Resisting the temptations in your daily life

Looking through the forums here I did not see an appropriate section for a post on impulse control...if there is one, please feel free to move this post.

I've always been spontaneous and when I want something I want it now. Alltogether, this has helped me a lot in life because I have a real drive to go after things that make me successful etc.

On the other hand, I can never stick to diets because if I want that box of Godiva cholocates I'm gonna get it. Purchases follow the same route, I don't go into debt but have been known to buy very expensive things because I have to have them. I once moved across the country shearly on impulse.

So, on the whole it works out great, however, as you can imagine sometimes I (like most people) want to do something that is not in my best interest. Are there any tips on not doing something that you really want to do?

I've been debating this because part of me thinks that is something is in your heart and you really want it, you have to go for it no matter what other people think. The other part of me says that smart people weigh the pros and cons and don't just go off willy-nilly chasing every silly idea.

i WISH i had tips on this! i have the same problem. i'll be watching this thread and hoping someone will post some sagely advice for the both of us!!

Angela

hmmmm sage advice???

Well, first I would advise you to make it a policy, with yourself, that you never "--" at that very moment. If it's a big purchase, you get all the info, and tell the salesman you never buy the first time you're thinking about it. That would include telephone sales calls too... tell them you'll think about it, but you never buy over the phone on impulse.

For activity, like moving, you have to find a good spread of time that will work for you. Think back over your other impulsive moves and try and see if by taking how much more time prior, that it might have helped you to make adifferent decision. This one, for me, usually requires my T to tell me something along the lines of he doesn't think it's the right thing for me to do right now... and how waiting a little bit, and discussing it in therapy, might help me see when the best time or decision will be.

Breathe! Promise yourself you won't decide anything on the spur of the moment. Make it a pattern. Even if it's a milkshake you want... put the thought aside for a bit... make sure that is what you want and will satiate that desire.

Have any of you seen the commercial where a young woman is in an apartment kitchen, making dinner, with the tv on a home shopping channel... the sales girl is counting down how many are left and urging them to hurry up and buy before it's gone... the young woman grabs her credit card from the freezer and tries to hack at it to break it out of the ice... and inadvertantly knocks the tv control to another channel... one talking about how easy it is to buy a house, save money for it etc....

Sometimes our impulsiveness denies us the things we really want. Try and make a GOAL list... place it in a prominent place so you see it... try and make decisions that propel you towards those goals... or won't take you too far off, or delay you much.

Take your meds. lol

Sky..thanks for the "sage advice." I agree with you that having and identifying goals is important to success. Life is short and I've always believed that one should go after what they want, regardless of what other people might think.

I try to take good care of myself and do what is in my best interests. Sometimes, however the choice is not clear...for example, the job you really want, might not pay enough to meet the rent, etc. Or you might really like skydiving, but it is insanely dangerous.

One contingent of people would tell you to follow your heart because you only live once and you do not want to go through life regretting things you did not do. The others would counsel you to make the safe choice, thus ensuring a more stable, wealthy, etc. life over the long term. In a way both would be right.

So, when I make the safe choice, I feel that I am compromising my wants and so I feel like an idiot. When I make the "emotional" choice, I feel impulsive and well...like an idiot.

It's not an ideal situation because I want to avoid any temptation toward things that might not be great options in the long term, but I also don't want to be so timid that I am unable to fully experience life.

Sorry for the long post....

Just to speak to the larger issue, "on the whole it works out great," if that is true I do not believe that is by luck or accident. I think in the long run you know what decisions to make for yourself, even if you don't realize it. Moving cross country on an impulse would be a scary and dangerous idea for most people, but if it is something that works for you then that's all you need to know.

I do understand that you are asking about the things that you would like to have more control over and I do hope the suggestions will help you find your goal. But in the long run don't be overly concerned because you seem to be doing OK in many ways. Maybe it isn't a matter of making impulsive decisions, but finding a balance as to which impulsive decisions to act on and which to avoid. Ozzie suggests that kind of balance in her post.

My dad used to NEVER make impulsive decisions on purchases, but to the point where he would literally spend MONTHS researching and comparing and pricing just about anything we bought except for groceries. It killed the joy of purchasing anything, because we got so bogged down in the process. As a result I did good when I got on my own and found a good balance. I was lucky not to have just gone in the other direction and bought everything on impulse. The balance always worked very well for me. I research stuff for a short time before laying out a lot of money. But I am not afraid to do an impulse buy either. However usually an "impulse buy" is something I have already researched, it may just be something that I've read a lot about but wasn't really considering buying, so when I had the "impulse" to buy I was already "informed".

I got off topic... sorry.