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#1
Apr 02, 2008, 05:17 PM
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Just got back from cemetery....my stepmother has once again desecrated my father's grave. She took everything my sister and I had left.
 I hate her. Im very hurt and I feel lost. Why is she so mean?   
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schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
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#2
Apr 02, 2008, 05:20 PM
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 We can't control others. The best we can do is be the best people we can be, become. Hopefully, we learn from these hard lessons and not become as others whom we don't like.
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#3
Apr 02, 2008, 05:21 PM
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did you ask her about it? maybe by chance she didn't do it?
hon I am not defending her by any means but things get thrown away at cemetaries all the time. I know where my mom and my granddaughter are they clean constantly.
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He who angers you controls you! |
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#4
Apr 02, 2008, 05:31 PM
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Yes, usually flowers and stuff are only left a couple days; who wants to see dead flowers around them when they're visiting? I would call the cemetery and ask them about their policy, how long things are left for.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#5
Apr 02, 2008, 05:38 PM
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there are no rule at this cemetery and the flowers werent dead. iev gone every day to be sure they looked nice. and she has done this before...to my grandpas grave. she did it then to hurt my grandmas feelings (this was while i lived with dad and her and i witnessed her doing it!)
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
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#6
Apr 02, 2008, 05:49 PM
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That's really sad. I guess I'd try to put flowers there quietly and not during obvious times and see if you could avoid her more.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#7
Apr 02, 2008, 05:50 PM
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((((((((Halliebeth))))))) |
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#8
Apr 02, 2008, 06:20 PM
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(((((Halliebeth)))))
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 Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
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#9
Apr 02, 2008, 06:49 PM
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Can you tell the caretakers that "someone" is stealing the flowers? If you mention family they might not get involved, but generally it isn't lawful to take things from a gravesite that you didn't place there.
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#10
Apr 02, 2008, 06:56 PM
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I had the same problem where my foster daughter is buried. To be clear, she was with us for 12 years and was only legally not ours. Anyway someone would take the stones from her stone which is our tradition and flowers as well. I really lost it and suddenly was filled with calm as I realized that she is not there. That is where her shell is buried in an unnatural way. She is here in this home, in the memory tree we planted, in the pictures of her living. Yes, it is tradition to go to the grave but for me I found that once I released the grave I had more peace. Good luck. (by the way your step mom seems depraved)
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#11
Apr 02, 2008, 07:06 PM
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maybe she is just sad herself too
(((hallie)))) |
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#12
Apr 02, 2008, 10:37 PM
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Hallie I'm so sorry that you're going through this! Find a flat rock, wash it, and write a short message (love you, etc) and place it behind the head stone where she'll not find it. My kids painted some and put their names on one side and a message on the other and placed them on my father's headstone.
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children. |
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#13
Apr 02, 2008, 11:25 PM
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there is no headstone
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
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#14
Apr 03, 2008, 12:31 PM
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Mean people suck HallieBeth (just my two)
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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