I was discriminated because of my appearance

This is true and could even be written into the business insurance.

Yeah I know about regional accents. I spend a lot of time in UK (don’t live there). I am not a native English speaker though so I have accent speaking English regardless if I am in the US or UK. My English is clear though and it’s American version so in the US it’s not an issue, in UK I am sometimes misunderstood and people ask what I mean. I really don’t care if people look down on me. I am trilingual. Boo hoo so I have an accent.

When I was younger, I worried what people think of me or how they look at me. People do judge others. But we probably judge others too. And people often assume they are being judged, when really no one cares, they just follow the rules or deal with their own issues. So by assuming we are being judged, we pass on judgements on those supposedly “judgemental” people. All while they don’t even care, so who judges who then. That’s just how we humans are. Nature of the beast

I do agree with the advice to try ignoring what others might think about us. It’s not easy though. My husband has Tourette’s. Talking about people passing uneducated judgement and downright being bullies. People could be plain evil

That is so true

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calla lily12 You know what makes me mad?? When someone says OR calls the police because someone "looked suspicious". What does that even mean??

CallaLilly, I used to work at a food delivery business that was open until 2am. One night the assistant manager and I were at the front counter in the wee hours of the morning. A guy came in wearing a motorcycle helmet with full face mask. The assistant manager, using a joking tone of voice, asked if he was going to remove the helmet or did she need to hit the panic button. They both treated it like a joke, but I noticed she had her had near the button. Covering your face and entering a cash based business is "suspicious" behavior.

Given the number of members here who have been assaulted in the past, I am surprised at how many people are making judgements of people who are trusting their own inner voice warning them of potential danger. We advocate listening to that inner voice. Some times what might be perceived as discrimination might be a person keeping themself safe.

Before anyone jumps on me for advocating discrimination - I am not. I have no patience with people who dislike others for their appearance. I have experienced and witnessed it. It's just plain wrong.

I am struggling to say this next part and not insult anyone...

Businesses should be allowed to restrict access to their site. Would you allow a stranger in your house if they knocked on the door and asked to use the bathroom? I used to work out of an office in a strip center full of other offices. At least once a week we'd get someone come in and as to use the bathroom
It was not a drop in kind of business. We told them "no" because we had no idea who these people were or what they might do. It was a safety issue for us. As far as I'm concerned other businesses have the right to say no also.

For 15 years I worked in a funky indie coffeehouse/cafe. People could use the bathrooms freely, whether customer or not. Every now and then,

Possible trigger:

because someone had used the bathroom to shoot up, whoever was on shift had to clean up any blood that had spilled. Sometimes that meant dumping the garbage can that had a few bloody tp's and a used syringe in it. Sometimes it meant cleaning the ceiling because someone had shot a bit of blood up there (to let other junkies know the bathroom was a safe place to shoot up).

Once someone must have hit a vein or I swear, an artery because I opened the bathroom door and blood was everywhere. On the floor, splattered across the sink, on the wall, and of course, in the garbage, along with a plastic syringe. Fortunately, I had a co-worker that night (I usually worked the night shift alone). He helped me clean everything up. I had blood on my shoes, even, from stepping in it.

So bathrooms, yeah, iffy places.

That's a hazard. Most places won't let their employees clean up blood anymore.

I agree. Extremely dangerous.

Yes I do know what you mean I was talking about those moments when someone ,for no reason at all deems someone suspicious.
I would never discount your gut feeling. I guess theses a fine line between being cautious and discrimination.

I think when we demand that employees extend their kindness to strangers in detriment to their own employment (violating company’s policies) and to detriment to their own safety, we need to remember to extend our kindness to employees who have to follow company’s policies and who need to feel safe in their work place. Judgment goes both ways.

Since I'm having a sensitive/ b*tchy evening I'd better stop responding.

I used to work in a restaurant and a customer had walked in and informed us how bad the men restrooms was and pointed out which customers it was that left the restaurant room messy and my ex boyfriend ended up being the one who had to clean the bathroom up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy That's a hazard. Most places won't let their employees clean up blood anymore.

This wasn't that long ago, and yes - it was a biohazard. But like I said, it was a very indie coffeehouse...the owner didn't pay much attention to laws. We wore plastic gloves to clean up all the blood in the bathroom. But it still got on my shoes.

