[Butterfly_Faerie]

I have been absent from the board for awhile now and from what Benblesed has told me what went on i'm glad I was away and missed all those triggering posts.

I've been dealing with a bit of stress lately, mostly because my anxiety is up and I have to at least send out 2 resumes this week for jobs, and I don't want too. But I know I can't avoid it and I need to do it to build of my confidence because right now I have none when it comes to jobs.

My SAD is going to start kicking in, maybe it has now but I think the vitamins...

So I gotta start my lightbox (light therapy) this week and sit under it for 5 minutes each day to start, because I was ultra sensitive to it last year.

I've had some triggers a couple weeks ago , some depression as well, but things are looking up. I haven't gone downhill in terms of my SAD which is surprising because this is the time where it hits me the worse.

I think for me the biggest thing is to deal with getting my confidence up, getting that up will conquer my anxiety as well.

I had a massive panic attack not too long ago with contacting someone about a job. Was panicky for 3 hours crying, wringing my hands, freaking out. But I did call that day and left her a message, but she didn't call me back and I didn't do another follow up i guess it's because I wasn't that sure about it.

It's going to be a rough couple of weeks I think.
Also I've been still dealing with food anxiety regarding meat ect.

That is getting better... also I got to drink more fluids. Have to drink something ever 2 hrs, but i'm forgetting that already.

[Nerak]

Welcome back Sundance (((((((((((((Sundance)))))))))

[shakes]

(((((Sundance))))))
Thinking about you lady.

Jessica

[Butterfly_Faerie]

I've been stressed out lately in regards to finding work again ect. I got to start my lightbox and should set it up tonight so I can get under it tomorrow morning.

Me and my BF had a rough time last night, we were both in bad moods and I cried alot, got depressed.

He upset me and scared me last night, but I think we figured stuff out.

Just under alot of stress at the moment and it sucks...

[Butterfly_Faerie]

<font color="red"> Well the weather is getting colder, i'm going to miss doing my lighbox all week because I didn't bring it to my bf's place.

Had some stress and annoyance yesturday to do with jobs ect, and I had to get another job application because my BF misplaced it.

I want to get a job but I know this one place is hiring many many positions and now is the time to send it or fax it out, but i am hesitant because i know i'll get a call back for an interview.

I didn't even fax out my one resume/application that I was supposed to last week. Well I think as long as I do it before I have my appt on the 27th. This sucks.

The sun is out today so i'm happy about that it's just getting cold.

Hmm nothing really to report though. I didn't get started on my "homework" that my psychiarist wanted me to do. Writting down postive stuff to build self confidence in terms of jobs and interview, I don't know what to write.

Also I had to keep track of my food/drink but I didn't bother my patterns haven't changed. also suppose to be keeping track of fluids (since I don't get enough daily) every 2 hours got to drink something, well that didn't last long.

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