[mandazzle]

I have a problem. I got really upset today from what someone said to me at school. I don't eat lunch (for reasons that can easily be identified) so I'm usually upstairs studying. Today a friend of mine and I were going to finish our work for chemistry during lunch, but he had to get his work from his locker which is upstairs. The only problem was that you can't go to your locker unless you have a pass, so we went downstairs to sneak up the stairs. He knows that I don't eat lunch and while we were walking downstairs he said "You see, this is what people do downstairs, they EAT. But you wouldn't know that you anorexic b****." I know that he didn't really mean it to be so harsh, but he doesn't know about me so this really hurt me. Then I was talking to him online and he asked how life was and I said life sucks and then he got mad and he was like you think that I didn't have a bad day? And I was like ok what happened? And he said well my friend last night said that she wanted to kill herself and now she's not talking to me. He just got all mad at me, so what am I supposed to do now? When people say things like that, things that can trigger...what am I supposed to do?

[nita1103]

ignore him 4 awhile

[RockBottom]

talk to him about it be like dont get so offended sorry i didnt know about that and id much appriciate if you didnt call me names you never know what that could do to my self esteem be straight up and honest thats the only way to fix %#@&#!

[mandazzle]

I didn't talk to him at all today. But the thing is, I can't tell him that what he said bothered me because then he would know. And trust me, he CANNOT know. No one else can know.

[Irine]

I think that it wil pass if you don`t talk that much for now and afterwards you talk like nothing and don`t mentionn it it will be o.k

Another way is what RackBottom said - to be hinest...maybe be nice too. ask how is your friend...etc.

Now - you don`t have to tell him it`s triggering or doing anyhting to your self asteem but asking kindly NOT to call you anorexic or whatever doesn`t look that strange!

he violated the very basic rules of polite behavior, so...you CAn say that you are not exactly comfortable with such words, and it`s not a must to explan everything to everybody.

[Typo]

Wow what harsh words. he probably was just snappy because he was upset and worried about his friend. But that still doesn't give him the right to be rude like that. You don't have to tell him why his words hurt him just explain it isn't right to talk to people like that. I know how you feel about the triggering.your not alone...I have really bad problems with parinoa..all it takes is for someone to say something just right or to be rude to me once and it triggers my pariona and go for days holded up in my mind convinced the world is out to get me.

[I_WMD]

Dang Manda ,,,, You know that god peep of yours says to turn the other cheek ,,,, You do not have to acknowledge the pain it caused you ,,, fall back on your faith and let that part go .

I wonder why you didn't hear this lab partner more clearly and express compassion for him ,, as to walk in the way of your savior ?

[x_BabyG_x]

Deary me, I bet that hurt.

If you cannot talk to him, then all you have to do is HANG ON an remind yourself that if your friend doesnt know about this, then he doesnt know you at all. Dont take his words personally and let it trigger you off, and even if he was worried about his friend, he flipped out at you for it and it was wrong of him to do that!

For the mean time, take care

Baby G xxx

[BalishBun]

that was not right for him to say that to you, even if he was having a bad day. That could hurt you even worse, I hope he thought about what he said. Just stay away from him for awhile and if he asks, explain to him that what your going through is tough and what he said was the wrong thing.

[mandazzle]

Holy crap, it just happened AGAIN, like 5 minutes ago. I'm at school right now in the computer room and one of my friends came in and she was like "Why are you here?" and I was like "I don't know, cause I want to be?" and she goes "Psh. Anorexic." This is really starting to bother me. Oh, and it's a different person than last time.

[SeptemberMorn]

Mandazzle, your friend is obviously having a hard time dealing with what this girl said to him. But that DOES NOT give him the right to hurt you. He obviously hasn't learned that yet.

You do NOT have to accept abuse from him or anyone else. You might want to tell these people that "It hurts me when you talk to me like that. I don't like it so STOP, please." If they don't, then don't be where they can come up to you and say hurtful things. They are telling you something about them and not so much about you.

Try as much as you can to "not let the ball roll downhill." That is to say, just because someone hurt you doesn't mean you can turn around and hurt someone else. It goes for your so-called friends, too. If you can say it without sounding mean, tell them that. That just because they are upset, it doesn't give them the right to pass their upset/hurt on to you.

TC

[mandazzle]

They aren't upset. They're just teasing me about the fact that I don't eat lunch.