[bbxo]

Hey everyone. Please bare with me since this will be a long post. I am mainly looking for advice, opinions, what have you. I am not sure if i a being paranoid or if i should be taking a closer look.

I am having some concerns about the wellbeing of my sisters. I am 26 and married, living in our own place and trying to start a family. I moved out when i was 19, and ever since me and my mothers relationship has plummeted. We always had a rocky one, shes a severe narcissist and has controlling and manipulative tendencies. I was always an extention of her, so choices were made for me, and when i tried to make my own, it would cause an argument and i would usually end up having privileges taken away, or the choice i did make was heavily influenced by her, because i didnt want to disappoint her.

I have a brother who is 4 years younger than me, and has always been extremely sick. These ailments were 100% accurate, i was on the frontline of most the appointments and saw paperwork and results firsthand. Recently though, around 2020, he was diagnosed with a rare form of a blood disorder. She immediately began telling everyone that he wouldnt live very long, wouldnt have a good quality of life, wouldnt be able to drive, work, or move out on his own. Very little was known about his condition at the time, so it was very scary, but none of his doctors were saying anything she was saying. Eventually, with testing and more info about his condition, it is a very manageable disorder and it overall wont affect him or his quality of life, as long as he keeps up with the outlined course of treatment. He still lives at home, recently turned 22 years old, still doesnt drive, and he works with our dad so he is always with someone.

About a year ago, my younger sister, we will call her G, had an incident at school resulting in an injured knee. My mom pulled both her and my other sister, D out of school. There was some confusion on my part about what exactly happened, and when i had asked her about any camera footage of the incident, she shut me down and stopped talking about it. I have seen some digital copies of her appointments, but the narrative my mom gives me sometimes doesnt add up with whats in the record, or even when i take to the internet for my own research purposes. Over the course of the past year, she has been to so many appointments, and multiple doctors and locations but i have yet to receive any updated news about where she is at medically. Since this "knee injury", she has been given crutches, and even a wheelchair. My mom says that she needs these because her knee will "lock up" so she needs the extra support to hold herself up. This past Halloween, me and my spouse took both girls (my brother came-we think as a "chaperone") trick or treating. I had to remind G to bring her crutches with her, since she was trying to leave without them. She told me that she didnt think she would need them, and i said she should bring them anyway just in case. I thought this was odd, since it was made out to be like that relied heavily on these. We had also noticed that she no problem walking up and down our flight of stairs, and eventually began running, and then actually started jumping from the stairs to our couch, multiple times. This concerned me significantly since she was behaving in the complete opposite manner in which my mom desrcibes when shes home. I did not mention this to my mom at drop off. She messaged me the following day and told me that G was in a lot of pain, and that she "overdid it yesterday." What i couldnt understand, was why G was being reckless to begin with. She is 12 years old, she is more than capable of comprehending her situation and wouldve known that she shouldnt have been messing around on the stairs like she was. But also-since my brother picks up most of the slack when it comes to G when her knee "locks up" I thought it was bizarre he didnt intervene and try to stop the reckless behavior either.

I have not seen them since then. I ahve tried and tried and i get excuses everytime. We have offered outings, and every single time i am told no, and told that G "cant do that because of her knee", even something as silly as booking a hotel with them for the night and hanging out at the pool wasnt allowed. I was told that her physical therapist said that the pool would be a fall risk, however pools are a part of PT in my area, so that didnt make sense either.

G is not usually allowed to go anywhere-and if so it is completely conditional. Shes required to bring these "accomadations" that she doesnt even use when shes not around my mom. When we brought the kiddos home after Halloween, as soon as G walked inside, she began sobbing, saying she didnt feel well, said she needed her nausea medication and wanted to lay down. My mom immediately started coddling her and telling her to take a breath and that it was gonna be okay.

I have seen pictures and videos from what my mom has recorded and sent to me. Its usually G crying and whining to my mom, and my mom asking her quesitions about why she is in pain. The way things are phrased, and the way that G will answer, sometimes comes across as either previously rehearsed, or G is being led in what to say. The "distress" she is in during these videos, is very obvious that it is a show, there are no real tears, she usually stumbles over her words, and she doesnt seem to be in any actual pain. Also-if your child is supposedly in that much pain, why are you recording her and not trying to do something about it?

I, myself growing up never had many health issues, but i did have some that were random, no real cause or explantion. The "ailments" i had as a child, have never reoccured again.

My sister D, has ADHD and dyslexia, but other than that she is thriving. Since G gets all the attention, D gets put on the back burner and is leftto fend for herself or pick up slack for G. She is very aware of this, and has made countless comments to me about her prescence "just being there" and she doesnt get any attention. My mom has acknowledged this, in front of me and then laughed about it. She has absoltelty no care in the world that D is being neglected.

I recently had a falling out with my mom, mainly about the holidays. She didnt respect the boundary i had set, which was that we would plan something for AFTER the actual holiday, as the holidays were being spent just me and my spouse at home. We had plans to take the girls on an outing to a local museum for Christmas, but we were ignored as Christmas got closer and then told at the last minute that the girls "didnt have time." I had also started questioning her regarding G, and she was becoming increasingly annoyed with me that i was no longer taking her word for what was going on. I have been skepitcal about this whole scenario since it started a year ago, but theres some things that have happened that i cannot look past.

After pulling both girls from school because of the "incident", she let them return this past fall. I didnt understand that either, if this place is where she was injured, and shes going through all these appointments, needing crutches, etc etc, then why would you send her back? Including D! G's IEP for school was updated, and my mom had it revised so G can pretty much do whatever she wants while at school, and she cant be held accountable for it.

Would it be too far fetched if my mom was suffering from some form of Munchausen? i want whats best for those girls, and the enviornment i grew up in was extremely unhealthy, but shes gotten much worse over the years and i am growing concerned that it is spiraling into something else.
Thank you for taking the time to read, and i look forward to feedback.

[divine1966]

Well if you believe that your siblings are being treated poorly or their health is in jeopardy, you could call CPS.

Other than that we can’t tell what’s really happening. Your expectations of being provided with footage of the incidents or updates of their medical appointments are somewhat unusual. Your mother isn’t obligated to update you. You don’t have any guardianship of these children.

Again if you are concerned, call CPS. Other than that your rights in regards to these kids are limited or in fact non existent. I understand you care about your siblings but some of your expectations are unrealistic. You “questioning” your mother isn’t going to get you far

PS I wonder if your mom doesn’t want you to babysit them anymore because the injured one was engaged in dangerous behaviors. Why were they allowed to jump from the stairs on to the couch? That’s pretty out there. Typically jumping on the furniture is not a good idea under any circumstances and surely is a terrible idea after knee injury.

[Tart Cherry Jam]

It could be Munchausen by proxy, Facts on Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome and How it Affects Kids

But it would be very hard for you to get to the truth if indeed such is the case, Munchausen by proxy.