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  #1  
Old May 16, 2024, 09:00 AM
shard shard is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2023
Location: wublin island
Posts: 2
im irritable
i can barely talk to people
i have little to no common sense
im autistic
im like 5' 1''
i have no talents other than drawing and being a fool
im genderfluid
i feel zero empathy for the grieving (though I am sympathetic, like anyone cares about that)
eating at all feels guilty
the only times im happy are when im not focused, and ironically, i need to be more focused
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  #2  
Old May 16, 2024, 01:30 PM
MuddyBoots's Avatar
MuddyBoots MuddyBoots is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,765
This is your first post, and you just listed a bunch of neutral or negative traits, so I/we don't have anything to work with.

Think hard. Is there anything you like about yourself? What have others ever complimented you on? You can come up with something as a thought even if you don't feel it.
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Fuzzybear, mar dhea, mote.of.soul
  #3  
Old May 23, 2024, 01:04 PM
shard shard is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2023
Location: wublin island
Posts: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by MuddyBoots View Post
This is your first post, and you just listed a bunch of neutral or negative traits, so I/we don't have anything to work with.

Think hard. Is there anything you like about yourself? What have others ever complimented you on? You can come up with something as a thought even if you don't feel it.
Ah, forgot to say this was rhetorical. Sorry about that!
Also, people say i'm good at drawing and observing, but I highly doubt that. I notice things because of autism, and that comes with both blessings and curses and is therefore irrelevant.
My parents say I'm polite, but again, i don't agree. Honestly, nobody else notes it, then again, it's rare for me to get genuine compliments altogether (mostly they either are or sound like jokes).
When I ask my parents to let good things about me, most of what they list is either part of something that's both a blessing and a curse, or not something that I agree with based on experience.
This is my problem: Every time I make a small mistake, as small as not knowing something, I automatically feel stupid in every way for having made the mistake in question. I know people make mistakes, but people don't expect of them! People expect good out of me, and if I disappoint, I am best thrown in the trash and replaced!

I hope this helps.
  #4  
Old May 23, 2024, 05:40 PM
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MuddyBoots MuddyBoots is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,765
Ahh, I see. Still a good topic. Seems like you tend to minimize the good and focus on the flaws. I do this too. Mistakes are made, yeah, but they're learning experiences, not failures. Hell, even if you don't learn from them they're still experiences If people say you draw well, there has to be some validity to that especially if it was multiple people. I suck at drawing and never had anyone say that to me.

Also, fk expectations. If you try to make yourself seem like something you're not, you will always either not live up to that ideal or eventually slip up. I learned that doing that in my relationships, haha, just haven't learned to apply that yet. You are what you are, they get what they get. If you're not what they want, there's always someone else that appreciates you enough to want you around. This is just my personal belief, but I don't think there is anybody that doesn't have a place in the world. It just may be hard to find it.
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  #5  
Old May 25, 2024, 06:43 PM
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mar dhea mar dhea is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2022
Location: na
Posts: 3,338
Muddy, you are one insightful individ. Shard, Mud's words are honest insight. Going through your list I find I mirror some of where you're coming from though we're likely pretty different. One example would be negative self-perception. It's one that comes standard with a whole host of illnesses. The resulting depression is the string that knots most of us here together.

There's no judging here Shard. Most know what it's like to feel hurt and in that knowledge tend to be very respectful to others. The excellent moderators and management here are diligent in ensuring that. I think knowing there's a community peopled by those with similar experience can be hugely supportive. I'm not the most gregarious type but this site serves as an great place to decompress. It's not as hard to open up here. Most of all it represents a place where I can feel safe in just being me.
Thanks for this!
mote.of.soul
  #6  
Old Jun 02, 2024, 11:31 AM
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Travelinglady Travelinglady is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 49,204
You're taller than I am! (As an older lady, I am now 4'9".)

You know when to ask for help!
Thanks for this!
Bill3, mote.of.soul
  #7  
Old Jul 07, 2024, 03:35 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,502
You were brave enough to post here.

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Bill3
  #8  
Old Aug 16, 2024, 04:30 PM
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mote.of.soul mote.of.soul is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,648
I bet you're respectful when interacting with people. Doesn't matter what you think about them, I feel you're respectful. If so , then that's a good thing.
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"A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."- Dōgen
  #9  
Old Aug 18, 2024, 02:57 PM
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SquarePegGuy SquarePegGuy is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2020
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 853
Welcome, @shard

Your neurodivergency provides you wtih a unique perspective, You can use a comuter. And you can spel better than me. You win!
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Major Depressive Disorder; Sleep Apnea; possibly on the spectrum
Nuvigil 50mg; Wellbutrin 150mg; meds for blood pressure & cholesterol
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