[OafFish]

The usual, too many questions, too much or too little consideration or respect, too much personal investment. Now just stand back and watch it crumble

[Yaowen]

So sorry that you are in this situation. Wish I knew what to say to help.

[OafFish]

Originally Posted by Yaowen

So sorry that you are in this situation. Wish I knew what to say to help.

Thank you, I'm not sure there is any helping, I don't know enough about friendship to practice it responsibly and maybe it's just better to not try.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm wondering how long you've known this person for? I'm sorry you're in this situation. Maybe if you give a bit more information more people might reply. Have you tried posting in the ''relationships'' forum here?

''too much or too little consideration or respect''....? (I'm unsure if I fully understand this..)

I'm wondering if you have been diagnosed with any disorder? Are you in therapy?

(sorry ''too many questions'' here...)

I'm sending positive vibes, hoping things improve for you!

[OafFish]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I'm wondering how long you've known this person for? I'm sorry you're in this situation. Maybe if you give a bit more information more people might reply. Have you tried posting in the ''relationships'' forum here?


''too much or too little consideration or respect''....? (I'm unsure if I fully understand this..)


I'm wondering if you have been diagnosed with any disorder? Are you in therapy?


(sorry ''too many questions'' here...)


I'm sending positive vibes, hoping things improve for you!

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I didn't see relationships, I should have posted there.
This one has been about 2 months, but none of them end any different.
Yes I'm disordered, depression and anxiety and probably other things.
Anyway thank you for your good wishes, I do appreciate them.

[eskielover]

DBT (interpersonal effectiveness section) & a wonderful therapist truly helped me learn. Learn when to walk away from some people. Not everyone is meant to be our friend & we need to sense that BEFORE we invest ourselves in trying to force something to become a REAL friendship.

I have learned to keep people I first meet at acquaintance level. Then slowly get to know them without trying to force anything. Sometimes the more I get to know someone, the more I determine just how incompatible I am with them & the acquaintance just slowly fades away.

[Discombobulated]

I agree with the above, in my experience true close friends are few and far between. I used to get sad because acquaintanceships would fizzle out, but I now realise they weren’t meant to be. That’s okay. Doesn’t mean anyone is at fault, just not compatible for close friendship.

That’s not to say we shouldn’t reflect at all when someone drifts out of our life, there might be things we can learn from. It’s rarely one persons fault though.

Also sometimes friends grow apart

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by OafFish

The usual, too many questions, too much or too little consideration or respect, too much personal investment. Now just stand back and watch it crumble

Who is asking too many questions/too much or too little consideration or respect, etc.? How long have you known the person? Where did you meet?

[OafFish]

Originally Posted by *Beth*

Who is asking too many questions/too much or too little consideration or respect, etc.? How long have you known the person? Where did you meet?

Respect is tricky. It's distance and careful consideration of boundaries and consents. Getting close while navigating respect is always a challenge for me, I err too much towards caution. The natural ability people seem to have to sense the flow of acceptable closeness eludes me.
It's pretty annoying for people to dance with such a clumsy partner.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by OafFish

Respect is tricky. It's distance and careful consideration of boundaries and consents. Getting close while navigating respect is always a challenge for me, I err too much towards caution. The natural ability people seem to have to sense the flow of acceptable closeness eludes me.
It's pretty annoying for people to dance with such a clumsy partner.

I'm wondering if this is a romantic relationship, or a friend? And I'm wondering too where you met? I'm not sure that everyone has a natural ability to sense the flow of acceptable closeness, some places are harder than others. My husband always has said he is a clumsy dancer, I think he dances just fine. I wonder if you might be on the ASD spectrum? I don't know, it's just a guess.

Hugs

[Fuzzybear]

How are you now Oatfish?

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by OafFish

Respect is tricky. It's distance and careful consideration of boundaries and consents. Getting close while navigating respect is always a challenge for me, I err too much towards caution. The natural ability people seem to have to sense the flow of acceptable closeness eludes me.
It's pretty annoying for people to dance with such a clumsy partner.

Good post about respect. I think you're ''better'' at this stuff than you think you are.

Respect and hugs

The whole forum accepts and loves a oaffish

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by OafFish

Respect is tricky. It's distance and careful consideration of boundaries and consents. Getting close while navigating respect is always a challenge for me, I err too much towards caution. The natural ability people seem to have to sense the flow of acceptable closeness eludes me.
It's pretty annoying for people to dance with such a clumsy partner.

Erring on the side of caution is always best. Saves you from having to get out of messy friendships that shouldn't have been in the first place