I feel like I have 10 different personalities

I don’t mean literally but metaphorically, internally I feel like this all the time and it stays in a way of me getting treatment or ever feel at peace with myself because all these parts of me seem always to be in conflict with each other. So for example, I get really depressed to the point of being suicidal so I decide to go therapy, I make an appointment but in a few days I feel better and foolish for making such a big deal of something that suddenly doesn’t feel important at all, so I cancel that appointment and decide that I should probably just exercise more to get some more endorphins. So I go for a run but then I am a sensitive artist, what if being happy ruins my artistic side? So then I actually decide that it would be much better for me to focus on my art, so I start working on it but then I hate what I create, call myself a fraud and decide that instead I should probably just focus on my regular job, so for quite some time I make it a point to work extra hard but then I get tired and kinda sad again, so I am thinking about therapy again but then I figure out I have no time for therapy anymore because I decided to take all those art lessons that I don’t even go to anymore and already wasted a lot of my money on something I don’t feel like doing anymore. And it’s like this my whole life. It is driving me so crazy, I don’t even know what to do anymore. I have this constant clutter in my mind that I can’t ever turn off and it makes my brain all foggy. The only thing that helps is constant daydreaming and making up scenarios in my mind that dissociate me from myself and the world around me even further, so then I try to stop but it’s an addiction and I can’t do it myself. I have these constant dialogues in my brain like watching a movie where I see different parts of myself arguing and disagreeing with each other and I can’t ever make them stop, making me second guess every single decision I finally make. And not second guess, obsess about every thought, idea, possibility over and over and over again until my whole world gets sucked in it and I lose touch with everything else. Like being obsessed with psychopathology, I have read the DSM-V manual 7 times to try diagnose my own self and I am going to read it for the 8th because it drives me nuts how much I can see myself in everything and nothing. I have been obsessively trying to figure myself out using Jung, Freud, I have read Jung’s psychologycal types 10 times, I don’t even think Jung himself read it that many times. And I obsess and obsess and obsess over everything until it becomes totally weird to everyone, no wonder I had no friends growing up. What’s wrong with me? How do I stop this finally?