[magasanguis]

I'm wondering what kind of rights I have in this situation, and what kind of legal action I might take.

A certain person who I do NOT want any contact with has been harassing me for over a month. I have refused contact with her and told her I did not want her to talk to me. While I have been able to block her from Internet social sites and screen her calls, she texts me all too often. And she will resend texts sometimes five or more times. It's a nuisance, it's unwelcome, and I told her if she continued to text me, I would look into taking legal action. I am trying to figure out what I can do to keep her from contacting me. Tomorrow we will see about buying a new phone which CAN block people, as my current phone CANNOT. I'm hesitant about changing my number because we still have mutual friends, and it'd be too much of a hassle if she would just grab the number from their phones.

Does anyone have any informational links, or personal advice, for me?

[Perna]

I would turn off your phone/text message system for awhile; make arrangements to contact other friends other ways and/or I'd just ignore, as in totally as if she's invisible, anything coming from her. Any response at all is what she's looking for so no response as if you don't care would probably extinguish it completely. Think of it like spam in email. If you turn off your phone for a week, she'll get tired and your message center full, etc. Another thing you might do is contact your carrier and ask them what, if anything, they can do to block messages coming from that number. Even if your phone doesn't have a feature, I imagine they do.

The only other "legal" thing you can do is see a lawyer and get a restraining order. I had a boss and his ex-girlfriend wouldn't leave him alone (and at one time she had worked with us) and he had to do that. Every time she called after that he would turn it over to the lawyer, etc. and it would be followed up on.

[magasanguis]

I have been adamant in ignoring this girl for weeks. She's not really stable (hence I don't want to keep contact with her) so she isn't getting the message. I've even asked that my other friends not bring me up because I don't want indirect communication with her either.

I'm not sure text message systems can be disabled on my phone. My cell phone carrier prides itself on free unlimited text messages on every plan, so I can't think enough people ask to have it disabled since they're free. The company even sends texts through the phone to let me know when the bill is due, etc.

Apparently I can file a police report, which will hopefully be our last resort, if I can't prevent contact by myself/with the phone company.

mags, call the phone company.

Most have to have SOME way to disable text messaging, as they need to be able to block spam for people who get innundated with the stuff. And some even have ways to block certain numbers!

Its very important that if you are thinking you may have to file a police report, you NEED to keep records of EVERYTHING. That means - save every text message, every email, every voicemail, every everything, and make journals of all contacts with dates, times, and what occured. This will help you muchly to show exactly how and what she is doing rather than trying to remember it all when you file the report.

Sorry she is being so stinky

[magasanguis]

I keep her texts in the phone as long as I can. When it comes time to delete them, I type them out and record the general times and dates on them.

The associates at the store said there wasn't a way for them to block numbers, so I'm looking for a new phone like my old one, which blocks individual numbers.

But if that doesn't work, we have absolute proof that she has been contacting me after I specifically told her I didn't want her to.

This girl is a real piece of work. After I sent her a message saying I was looking into legal action, she said she would sue me and my family for emotional damages unless I talked to her. You can't sue for emotional damage if you're damaged.

So thanks for the support!

[splitimage]

Just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you're going through this. She sounds like a real problem.

--splitimage

[magasanguis]

Thanks everyone.

I THINK we may have solved this. She texted me yesterday, to which I replied something like, "You've been told not to text me." She said she'd continue until I gave into a demand of hers, which is essentially to argue with her. My mom texted her from her own phone telling her to stop texting me, and she replied with a defiant "no" again. So my mom called her and told her personally to stop texting or we'd involve the police.

This didn't get to her. I got one more text from her, so my dad called and spoke to her dad, who alternated between "Why won't your daughter just talk to my daughter?" and "This is an issue between the kids." Nevertheless, after he hollered at my dad and called my mom names, he DID seem to assure my dad that this girl wouldn't contact me anymore.

I got a text from her saying she wouldn't text me ever again, but that she wishes my family would be mature. She also wants us to realize we've done something very wrong.

So now it's a waiting game. Our options if she chooses to text me again are either a restraining order or a new phone, which are roughly in the same price range. It's all up to luck now.

[(JD)]

You may have already been able to get a new phone number without charge. Call your provider and explain the harassment, they might do it for free. Good wishes.

[magasanguis]

Getting a new phone number is free regardless. I thought about getting a new phone number, and it's a little less drastic, but it's also very iffy.

See, we have a bunch of mutual friends still (though she's gradually losing many), and it'd be very simple for her to take another friend's phone off of them and find my new number. Not to mention it'd be a lot easier if I didn't have this new number registered with my bank and my job, so I'd have to change all of that...

Changing the number just seems like a lot of work, considering it's the most likely to fail.

If she texts again, I'll send her a message saying "The number you have contacted is no longer in service." We'll know right away if she "gets it" or not. And if she doesn't, THEN we'll have to get a restraining order/new phone.

[(JD)]

Why not get the phone company to warn her? Since you've told her not to contact you, and she continues to use the phone to do so, that's harassment. Phone companies are quite efficient at helping people stop that sort of activity.

[magasanguis]

Good idea! I think things have died down, but if not, we sure have some good ideas.