[inkblot]

I've been going through the archives of an old forum I used to belong to on women's health issues. The forum wasn't able to keep funding up so it's now non-existant, but archives are still viewable.

I came across a post that I had long since forgotten about. I regularly posted jokes to this forum (only the *BEST*, of course). Then one day someone complained and they pulled the plug on all jokes from being posted. There was an uprising on the forum with everyone coming out in support for me. In short, the jokes ban was short--very short. The site made a formal humorous apology, and I became dubbed the site's "Official Joke Master".

One thing this taught me back then and again as I read it now and reflect is how much we depend on the internet for information, and also as an "escape".

We come online to socialize, to forget our troubles, and to look for support. We love our invisible online friends.

I kind of like this escape. Do I have to go back to the "real world"?

[saudade]

Hi, Inkblot.

Fine observation on the purposes of online socialization.

I have been slowly going back into the real world and it's been great, actually. Had been wondering for a while if I'd be able to carry on a "normal" conversation in real life and it turned out that, yes, I am able.

Guess most of us still are but it can get so comfortable in here that we just forget about the other side.
Yet, you and I and everybody else should basically do what they want to do, what they feel like doing and feel comfortable doing.

Also, I feel that the friends I've made here and the support that I got here have helped me a lot with this transition.

Good Luck!

[dexter]

Sometimes at my "live" support groups people poo-poo the idea of online support. I think it is because it is not a replacement for human contact, and they think I am suggesting it as an "alternative" to the live support. I always point out that the live support group meets for two hours once a week... but if I can't sleep due to anxiety I can come here at 3:00 am and find people.

To me they really complement each other. And for people in deep isolation I think it can be a good way to ease back into society.

I don't think it is a good thing if people are hiding from the world and using the internet to hide (hiding out for a short time is OK, I'm talking about long term people using it to avoid contact with others) There are exceptions to that two... people who are unable to get out, people who are working with severe problems interacting with other people...

But a lot of people assume that the "friends" in cyberspace are nothing more than a distraction from the real world. It is much more than that in a lot of cases. In some ways the interaction may be "artificial" but in many cases the friendships are very very very real.

[dexter]

Can I ask what the rationale was for banning humor? What was the complaint?

I'm just curious... no need to explain if you don't want to talk about it.

[inkblot]

The person who complained thought that it was an annoyance and wanted the forum to stick to "medical Q&A" topics only. His posts were always very serious and too focused, I thought. I thought he needed to expand his mind.

[SweetCrusader]

I think the online thing is a good addition to live support. I know that this is my first online community, and I've probably become a bit too immersed in it. But that's mostly because at the time when I joined (and continuing today), I've been in some of the biggest crises of my life and didn't have much of a live support system. Also, I think it's hard to find people in 3d who understand sometimes. Psychcentral has been amazing for me because I have felt really understood.

I have been getting out more, and I'm hoping to continue to branch out. Most of my life I've had a very active social life (probably on the extreme of too much time with friends and not enough alone), so this past few months has been sort of my sabatical from that I guess! But I'm getting back into the swing of things as I'm learning to cope better.

This was an interesting thread, inky! And I'm sure glad we have humor AND such a close-knit bunch here.

(((hugs)))
Angela

[inkblot]

True... And thank you! You know, I was a long-time member of that forum and had earned a status of merit, maybe. I made and replied to so many posts in a day. I received all post in my emailbox as they were posted, and would receive literally hundreds of emails a day! It got kind of hard to keep up, LOL. But still after reading that post tonight, it's nice to realize again that I made a difference. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs to All @ Psych Central}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[dexter]

Your posts have often made a difference here, inky.

[dexter]

Sweet

Have you been in or looked for a Bipolar/Depression support group in your area? There are usually tons of them in every community. I tried three different ones before I found one I really "clicked" with.

The good part about that is it deals with the "Also, I think it's hard to find people in 3d who understand sometimes." part of it, which is very true. At a support group you are with people who all understand and can all share... just like here, but with the element of human contact.

The group I am in is a DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance) chapter and it is well organized, very easy to talk and I really feel supported during the meetings. Afterward anyone who wants to meets at a diner for some socialization afterward. So you get to express the things that are very troublesome in a safe environment, and following that you have an opportunity to forget about the problems and just talk, laugh, and socialize in a diner environment.

It helps deal with the other people in our lives who "don't get it". Most groups are also open to friends and family members who want to come and speak and listen and learn more... for the people around who don't get it, but want to. Those can be valuable friends.

[SweetCrusader]

Thanks for the advice, Dex. I'm not bipolar, though! lol I haven't been officially diagnosed anything. Most would probably call me borderline, but my T doesn't EVER diagnose personality disorders and I have never asked her what she'd say I am. Maybe DDNOS. I dissociate a lot. I do suffer from depression sometimes, but it's more of a secondary problem, really. The stuff that I find that people can't understand is more of abuse-related issues. Like my roommate last year called me a hypochondriac who has anxiety over everything just because I have a lot of triggers. And she called cutting "psycho." Know what I mean?

Maybe if I could find a survivors of abuse and neglect support group, that would be better though.

At any rate, I do appreciate your advice!

Angela

[jwwells]

Online support is a good part of mental health support if one remembers a few things:

a) the internet can be addictive
b) online support does not have the personal touch that f2f has
c) online support can have some very bad information put up as valid, this is far less likely in f2f support

One problem in f2f support is derived from the political situation: Males who have been hurt by females are for-the-most-part not welcome in f2f situations (there are exceptions, but the rule holds for most f2f groups).

I'd love to have a "real" face to face support group: But, the above applies quite violently to the southern Ontario region ....

jw

[jbug]

I know that my experiences online have been helpful to me. I wanted to find people that had some of the same life experiences as me and bam I found them here. At first the whole internet thing was intimdating to me but I have found a lot of good friends and wouldn't trade my time that I have spent online for the world. I do know that I have battled "internet addiction" where all my waking time was spent on the web but I have started to limit how much I spend online and have found that RL has some pretty good things in it.

Janniebug

[angel04]

What about the very accurate quote "laughter is the best medicine?"
I say joke away!! Laughter is good!

[dexter]

>>online support can have some very bad information put up as valid,

This is a good thing to remember with any aspect of the internet. Anyone can post information, misinformed, lies, half truths... And anyone with a little bit of skill can all by himself set up a website that looks as official and as professional as ever, and our experience with other media tends to make us associate "professional" with "trustworthy". Although that is also the case in real life, on the internet it is a much much easier process and can all be done by one person.