A lot of businesses have signs saying they have the right to refuse service to anyone. I don’t know if that includes using the restrooms. And along those lines I see signs saying “No public restrooms”.

I know where all the restrooms are in my area but still avoid drinking anything until I reach my destination, unless I know there’s a restroom there. Even so I could get stuck in traffic. Rule of thumb for me is to watch what I drink and eat unless I’m at home. No bathroom restrictions there.

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Posted directly on site using iphone

True. My dentist has an office in an office complex. The restrooms are locked and you need a key from the business you’re going to. This seems common in office buildings or suites of offices.

I guess it’s a complex issue, making snap decisions based on gut, past experience and the person’s appearance. All I know is that you have to go sooner or later and wish it was something not to worry about. As it is we have enough going on in the world.

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Posted directly on site using iphone

That is so true

Bottom line is that it's cruel not to allow people to use a restroom. Plenty of people have issues that cause them to need a restroom. We're human animals, so let's be real.

Well take it from the person who has issues and has to use the bathroom every hour and have been in dire situations of having to go like right now, so I am not like this heartless person thinking everyone should pee their pants.

But by this logic should we:

Allow random people walk in the school building to use the restroom? They have to pee. It’s cruel not to let them.

Day care?

Nursery?

Nursing home?

Children’s home?

Allow random people use the restroom in your work place despite the fact that you are told by the administration that you absolutely cannot let general public in. Should you risk your job and risk losing income to feed your kids and should you lose health insurance? Should you violate your work place policies?

In the face of multiple mass shootings, should we allow people to freely walk anywhere and do anything? Their need to pee or poop or vomit doesn’t trump employees’ and other customers’ safety.

It all sounds very good on paper. It’s naive. All hold hands and hug each other, but that’s not how world works. That’s not how it works. There are places that have public restrooms. And there are places that absolutely do not it. And that’s just how it is.

I'm sorry the OP had the experience of once, years ago being told it was okay to use the bathroom, and the rules then changing years later when they had to use that bank's bathroom again, but policies do change. I think the message / lesson to be learned is that many banks don't have a public restroom due to safety policies put in place, and that next time, it's better to find a mcdonalds, public library, grocery store, or something of that nature. Also if a stranger knocked on my door and asked to use the bathroom, I would not even open the door for them. That's me being safe, not cruel. I do hope that the OP feels better, all the same.

I suspect that rules changed because of people’s safety was jeopardized too many times. Not because anyone wanted to be cruel. We used to have schools open to general public. Main door was unlocked and so were side doors. Those times are long gone. World changed. So we have to adapt. We have to use reason.

Whoa, @divine1966. Sometimes I type when I'm tired, or distracted, or in my own mind too deeply, perhaps. I was, maybe only in my own mind, responding to owl's comment about places with a certain type of signage. That kind of sign is usually hung in a restaurant, cafe, coffeehouse, etc. My opinion is that it is okay (at the discretion of the employee(s) to allow someone to use the restroom in an eating establishment.

Did I meet your verbiage standard?
Good. Or...not good.
Either way, I'm done with the discussion.

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966 I suspect that rules changed because of people’s safety was jeopardized too many times. Not because anyone wanted to be cruel. We used to have schools open to general public. Main door was unlocked and so were side doors. Those times are long gone. World changed. So we have to adapt. We have to use reason.

Just to clarify: It was a different bank.

My verbiage standard? What do you mean?

You never said anything about eating places or “sometimes” it’s ok to do something.

You said it’s cruel to not let people use the restroom. I don’t know who owl is.

My response is that not letting whoever to use the restroom in places that don’t have public restrooms (usually due to safety concerns) has absolutely nothing to do with cruelty.

Actually OP said years ago she was allowed to use her banks restroom and now she isn’t. Same bank. We have no ways to know why the rules changed or what happened years ago

As everyone on this thread pointed out banks don’t have public restrooms for safety reasons. OP went to the subway. And that’s the right course of action. It has a public restroom.

This story is made into something that it isn’t. Some places don’t have public restrooms for a reason-usually safety. Then you have to go to the place that has the restroom

Thread has run its course. Thank you for participating. Thread is now closed.