[Meloveulongtime]

I've been sick almost 50 years with little relief. I have trouble relating to myself and others and severe mood disorder. I've been better since starting 2 meds in hospital in April but not 100 percent. My NP says I'm chronic and have to live like this. She is one of better Drs I've seen but she downplays my problems (like all doctors). I told her my motivation fluctuates real bad and she said "You're doing more than when I first saw you". She doesn't really care about my quality of life like all doctors I've seen. She told me I'm autistic and schizoaffective. I was shocked when I heard that. I hate living like this. I want to be like everyone else and enjoy my life. I'm not a statistic on a chart. I've seen some really bad doctors in my life and I don't want to change Drs.

[CANDC]

Welcome to MSF @Meloveulongtime - I am sorry your doctor is not more sensitive . That must be challenging for you.

I was disappointed when I found out doctors have no time to be therapists and can be kind of standoffish in part because they are timed by the hospitals and need to see more patients.

Another thing I learned was there is no medical cure but only maintenance of symptoms, yet some people make a wonderful life for themselves despite the adversity they face. I am trying to do that but it is not always successful.

CANDC

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[Meloveulongtime]

@CANDC
They're all the same. They downplay your problems. I've seen tons of Drs in and out of the hospital and been abused and ignored in most hospitals.
One horrible Dr 30 years ago called me a shmuck and a Chinese resident yelled at me when I said I was anxious, he threw his book down and yelled and put me on stelazine and was going to put me in a State Hospital.
I'm glad all that's over. I've doing better last few months and I'm lucky. I was very suicidal earlier in the year.

[CANDC]

Glad you have moved on from those experiences as there seems to be no benefit on focusing on them.

What kind of activities do you find get you through the day? I am doing 5 minute Tai Chi or Adrienne complete beginner yoga on youtube.

CANDC
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[eskielover]

Sadly it is only a doctors job to figure out (guess) what medications they can prescribe that can cover up the symptoms. If we get better & don't need the medications, they no longer have us paying them for their job.

Therapists on the other hand, it is their job to teach us skills we can learn to apply to our own lives to help ourselves function better. Sometimes it cures the problem, sometimes it just makes us more functional while still having the problem. They can only teach the skills, we have to do ALL THE WORK of implementing those skills. This is a lot of work needed on our own part in the process of healing.

I have gone through a lot of what you describe until years later I found the best therapist ever. Our DBT group & she individually taught me skills I didn't have, new ways of looking at things & reinforced the skills I did have. It is so wonderful to be well & functional & not just have symptoms covered up. We all have out limitations, but to be functional within those limitations should be our goal to work toward. I truly believe that the skills we learn to implement in our lives goes a lot farther in helping us than the meds doctors prescribe (some are necessary....but it is the skills that truly help)

[forestx5]

Doctors hate us because we make them feel incompetent for not being able to cure our sickness. I was 56 when I came to understand the event that made me overtly mentally ill. I had suffered
for 40 years in ignorance and fear over the horrible event that changed my life. I had seen more than a half dozen mental health experts, a neurologist and several psychiatrists, and none could give me insight into
the etiology of my illness. Through my own research I learned that it began with an epigastric/abdominal aura and ceased only after more than 2 dozen epileptic discharges that left me with acute and chronic
deficits. It was a eureka moment when I read of the events I experienced at age 17, in a neurological research paper. I was so excited at the possibilities. I saw my psychiatrist and told him I wanted to
get an EEG. His remarks? "Go ahead and get one, I don't care." That pretty much sums up mental health treatment. I was seen by a top epileptologist at a medical center who told me the EEG showed significant pathology in my
temporal lobe consistent with someone with a history of epileptic seizure, and that I was disabled. That explained a lot and put 40 years of my life in focus. I had already taken an early retirement from my job. I think she did this as a form of apology for the incompetence I had
experienced in seeking help numerous times over those 40 years and coming up empty. It helped me financially as I began to collect SSDI and also gave my daughter $1k a month until she was out of high school. I didn't ask for any of it but
I am thankful for it. I never saw my psychiatrist again. As far as I was concerned, I was never a psychiatric patient but a neurology patient. I don't mean that the way it sounds, I just mean to say there was an explanation as to why I suffered as I did.
And I think eskielover is correct in noting that psychiatry is happy to treat symptoms without necessarily understanding the source. ECT is the most effective treatment for major depression according to the NIMH. Does psychiatry promote it? No. It makes them look stupid.
Ask them how and why it works, and they give you stupid looks. lol I suspect that most psychiatrists are miserable over their lot in life, but I guess the money they rake in helps assuage their pain.

[eskielover]

ECT is the most effective treatment for major depression according to the NIMH. Does psychiatry promote it? No. It makes them look stupid.
Ask them how and why it works, and they give you stupid looks.

On the other hand, I was treated for 13 years with major depression after having a successful aerospace computer engineering career after that field lost contracts & other companies didn't want to hire someone with a high salary....I had a "mental breakdown". My career had been my escape from my bad marriage but didn't have the clarity at the time to understand how all the pieces came together. Kept asking the psychiatrist how depression meds could help when what I needed was a job not pills. Then I had horrible side effects to the drugs & tgat just made the depression worse.

13 years later, my mom died of cancer, I sold her house & kept that money in MY trust fund & refused to give any of it to my husband. Tried to get a divorce but he fought it so I flew off to another state with my dog, bought myself a small farm with my trust money & walked away from a 33 year marriage. Go figure, my depression & anxiety that was situational went away even though I had stressful times on my own 2100 miles away from where I lived all my life in a new town whete I knew no one....but I was happy & at peace for the first time in my life. The unhappiness & marriage issues had been talked about in therapy but it wasn't until I took action to end that when my depression went away. I did find an awesome Therapist here & she taught me skills to implemrnt & I found I no longer had to fight for everything in my life which was a learning curve for me & therapy helpes. My T also helped me process the trauma I went through when I caught the home care person abusing my mom. But life has become what I always dreamed it should be like & I am surrounded by wonderful people now. The point being is that there are many different causes for major depression that even landed me on SSDI.....but neither meds nor ECT would have worked in my situation cause it was situational & no treatment in the world could fix the situation. It took me taking action to change it myself & get myself out of the trap I was in. Think that is what is so complicated with mental health is tgat there are so many underlying causes & finding the right key to understand what is needed is complex & what might work for one person could make another person worse. It's not like appendicitis.....solution....remove the appendix.

Sadly a lot of times psychiatrists don't take the time of effort to find out the real cause & even therapists don't & sometimes we are so clueless about it too. I didn't realize that leaving my marriage would help me as much as it did until I realized it did. No simple answers & sometimes even for us it is trial & error or trial & wow, it worked