibly wise, mellow Japanese man. In one of our training exercises he taught us HALT. What a basic, but smart tool it is! I used it for a long time, but had forgotten about it. Now I will start using it again.

[lemonSys]

@Fuzzybear —

I have never heard HALT before so I thank you much for posting it. Simple + effective (I read mote’s account of using it recently) is paramount. I made note of it in my journal.

On a similar note, if I may, share a grounding technique I find useful. Have you (or anyone reading that cares to comment) heard of the
“5-4-3-2-1 senses” thing? I use it with the icky flashbacky stuffs,

Name:
5 things you can SEE
4 things you can HEAR
3 things you can TOUCH
2 things you can SMELL
1 thing you can TASTE

So, yeah. For what it’s worth, I guess.

— lemonSys

[Travelinglady]

I'd not heard of HALT either. Thanks, Fuzzy.

And thanks for the grounding technique, lemon.