[Reina-Rena]

Hello Everyone (Im sorry if this gets a little lengthy)

I am currently 16 years old, and although I am still a child I feel as though my mind is WAY older than most children my age. For some time now I have been regretting some actions that I have done in my early adolescent years (ages 12 and younger). It scares me because I know most teenages could care less about what they did when they were 12, or much less even remember. Before I go any further I would like to announce that I have been diagnosed with OCD and anxiety. It all started in middle school (6th grade) I began hanging out with all the popular girls and started to act like them instead of myself. I wanted to fit in and I wanted everyone to like me. I knew that if all the other kids found out who I really was, they would think I was a nerd and wouldnt like me. This countinued into 7th grade. In the middle of 7th grade, I realized that I wanted to be myself, and to stop acting like everyone eles was. I am currently in the 10th grade and I am stressed out about all the actions I did in my early middle school years. If anyone can relate to this, please reply.

[FooZe]

Originally Posted by Reina-Rena

For some time now I have been regretting some actions that I have done in my early adolescent years (ages 12 and younger). It scares me because I know most teenages could care less about what they did when they were 12, or much less even remember.

Beyond finding yourself thinking about those "actions", how are they actually affecting you now? For instance, is someone else bringing up bits of your history -- "Look what you used to do! Neener, neener!" -- to get the better of you in an argument or something? Or is this just between you and yourself?

You do have one very good excuse, should you choose to use it: you were only 12, or 11, or 10 or whatever -- and aren't kids that age supposed to learn things the hard way a lot?

I can imagine that if you were worried about something that was going on for you now, you might wonder if, say, some of it might not be cosmic justice -- consequences or even punishment for something you did back then. I can also imagine you thinking, "Hey! If I did that back then, how do I know I won't do something even dumber tomorrow?" I don't know if it's any consolation, but we all have that problem -- though some of us worry about it more than others.

--------------------------
So I said to myself, I said, "Self..."

[TheArdentSavage]

I can relate to you here. I often remember things I've done in the past that have embarrassed me or made me feel bad in whatever way, but not just from childhood though. Pretty much anything I've done that made me feel guilty or bad I remember it and will sometimes get stuck thinking about it alot. It is annoying because then i become pretty angry or upset over it, even though it happened a few months a go, a few years ago, way too long ago to even think about!

I don't really know what advice to give for it though. just to let you know you aren't alone in it.

[Reina-Rena]

Thank you both for your replys. Its so good to know that people are willing to help me with these issues...Its good to know that Im not alone.

The answer to your question Fool Zero, is between me and myself. It seems as though my mind is preventing me from moving foward. It makes me feel as though Im not good enough to enjoy everyday things...My mind says things such as "You dont deserve to have fun and be happy..." and "you are always going to have to live with these regrets..." I really do want to leave the past behind me, but my mind will not allow it.

[sunflower55]

Please know that part of growing up is trying on "different hats." We all need to find out who we are. And sometimes, that means that we do things that we regret later on while we were acting as a part of one group or another.

It's normal.

Please let it go. Learn from it. Make meaning from it if you can. In each and every situation in our lives, we can grow. What have you learned from this situation? What meaning for your life have you aquired?

If you can do this, then you are a success. And you can be proud.

Peace!

[Sannah]

Rena, do you feel guilty?

[youOme]

That's just how it goes and to me you being aware of yourself like you are at this age is a very good sign. This means you'll always be aware of yourself and your behaviors. You should be proud. As far as feeling guilty for things you did as a kid, that's no biggie. I recommend just letting that go. As a sociology major, I can tell you that preteens and teens almost always conform in some way or another, it's apart of socializing, which is human nature. Don't feel guilty for that, everyone has done this.

[AAAAA]

You sound like a very responsible, mature young woman. Give yourself a break and concider yourself lucky that you learned this lesson so early in life. Many people do not learn to be themselves until much later in life. You cannot change the things you've done in the past the only healthy productive thing is learning from your mistakes and do your best not to repeat them. I am not trying to make light of your feelings, but I don't think there is a person alive that doesn't regret things they've done.

On a side note you're not alone. The terrible two's are famous for being the most difficult time in a child's life, I disagree. I think it's somewhere in the 11 - 13 age. Each one of my kids went through a period of not being themselves. They went from respectful well-mannered children to the complete opposite. It was difficult to deal with from my point of view but it was no picnic for them either. Think about all of the changes going on in your body, new hormones out of whack and you have no clue how to deal with them. Once things leveled out they returned to themselves.

[Reina-Rena]

Thank you so much everyone! I feel so much better with all of your support. I know now that everyone makes mistakes as a child and we all have to learn from them-its what makes us adults!

Thank you so very much everyone!!!

[Maven]

I feel guilty about things I did as a child and as a teenager, and even a young adult. I dwell and obsess about things, and can't seem to get past them. I feel like a horrible person much of the time, and criticism from people in my life (even ones who don't know me, have never met me or haven't seen me in years, or only once or twice) doesn't help. I know how that eats at you.

[Reina-Rena]

I think that this is something that almost everyone goes through in their lifetime. Its good to know that we are not alone...We just need to learn how to learn from these actions and make the best of them.

[Reina-Rena]

Originally Posted by Maven

I feel guilty about things I did as a child and as a teenager, and even a young adult. I dwell and obsess about things, and can't seem to get past them. I feel like a horrible person much of the time, and criticism from people in my life (even ones who don't know me, have never met me or haven't seen me in years, or only once or twice) doesn't help. I know how that eats at you.

I also dwell and obsess over things, expecially when I cant remember how a certain event played out. Sometimes I will try to look back on what I did as a child, and when I cant remember, I go crazy! We all just need to learn from our mistakes and make our lives better. Everyone makes mistakes, and its our resonsibility to learn and grow from them. You are not alone Maven!

[Maven]

Thanks, Reina-Rena!