Not meant to offend anyone who has one... just my opinion and wanting to learn...

I have trouble understanding the tickers that count how long one has refraining from a certain self-destructive activity.

I could never keep count of the days I don't self-injure. If I go a certain amount of time without it, that's good. If I slip up, then oh well-- that's just where I was at during the moment and I need that as a coping mechanism. If I can stop for good one day, it will happen through a natural process. I feel like keeping count would put more pressure and anxiety on me, rather than having it a way to track my accomplishment.

I believe that it is not the amount of days that it is important, but the things one did instead of the behavior-- and moreso, the process that took him/her to that point.

What happens if you mess up? Do you have to reset the counter and then feel bad about yourself? I hope not. :-(

[Brian37]

well im glad you asked because I was "PM'd" by 2 members who were upset about my pornography ticker.....they rambled on about
"triggering" and so on......so I replied that I had not intended to offend anyone, so I removed mine......then "Clyde" jumped in and said the powers that be were considering banning them.....so far I have not had a reply as to the status of that.....however since I removed mine
I have made it clear that all widgets/counters should go because a new thread has popped up on how to remove them so you cant see them in a post........so apparently many are offended by them........

as for your question....mine was a simple reminder that I could get thru a day without "acting out" by using pornography.......since Ive lost my widget, unfortunately ive regressed back to using pornography for coping with my lonliness and despair.....so it actually helped me ....

[bebop]

there is a way to block the widgets. me personally I don't have an issue with them. I think maybe it is how one percieves it. if you look at it as a celebration then I think that would help. just my opinion though. if you look in the technical forum you will find the way to block the widgets.

[nowheretorun]

i think its great Christina figured that out.. i dont intend to use it since i am not trigged...

Kudos to Christina for sure..

Why would they be banned?

I mean, my original question was: how do they help you?

But, aside from that, I have to say.. Um, it's a freedom of expression. Triggers are all over the freaking world, all the time.... we can't just ban everything.

Brian, I'm sorry that you had to remove something that was helping you in your addiction. Maybe you can make your own ticker with paper? A calendar perhaps?

[Razzleberry]

They help to remind us how far we've come and to try not to mess up again. And to show our accomplishments. And maybe get some support from others going "wow, look how far you've come" kind of thing.

And then when you do slip up, it's a reminder that you don't want to let yourself do that again.

[Perna]

Brian, by all means put yours back up if you feel it helped you; people have figured out how to stop them from showing if they don't like or are triggered by them.

I think some are just worded without thinking of anyone else and since they're public, I don't know that anyone else wants/needs to know and picture someone's use of pornography or vomiting or cutting. I think wording it so it says something like "since I stopped" or "since I started more positive behavior" whatever, would be more helpful to the community as a whole. There are rules against graphic expression in posts and some of the widgets are graphic by default because little thought was given to their wording.

[TaintedGoth1]

Here's a thought...for the people who cut or whatever...use the phrase "self injury" instead and I know that pornography is a problem, as it is for Brian, maybe put adult material??? Would that be less triggering? I know it's just different wording, but would that be less offensive for some?

Also...when I was in therapy they made it part of our goal setting to track our behaviors, which I certainly agree with. It's not something I'd discourage.

[Slippers]

I like the ticker things because they allow people to monitor progress. If they "relapse" they just remember that they had 65 days that time, and work on getting more days the next time. Just like is done in AA, NA, etc.

I think the people who use this tool are at a place in their lives where they are actively working on stopping their addictive behavior ("Action Stage"). It sounds like you are not at that place yet so it doesn't make sense for you right now.

Slippers

[Christina86]

Interesting question pinksoil.

I was the one who found a way to block them for members because I had heard that they could be triggering... probably due to choice of language being some part.

I kept track of my SIng on a semi-daily basis (not on PC) but made it clear that my learning experience from it was the most important thing... and it worked fairly well for me. Once I hit a memorable milestone (1 year), I stopped trying to figure it out, unless I'm having a bad day. It's a reminder as to how far I've come...

I know some people get upset when having to reset their counters, but I guess it's whatever works for the person.

[Liberada]

I see the point on triggering, now that ya mention it... I wanted mine so I could be a lil proud of myself. But now that I think of it, when I see the total amount of time that's passed, my first thought is: It's been only X amount of time. Like I haven't done so much to be proud of after all.

Thanks Pink I'm getting rid of mine. I'm better without it.

[splitimage]

I don't have one, but totally understand them. When I first stopped drinking I counted every day since I stopped on a calendar. It helped remind me that I''d made it through another day without drinking. I'm now counting months instead of days - and am really looking forward to picking up my 6 month sober chip at AA when I hit it. I think it's helpful to have milestones to mark your progress when you're trying to change a really harmfull behaviour. On the other hand I can't tell you the exact last time I cut - it was sometime last summer, but I'd been si free for over 3 years up to that point, so I didn't start recounting because I viewed it for what it was for me, a slip when I was under immense pressure, not a return to an old coping mechanism.

--splitimage

[DePressMe]

I have a ticker keeping track of how long I have been sober. I love my ticker. It reminds me that I am in recovery and I get some type of satisfaction out of watching the number build. True, it is not what keeps me sober, but it does make me feel good. I can't wait until my ticker hits 1000! Is it going to stop me from picking up a drink? Probably not...but, I don't have much of anything that I feel good about these days and if a silly little ticker makes me feel good....well, then I think I should take advantage of it.

Brian, I admit, when I first saw your ticker I was a little taken back. It made me feel a little uncomfortable. However, after seeing it a few times, I got use to it and it no longer bothered me. I hope you decide to bring it back if it was something that helped you. We are all here to help one another. I applaud you for putting yourself out there and admitting your struggles to the community.

I am a recovering self injurer. The word "cut" in the tickers is a little triggering for me.

I think these issues are things I need to learn how to deal with. Keeping things like pornography and SIing hidden only makes them worse. Yes, it would be a good thing if people consider others feelings when they create their ticker and try to word them in the least triggering way possible. Those who don't like the tickers do have a way to get rid of them.I hope my ticker has not bothered anybody...

[(JD)]

[LMo]

I'm kind of a hypocrite because I love my ticker but I hate looking at other people's. Mine will be gone in... 16 days, though! ;-)

[bebop]

lmo or less! hehe

[DocClyde]

boooo booo Lmo or less booo booo ;P