Difference Between "Empathy" and "Encouraging a Self-Destructive Mindset"?

I'm trying to solve the mysteries of why most of my interpersonal relationships are somewhat frictious. I think it comes down to empathy and a lack of it on my part. There's one way in which I'm really an oddity: When I have a problem, I want a solution as quickly as possible, and I really couldn't care less if other people recognize and empathize with the problem I'm having. In my little world, "I'm depressed" is no different than "the sink is leaking" or "the car is making a weird noise". My number one priority is to fix whatever is wrong so that I can get back to what I enjoy in life. I might discuss it later once I've solved it, but in the moment, I'm not interested in "venting" or making sure that others can validate my feelings. I want it solved.

I've learned the hard way that most people do not function like this. I have a hard time wrapping my mind around how they do function, but I gather that empathy is part of it. They want assurance that their feelings are valid (whatever that means) and to know that others care. Say someone's mother died. I understand that's painful, and I have no problem being your shoulder to cry on and listen to your thoughts and feelings about it without forcing you to listen to my opinion. But is there a point where empathy is not really the best thing?

Imagine different situations. What if someone is positively enraged that, say, another car got in front of them and went 5mph slower than their desired speed? What if someone persistently engages in self-deprecating thinking that is destroying their ability to function? What if someone has an irrational fear that is paralyzing their personal lives? Obviously, in these last few examples, the people would do better for themselves if they would work on fixing those issues (and I've struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts, so I'm not saying this from a standpoint of "why can't everyone just be perfect like me and solve all their problems"). What worries me is that unlimited empathy in these situations could lead these people to put off actually working on the root of the problem. I've known people who suffer from issues like these and never show any desire to move past the issue and get on with life. It's just hard for me to continue giving unconditional empathy when I notice this.

Most of us have probably heard of the concept of "enablers" with regards to alcohol/drug addiction - we are told that we have to avoid doing things that protect the addicted individual from the consequences of their actions. Isn't it possible that such a dynamic might be in play with other emotional issues as well? That's what I worry about. The thing that seems compassionate is not always the best thing in the long run. There are times when my own thoughts/actions were causing problems in my life, and people had to point it out to me. I'm grateful for those who did, because it pushed me to actually resolve those deeper issues and live a better life, even though it may have been painful to hear such a thing the first time around.

A lot of people think I'm a cold, selfish person, but I don't see it that way. I want everyone to have true, lasting inner peace and joy. But I've laid out the difficulty I'm having in telling the difference between empathy and enabling self-harming thoughts, and this is what makes it challenging for me to tell what it means to do "the right thing" for someone.

I know I'm very different than others, and my main preoccupation these days is trying to figure out if that's something I can and should change (read a lot of neuroscience about personality and the degree to which we're born with it) or if a big circle of close relationships is just incompatible with my nature. This is part of my attempt to find the answers.

I appreciate everyone's input, and as always, may you be happy, peaceful, and free of suffering.